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| cant get out my head https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=135&t=56879 |
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| Author: | lightbulb [ Sun Nov 29, 2009 5:17 pm ] |
| Post subject: | cant get out my head |
iv been really trying to put natrual game to the test, i cant seem to walk up to a girl without thinking ahead ....i understand the concept of being in the moment , but im haveing real trouble applying it, any advice?? |
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| Author: | _Manna_ [ Mon Nov 30, 2009 3:19 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: cant get out my head |
Quote: iv been really trying to put natrual game to the test, i cant seem to walk up to a girl without thinking ahead ....i understand the concept of being in the moment , but im haveing real trouble applying it, any advice??
Start over.The BARE basics of natural game: Opener: "Hey" Mid Game: "Whats up?" / "How are you today?" / "What all have you been up to?" [continue speech] Closing: "You seem pretty cool, give me your number, ill hit you up sometime" I know someone's gonna come out here and say LOL NO UR RONG! But im saying this is at the bare minimum. Go up to the girl and speak to her like she was just a guy. Don't try to seduce or flirt with her, just act like you have absolutely no interest in her. Better yet, go up to a girl that you don't know and you HAVE no interest in, and talk to them. Once you get comfortable naturally speaking to girls, you'll be able to 'upgrade' and start flirting/seducing girls naturally. |
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| Author: | J-Dub [ Thu Dec 10, 2009 5:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
OK, I had this same problem a long time ago but this is what I did to help me. Manna and I have similar views on this subject. First, it all takes practice and you have to practice alot, both in the field and off field. At home, in front of a mirror, with your sarging buddies, etc. Second, to help build up your confidence start approaching girls you normally wouldn't approach, like Manna said. I call them 'practice targets'. This will help take the edge off and make you more comfortable as you are not nervous about some HB 10 being right in front of you. Third, RELAX!!! Fourth, you don't have to remember EVERYTHING...sometimes I have to improvise and just wing it....it seems to work but you have to pay attention to your surrounding and the target so you don't look like a total idiot. Fifth, just because your 'practice target', may not be what you want, you never know who may show up later next to the 'practice target', it could be her HB 7+ girlfriend but at that point you are now IN the group and more relaxed. I kid you not, this has happened to me several times....benefits!!! Practice, practice and more practice. J-Dub |
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| Author: | _Manna_ [ Sat Dec 12, 2009 2:51 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
also about the anxiousness... idk if this will help but some 'guru' said to do this: Reframe anxiousness as excitedness. You're excited to go up and talk to someone, you can't wait to see whats going to happen. Its like a roller coaster, you may not know what around every turn but you know you're going to like it. |
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| Author: | Barney Stinson [ Sat Dec 12, 2009 3:30 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I practice on everyone all the time. My goal is everytime I talk to a cashier, server, taxi driver, student, teacher, strangers whether male or female I always try to be the best most memorable person they talked that day. This is a great way to practice natural game regularly in a completely safe environment. B-Man |
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| Author: | Jakester [ Sun Dec 20, 2009 5:23 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Just because your mind is playing and chattering doesn't mean you have to listen to it. It's your mind, so just tell the thing to shut the fuck up. Another good drill is to just observe your thoughts and then silent the mind through meditation. It's like building up a muscle, the more you practice being silent the longer you'll be able to do it. But know that the mind doesn't know the answer, so just let it go. It doesn't know the answer, so why even bother listening to that voice. OK now as far as what to do. I'd recommend like the other guys, starting small. My recommendation is to first go to a mall by yourself and just walk around. Notice that no one cares that you are there by yourself and just learn to be comfortable being around strangers. Next step, start saying hey to strangers. Trick here is to not care if they respond or not, super important. So you have to practice not wanting a response and doing it because you want to do it. Pay attention to your emotions, if you notice feelings of lack or want, let that go. After you get comfortable with that, move on to the next step. Next step, start talking to the salesman and clerks, and cashiers like the other guys have said. This isn't about women, it's learning to have a conversation with people. You have to let go of worrying about looking bad especially if you are new to this. It can be sloppy in the beggining, but the less you care about looking bad and know that it's just part of the process, the faster you will get this, same goes with all things in life. Next step, go to a bar and sit there. Now sitting there, what you want to learn is that no one cares that you are there by yourself or what you are doing. People are so busy worrying about their own bullshit that they have absolutely no time to care what you are doing. This is a big fear for people, being alone in a public place, bar, or restaurant. Next step, start having 20-30 second conversations with people and leave. Like the example of talking to a bartender. Then move on to other people, if your really nervous or anything, talk to the bouncers, bartenders, wait staff, and the guy in the bathroom that hands you towels to wash your hands. Then start talking to strangers. I recommend talking to guys, because you want to take how you speak to guys and apply it to how you speak to women. I've found that a lot of guys when talking to women, they come off as overly nice, overly arrogant, overly kiss ass, or they over-compensate. Common theme. So I recommend talking to guys and then getting used to that and then talking to women in the exact same way. NOTE: guys will not think you're gay for going up and talking to them. I'm bringing that up because I've noticed that's a common thing for guys of our generation, worry that some other guy will think they are gay. Had it myself when I first started, so it's no big deal. If you need a reframe, if you ever have guys walk up to you, do you ever think they are gay, most likely no unless they were flambouyant. Next step, start talking to women. Now here's the trick, walk away especially if the conversation is going good or if she wants you. The reason for this is to eliminate fear of loss or a scarcity mentality. You have to know, not only on an intellectual level but on an emotional level, that the supply of women is infinite and you'll never run out of new women to meet. So do that until you understand that it never ends. This is because, I've noticed, including myself, a lot of guys will start to want to latch on or grasp on a certain situation thinking "THIS IS MY CHANCE" well I think that mindset needs to be eliminating, number one so you can be yourself more and also really pay attention to who she is, but also because the less you care about it happening and seeing it as being normal, the more often it will occur. Next step, start having longer conversations with women, get their number or whatever, personally I just have women call me now a days, so I just give mine out or have them ask for it which is actually pretty easy, once you believe it's possible and that it's completely normal for you. Or moving in on a more direct style, you can just ask things like "So are you interested in me?" and just get it out of the way, if your looking to have a one night stand or something on those lines. Millions of ways to go about doing it, but it really all just comes down to beliefs, beliefs about yourself, and beliefs about what's possible |
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| Author: | Nihro [ Fri Dec 25, 2009 2:07 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Wow, awesome post Jakester. Thanks for taking the time to type all of that out. |
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