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How to handle the ex?
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Author:  MickCoffee [ Wed Mar 03, 2010 9:17 am ]
Post subject:  How to handle the ex?
Hey guys, this isn't a problem I'm just curious on how people would react to this situation and it's also vital for a social dynamics essay.

A year ago I split up with my ex of 4 months, which were mainly spent on non-stop mind blowing sex. When we broke up, she was distraught and felt used though hand on my own heart I did not have the intention of just using her. I said to her that we both had a good time and it was fun while it lasted but I was under a lot of stress at the time and I needed to get out of a relationship and calm down (all is true). Eversince then she has throughly hated me.

Now, at that time she was at different schools but 5 months ago I had to move there and when she found out she went crazy, even to the point of threatening me if I ever came. Ofcourse, when I arrived, nothing happened and mainly focused on making new friends with the AMOGs. The question is, if you were in this situation how would you handle it? I'm not asking for a long paragraph just a few sentences with a justification would be fine :)

Ps she was a 8 :P

Happy Gaming guys! :twisted:
Coffee
Author:  MickCoffee [ Mon Mar 08, 2010 9:17 am ]
Post subject: 
Aw cmon guys, I've put a bit in for the community, put a bit in for me. Investment you know.

Happy Gaming :twisted:
AFCcoffee
Author:  spectral123 [ Mon Mar 08, 2010 5:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
What do you expect us to say?
What can you do?

I guess you have 2 options.
try and make friends, or just ignore her/ sleep with her friends. It's what i'd do.
Author:  MickCoffee [ Mon Mar 08, 2010 6:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Dude, I want an answer not more questions. This is for a social dynamics essay and I split with her a year ago. I'm not asking for suggestions, such as "make new friends" I have enough friends male and female I'm asking how would YOU handle the situation. It's not a hard question to answer.

Happy Gaming :twisted:
AFCCoffee
Author:  Little Panda [ Mon Mar 08, 2010 6:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Uhm.. Live your life? That's usually what I would do.
Author:  Jakester [ Mon Mar 08, 2010 7:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sup Joe,

I would recommend that you do some inner work on it. Write down everything that bothers you about this situation. Such as, I'm not comfortable seeing her at the bar. What if she sees me with another woman. Whatever it is. Write down everything that is in your head that you are worried about it.

Now Let Go of your attachment to each on. I'm big into abundance course and sedona method, which I highly recommend even though it's not on pickup related stuff, it's definitely can apply to it, and life in general.

Anyway, find out what you are wanting that is causing this uncomfort. According to sedona and abundance course, we have 3 main wants, Control, Safety, and Approval. Anyway, just go through each one and let go of your attachment. As in read it, figure out what the want is if you can, though not necessary, then just focus on that negative emotion and just observe it like a scientist, don't judge it as good or bad, just observe it as a sensation in your body and eventually it'll just fade away. If you judge it however, it can get stuck sometimes while you are judging it and won't leave. So you have to just kind of observe it.

After that I'd recommend writing down everything that you hate or liked about your ex, mostly hate, and ask yourself if there is any part of you that is like that. Usually what you'll find is that everything you hate about her is actually qualities that you possess, so by accepting that, the judgement disappears.

Anywho, do that, and I'm pretty sure your "problems" will just "magically" vanish and it'll no longer be an issue for you. It might not be the answer you are looking for, but spend 30 minutes playing with it and test it out and see if you get anything out of it.
Author:  Freemind [ Mon Mar 08, 2010 7:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well, I actually have a real problem when it comes to an ex. We broke up almost a month ago. I felt it was the right decision since I had no feelings for her. She was sad as we broke up, I was suprised to realise that I felt indifference.

Now, I'm recieving heavy IOIs with a new girl, but my ex has some obsession in proving that exes can be friends. I have no problem with my ex, but I'm not too fond if she's gonna be all friend-ish with me. I want to move on, yet not make her sad, since she's still part of my social circle.

Suggestions?
Author:  MickCoffee [ Tue Mar 09, 2010 9:18 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Sup Joe,

I would recommend that you do some inner work on it. Write down everything that bothers you about this situation. Such as, I'm not comfortable seeing her at the bar. What if she sees me with another woman. Whatever it is. Write down everything that is in your head that you are worried about it.

