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What I think "game" should be
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Author:  MaxBrenner [ Sat May 14, 2011 12:02 am ]
Post subject:  What I think "game" should be

I have a girl that I can see pretty much whenever I want, she likes me and I like her and it's cool to love each other. She doesn't call or text often, I don't call her or text her often, and if I am around I can call her and she will most likely come. I like this because she doesn't bother me and she doesn't expect a lot from me, yet we enjoy being together.

I met a very pretty young girl some time ago, and I wasn't smart enough to get her info. I found her again last week and I got her number this time. I like her a lot and my hopes run high, she has a beautiful smile and a great butt. I will try to see her either this weekend or this week.

I went out once with this other girl I don't know a lot, and she's pretty cool. She behaves as if she were open to start a relationship and gives me good feedback. I want to see her again, badly, but I am not home and I don't want to keep texting her from afar, both because she will think I only think about her and because not doing so she will be wondering what I am doing thousands of miles away.

I have a few more girls that are not very close these days, one that is a friend I am trying to take out of the friend zone, another that is worried about a weird relationship and another that thinks she's in love with someone she's not in love with (let's say 'mirage effect).

The point here is that I think I am doing one thing right: not becoming obsessed about loving ONE girl, but keeping my mind busy with a few girls, this way I can see somebody often without relying on just one girl, and all of them stay more interested in me. I will be gaining ground with each one and it will be more fun than worries.

Does anybody think it's a good idea to date several girls at once? I think it works, strategically speaking, and it's so much fun!

Author:  axtion [ Sat May 14, 2011 5:04 pm ]
Post subject: 

as long as the girls know there is not an exclusive relationship, its all good.

Author:  jaypua [ Sat May 14, 2011 8:17 pm ]
Post subject: 

Agree with axtion. I feel that if you let girls know frequently that your in an open relationship, then there should be no problems.

Author:  MaxBrenner [ Sun May 15, 2011 2:34 am ]
Post subject:  How to keep a relationship open?

Yeah, you guys are right. The first girl knows the relationship is open, but how can I set the status of a new relationship as "open"? I would go right ahead and tell the girl "ok, this is great, but we're not in a relationship yet, this is going to be an open relationship until we figure out it has to change status". I won't tell her that I may have a few other relationships while I'm seeing her. So the point here is, how are we supposed to make them understand that they shouldn't expect a close and exclusive relationship yet? I mean, maybe I like it very much and I may find I want to be with only one girl, but, how do I keep it open while I prefer it to be open?

Author:  poeticlyskuac [ Sun May 15, 2011 9:37 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How to keep a relationship open?

Quote:
Yeah, you guys are right. The first girl knows the relationship is open, but how can I set the status of a new relationship as "open"? I would go right ahead and tell the girl "ok, this is great, but we're not in a relationship yet, this is going to be an open relationship until we figure out it has to change status". I won't tell her that I may have a few other relationships while I'm seeing her. So the point here is, how are we supposed to make them understand that they shouldn't expect a close and exclusive relationship yet? I mean, maybe I like it very much and I may find I want to be with only one girl, but, how do I keep it open while I prefer it to be open?
I actually act as if there is no relationship. I establish that there is no relationship.

I just tell them that a lot of other guys like them and it's no biggie to me. I look to charge the woman's confidence, and have good to great sex with them(always make sure they get theirs). This will make them want to come back. Acting as if they can go with guys when ever adds to my scarcity factor, makes it seem like it is just sex. After all that is all it is is just sex. I also talk about other girls as well, not to rub it in but to let them know that there are other girls.

Another thing I've done is I've told them that if they see a guy that catches their fancy to go ahead with it. I'm not the guy who is going to be there as far as relationship goes when they need me. They know I am there as a friend but they know that I'm not their boyfriend.

When it comes to straight sex relationships you need to limit the amount of times you visit with them. Emotions add attachment, attachment adds ownership. I learned that the more time you spend with women the more they expect a relationship or believe it is a relationship.

With buck fuddies you have to gain a few guidelines. Here are some I tend to follow:

1. Always have sex when you hang out. I'm not saying to get straight to down and dirty because that isn't always the relationship but if you have sex then that is the expectation. If you hang out that has relationship implications.

