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What's the key to refining your conversational skills?
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Author:  SierraNevada [ Thu Oct 21, 2010 6:15 am ]
Post subject:  What's the key to refining your conversational skills?
I am meeting a lot of new women everyday, talking to as many people in general as I can, and I am wondering what the learning curve is like for good conversation skill. After the conversation, I look back and see where I could have done something better, and see where I made a good choice. Hopefully this prepares me for the next time the same thing arises.

Am I on the right path?
Author:  Lucky D [ Thu Oct 21, 2010 6:36 am ]
Post subject: 
good convo skills is basically building conections between 2 pple. seeking commonalities in sujects. but ur in a good direction
Author:  Sticksie [ Thu Oct 21, 2010 11:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
I'd sugest you read:
talk language bye alan pease and alan garner.
Great book, and rather than teach you lines it will providw the info you need to really become a good conversationalist.
Author:  jazz25 [ Fri Oct 22, 2010 12:47 am ]
Post subject: 
Practice
Author:  rliax [ Sat Oct 23, 2010 1:33 am ]
Post subject:  Tip
I can help you:

To have a good conversation you have to know this:
Talking to a girl is about eliciting (to draw out) emotions. To do this use open ended questions (how, why, an etc) I wouldn't recommend close enders (do, does)
Why it works:
Open enders tend to draw out a longer opinion than a yes or a no.

Treat a convo like a dance: take the lead when she gives you the chance
bad ex

bpua: *cocky comment*
Stacy: Can you say "cocky"
bpua:Do you always get that look? Its...sexy.

Here the bpua didn't take control of the convo. But her's a good example:
her: Can you say "cocky"
bpua: Sure.. ``Cocky``. Now what do I win?
her: haha.. nothing
bpua: Aw.. this game's boring. Let`s play something else.
her: okay, like what?
Here bob took control of the coversation and showed his "alphaness"


Try using this technique: Just take lead of the conversation when its give to you.

oh yeah Don't forget to give rep pints!
:D [/quote]
Author:  Serial Killer [ Tue Nov 09, 2010 2:39 am ]
Post subject: 
just keep doing what your doing. You are right to take a minute to try to evaluate what just went down and what you could being doing better after each interaction, but don't overanalyze too much. You can't dismiss an approach just because it didn't work with one girl, you know what I mean. You try that same style on 9 or 10 girls without effect, than move on to the next thing. Just try to get as much experience as fast as possible. You will thank yourself later :wink:
Author:  poeticlyskuac [ Tue Nov 09, 2010 8:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
1. Ask someone what they are thinking, you will have a whole bunch to talk about. They are passionate about whatever they are thinking about right now.

2. Search for details on specific statements in sentence.

She Says: I.E. I was just talking to Sandy and she was talking about going to **** on Friday.

Responses
Oh are you going to **** on Friday?
How has Sandy been?
What has Sandy been up to?
Who is Sandy?
What are you doing on Friday?
What is **** like?

All you do is pick out the specific words and use them in a question.

3. Pay attention to the details...

A person may be wearing a shirt with their favorite band, movie, cartoon, whatever. Ask them about it, relate etc.

A person might have a collection of one color on them(jewelry, shirt, shoes, pants, etc), make a comment or ask about it.

Commenting on her jewelry can open up an entire conversation on where she got it(perhaps a vacation).

Look for conversation bits, a hat can give some insight. People consciously choose to where the clothes they wear because they want to be perceived that way.

4. Look for observations that can flow a conversation. Perhaps something goofy with other people and you can share the observation. Being aware can help you quite a bit.

5. Repeat their last words and it will force them to expand on what they just say, this can revive a conversation a lot of times.

6. Ask Why? This is very good all you are doing is asking them to expand.

A conversation should be a good experience for everyone, at least that is my feelings about all interactions. There are literally hundreds of tactics but conversation should just be natural. Ask questions that interest you.
Author:  Scyth [ Wed Nov 10, 2010 9:24 am ]
Post subject: 
Wow, there's some long answers to this question.

I was just going to say "Being genuinely interested in people is the key to good conversation."

Peoples favourite subject to talk about is themselves. So just start them off and listen.
Author:  Acolyte [ Thu Nov 11, 2010 2:04 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Wow, there's some long answers to this question.

I was just going to say "Being genuinely interested in people is the key to good conversation."

Peoples favourite subject to talk about is themselves. So just start them off and listen.
Its a good start, but don't let them lead the conversation lead it yourself, otherwise they might lead you to a dead end and create an awkward silence.

I've found a good technique is talk about things that are ethereal rather than things that are physical. Physical things are like, what flavor ice cream, hometowns, places to have fun, etc - things that physically exist. Ethereal topics are like, love, hapiness, essentially ideas.

An example would be my favorite question to ask: Do you think there is a difference between having a connection with someone and having things in common with them. How so ....

It is much easier to connect on ethereal topics than physical ones.
Author:  MrBlond [ Tue Nov 16, 2010 11:38 pm ]
Post subject: 
watch every james bond movie that sean connery was in.
Author:  SierraNevada [ Fri Nov 19, 2010 6:59 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks for all the information.

I just had a good conversation with a girl and I for the most part did lead, but I did let her lead the conversation to silence once, maybe twice. I also made quite a few errors (her not getting some jokes etc...) but that's all part of the learning process. I was able to see details and ask her about them in a way that DID get her to share her experience or her emotional take on things which did allow me to show a personal interest. I just barely escalated sexually by saying something like "that's kind of sexy I like that you...", but the words "kind of" weakened the meaning so I won't do that again.

PS. Going to throw myself in more situations, and watch some Sean Connery 007 movies.
Author:  Grand Master [ Fri Nov 19, 2010 11:46 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I've found a good technique is talk about things that are ethereal rather than things that are physical. Physical things are like, what flavor ice cream, hometowns, places to have fun, etc - things that physically exist. Ethereal topics are like, love, hapiness, essentially ideas.

An example would be my favorite question to ask: Do you think there is a difference between having a connection with someone and having things in common with them. How so ....

It is much easier to connect on ethereal topics than physical ones.
Gold.

I have unconsciously done this in the past and didn't even notice it. This is a big help. Thanks. :)
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