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Am I missing a crucial piece of inner game?
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Author:  abstracted [ Sun Dec 27, 2009 6:04 am ]
Post subject:  Am I missing a crucial piece of inner game?
Many people say that with good inner game it will take next to no outer game to be successful. I understand outer game, but I think I am not as successful as I should be considering I have excellent inner game, or so I think.

Not to toot my horn, but I think I am very successful at 23.

I run my own business, as an independent engineering consultant.
I graduated top of my class in university.
I'm athletic, competing in the Worlds Triathlon last season.
I regularly do cool activities: traveling, motorcyling, skiing, sailing, hiking, hunting
I have good friends, mostly afc guys, but 3 of my best friends are girls.

But girls aren't regularly flocking to me. I am considering a few potential sticking points I may be having.

1. I might have some buried feeling of social inadequacy. A girlfriend I dated for 5 years and was head over heels for cheated on my about 4 years in. I took some responsibility for it as I was very introverted at the time, and she got bored. I also took her for granted in some ways. I have done my best to improve this area of my life and I think I have been successful. We've become good friends in the aftermath, and I have slept with half a dozen women since. Still, I naturally feel the need to qualify to women, even though I know better :x
2. I simply don't meet enough women that are up to snuff. I want the best qualities from all the girls I've slept with, and though I know what I want (good) maybe its not realistic (bad).

Anyway maybe I'm just crazily ranting and need more practice. This year I am going to have a way more flexible lifestyle and way more opportunities for casual day gaming. I think I was not particularly successful at night since I'm not very congruent in that environment. I spent this fall traveling and was very successful in the casual hostel environment, so I think I have to mimic that.

Any insight appreciated!
Author:  OrionMD [ Sun Dec 27, 2009 7:52 pm ]
Post subject: 
Your post is very interesting - from the accomplishments you listed, it seems like you should have no problems with inner game. However, I have an idea for you. I used to feel similar to you, I had experience with many women, was accomplished, educated, and in great shape, but I still felt like that my inner state of being was not where it should be. To overcome this difficulty, I stripped away all of my accomplishments, all of the experiences that were supposed to validate me, and worked at figuring out who I was. If you can figure out what your values and beliefs are, and establish a powerful worldview for yourself, your inner game will ascend to new levels.

Accomplishments in the world are wonderful and exciting things, but they are also be fleeting and evanescent. This is why they are an inadequate foundation for your sense of self. Depending on your situation, one day you can be "the man", and then the next day you can become the biggest douchebag in the world. However, if your values and beliefs are solid and unwavering, you will have a sense of self which does not fluctuate with your life situation. A solid belief system gives you the self-confidence to go into any situation and trust yourself completely, no matter where you are or who you are with. It also gives you the ability to feel good no matter what is going on in your environment - you draw your state of being from inside, instead of from outside. Women find this irresistible.
Author:  Jakester [ Sun Dec 27, 2009 10:31 pm ]
Post subject: 
yeah I've been there. One thing to keep in mind that if you get into what I do, it's important to not brag or boast because, I don't know why, the consistency starts to go down.

Anywho, I woke up one day and decided that I was just sick of this going out and working to get women and wanted women to flock to me. It took me 3 months to figure out once i decided that I was going to do whatever it took to figure this out. Because I knew guys existed that didn't have to do all this shit, and I wanted that. Anyway here's what I learned.

Stop giving a fuck + beliefs = massive success.

So I stopped trying to pick up women, because it's either one or the other. You can either chase the world or have the world chase you but it doesn't seem to work both ways. You have to choose depending on what you want in your life. Anywho, I decided to just stop trying so hard and decided to practicing being "indifferent" or I stopped giving a fuck. Then I used affirmations, now when I go out, women just approach me and guys buy me beer. I mean, its not like all the time, but my consistency just went out the roof compared to my old days of doing routines and actively trying to pick up women, also go out with more attractive women.

It really all just comes down to beliefs and emotions. Remember that emotions lead to events. So if you experience feelings of lack, it brings on more events to create the feeling of lack. The same goes for want. But if you decide to feel as if you already have the life that you want, then events occur to equal that. Now certain things occur, such as when it first starts happening it can be a little scary and the fear ends up messing it up. Like if you've never had women approach you at the bar, it can be a little surprising. So I had to train myself to just see it as being normal, which then causes it to be normal.

It all just comes down to beliefs and nothing else. Also I found letting go and letting god improved my consistency big time. As in when I bragged about it being me and happening because of who I had trained or practice becoming, it goes down, consistency wise. But if I just let it go and stop caring, then it happens more. One of the things i learned was only leave the house for the sake of leaving the house. As in, I found when I went to bars wanting women too approach me, it didnt really happen. But when I didnt care, that's when it happened.
Author:  tbrady10 [ Mon Dec 28, 2009 12:19 am ]
Post subject: 
good posts...i battle wit myself alot on these issues. has anyone ever heard of a book called "the secret?" well basically it talks about the law of attraction and how everything we have or will have in our lives is due to our conscious and sub-conscious thoughts. i highly suggest reading this book it has really helped me in all areas of my life!
Author:  neurotico [ Sat Jan 02, 2010 4:32 am ]
Post subject: 
One book I may suggest is The way of the superior man but David Deida.. i also have times where i doubt myself. And i always expected to have a big revelation and snap back into my strong inner self... there isn't such a thing...

I like OrionMD's post,, you strip yourself of all your accomplishments and what do you have left... the essence of a man.

I think I will take his advice as well...
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