Now Let Go of your attachment to each on. I'm big into abundance course and sedona method, which I highly recommend even though it's not on pickup related stuff, it's definitely can apply to it, and life in general.

Anyway, find out what you are wanting that is causing this uncomfort. According to sedona and abundance course, we have 3 main wants, Control, Safety, and Approval. Anyway, just go through each one and let go of your attachment. As in read it, figure out what the want is if you can, though not necessary, then just focus on that negative emotion and just observe it like a scientist, don't judge it as good or bad, just observe it as a sensation in your body and eventually it'll just fade away. If you judge it however, it can get stuck sometimes while you are judging it and won't leave. So you have to just kind of observe it.

After that I'd recommend writing down everything that you hate or liked about your ex, mostly hate, and ask yourself if there is any part of you that is like that. Usually what you'll find is that everything you hate about her is actually qualities that you possess, so by accepting that, the judgement disappears.

Anywho, do that, and I'm pretty sure your "problems" will just "magically" vanish and it'll no longer be an issue for you. It might not be the answer you are looking for, but spend 30 minutes playing with it and test it out and see if you get anything out of it.
First off, it's Coffee or AFCCoffee, not Joe :P

I appreciate your answer, actually you have gave me something to write that I didn't think of at first - how does seeing your ex make you feel and how it influences your behaviour. Thanks a lot man.

But the point, I don't want my essay to be subjective to myself, I need a few more people in it and how their ex's influence their behaviour. Any answers related to this topic will be greatly appreciated I will even quote what you say, with your permission ofcourse :P I'll then write it up here and see if anyone learns anything.
Author:  Anytime [ Wed Mar 10, 2010 2:00 am ]
Post subject: 
Post her nudes on the internet. Have sex with her friends. Live your life. Take up a hobby.
Author:  GreenieUK [ Wed Mar 10, 2010 3:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
She threatened you. She's clearly a twat. Ignore her. Shag as many of her friends as you can, n tell your mates exactly what she's like in bed.

I live with my ex (dumbest fucking move in the world) so she knows every time I take someone home, or every time I stop out. She tries her best to intimidate n scare a lot of girls off, and when she can't do that - she tells everybody about who i'm shagging. So far she's ruined any chance of me sleeping with at least seven girls I've been gaming.
It's gotten to a point now when she pulls she's as loud as physically possible to be; when I take someone back we keep my ex up all night. (my bed's squeaky as fuck, I don't do it intentionally...much)

You can't get along with an ex, it's just too difficult. Pretend the cow doesn't exist.

heh, looks like I've dug up some unresolved feelings there :shock:
Author:  MickCoffee [ Wed Mar 10, 2010 5:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Have sex with her friends.
Quote:
Shag as many of her friends as you can
Haha I like how you two have both suggested this, that's awesome. Well right now I'm dating one of her friends (I don't go by Mystery's advice that we "shouldn't date") and she's the most adorable bundle of fun you can have. I like that in a girl.

Though Greenie, about telling my mates about how she's like in bed that's just not possible. Even though it would get her back it's just not right to lower a girls value in such a way like that, in my opinion anyway.

Bummer on living with your ex dude but it's kind of funny how it's now like "ex wars", who ever makes the loudest sex and keeps the other up.. wins :D
Quote:
heh, looks like I've dug up some unresolved feelings there

I'm glad, it's very common for a MPUA to say that they don't have any feelings for a girl they've pulled to bed or had a relationship, datinge etc with. In my opinion, if that's the case then they are mere social robots, it's good to have those feelings it still defines you as human. Cherish them man don't fear them :)
Author:  Rich69 [ Wed Mar 17, 2010 8:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Post her nudes on the internet. Have sex with her friends. Live your life. Take up a hobby.
Lmao why am i thinking about taking this advice my self.. so callice
Author:  MickCoffee [ Wed Mar 17, 2010 11:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Post her nudes on the internet. Have sex with her friends. Live your life. Take up a hobby.
Lmao why am i thinking about taking this advice my self.. so callice
I wouldn't think twice of doing that, very degrading lol
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