2. Beware of how often you indulge. The more frequent the visit the riskier the situation. If you go to a girls house 3 times a week she's going to realize there is likely not another gal out there, you are likely spending most free nights with her. We like to do it, and do it often but if you spend to much time together relationship will be her expectation and understandably. Girls will in a lot of cases try to upgrade the relationship and that comes with spending more time with her.

3. Define things. You have to define that there is no relationship. Saying things like "I'm glad that you are such a mature woman, most woman aren't mature enough to handle such a great casual sex situation." So you didn't just assume the no relationship, you also complimented her ability to be mature enough to handle it.

4. Make them aware of other possible mates (yours and hers). Seriously guys, if you say "oh he's got a crush, you should go for him", they'll find you to be quite confident and find you to be scarce and thus more attractive.

5. Have Good to Great sex. If you want a repeat woman, a woman that calls you looking for action, you better satisfy her needs. Get her off at least once, hopefully far more. This is easier said then done, but it isn't hard guys, just be selfless as a mate. You need to make it worth it to them.

6. Never spend the night. Ok It's a pain to kick woman out nicely and I just don't care to bring people to my home very often. There are few that come through but I tend to prefer to go to their spot rather than bring home the girl. So I figure if I go to there spot, I can just leave. Once you start spending the night you start spending to much time with them, those in a relationship sleep together, those who aren't in a relationship rarely sleep together(I have had female friends I've slept in the same bed with).

These are the concepts I tend to follow(never really thought about it until now), where I have maintained casual sexual relationship for over 6 months. Another has been off and on for a few years. I've had a couple more but none that have lasted as long, however I do want to say every time the friendship following the closure of a casual sex relationship has maintained. No sour feelings, though I know a more then a few of them would have loved a relationship I limited that possibility. I did it in a classy and honest manner, I made sure they realized they were getting something out of it. In the end everyone was happy.

Author:  Txacoli [ Sun May 15, 2011 10:21 am ]
Post subject: 

^^^ These are great guidelines! I can see some of the mistakes I've made. To the topic of telling her you're seeing other people. I usually tell her I really enjoy her company and like spending time with her, but I'm not looking for a relationship and can't make any promises whatsoever. I repeat it in different words several times until I'm sure she understands what it means. If she asks what does it mean, I tell her nicely I'm not ready to be committed to one person, but I can give her 100% of my attention when we're together. Whatever you say it's gotta be clear. She has to understand it.

Author:  MaxBrenner [ Sun May 15, 2011 3:37 pm ]
Post subject: 

I think these posts have shed some light for beginners like myself on why it's a good idea to have more than one girl, and how to work the situations to keep relationships loose enough.

Now I would like to have some more feedback on game itself. One of the girls that I am seeing is pretty much ready, I can feel it. In fact she asked me out by saying we should go get a beer. For the actual date she took her sister. In the beginning this bothered me, but then I decided we all would have a good time, and that's what happened. Now I am going to see her again and I would like to have you input to optimize my chances of success.

My plan is to show her a good time. There is a restaurant I would like to take her just for a bite. The place is expensive, but they serve the very best of certain starters. I don't quite like their main courses because they are expensive, portions are small and they are not as spectacular. But the starters are great to grab a bite, have a drink and move on. So I could take her there in the day, say around noon and thinking about having a late lunch, or in the afternoon, to have a late dinner somewhere else. I think this is a good idea, because we'd start hoping from place to place. Then we could spend some time in a museum (I like museums like the MoMa in NYC because while art is always too complex for a logical mind like mine, modern art is fun and entertaining) that I personally want to see. And last time we had mentioned another new museum in town. Going to such a place would show her that I am also a guy that can go to museums, that while not my favorites, I like them every now and then.
Another choice is a movie, but I don't know if it would be a good idea to go sit still and watch something in silence.
I am sure this girl likes me, she touches me a lot and there is communication while we're not together (during the week, texts or internet), now I would like to improve my chances, probably a kiss close (as it's called here) for next time would be a reasonable goal. And I want to avoid becoming a friend.

Please share your wisdom!

Max

Author:  theBard [ Sun May 15, 2011 5:44 pm ]
Post subject: 

poeticlyskuac , great guidelines!
thanks for sharing.

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