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| Natural game still made me into a social robot, I need help! https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=135&t=41439 |
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| Author: | donjuan88 [ Sat Mar 14, 2009 12:04 am ] |
| Post subject: | Natural game still made me into a social robot, I need help! |
Question: My question is, after I become fully normal again, can I get back into sarging mode and improve my skillset massively in my goal to become a dating coach while still having a normal life and being able to interact with people normally? (also last sentence of this blog) Hi, I have been in the 'seduction' community for three years now and have encountered some problems. three years ago when I was 17, I was extremely insecure and introverted in high school. Other than being a super nerd and spending all my time studying, in the remaining time I used computer games as a method to escape reality in my spare time. I even punished myself from having social time when I thought I was slacking off on work and despite being this super nerd with extremely low self-esteem, I had a huge huge ego because in my own eyes I was living up to the society's ideals to the best, including being a super great Christian boy who would have lived a virgin for the rest of his life (unforunately, after three years of self-help, I still am a virgin). Anyhow, since after turning 19 up here in Vancouver, I've hit to clubs three to four times a week and have done roughly 2500 approaches since joining the Vancouver lair (unfortunately I got booted out after trying to form a new lair, lol, but took a workshop with some local vancouver dating coaches (they're good too and focus on natural game as well, kinda similar to RSD tho not exactly the same) and have posted on their private forum for a while. The problem was, I thought because I never got into the Mystery Method, nor used any routines (I'm guilty of using The Cube, and other games from Annihilation method but in the beginning, I was soo socially inept that when I saw Mystery's 5 dvd course, and learned about the routines, I couldn't even comprehend them and forgoed learning them due to being too insecure) I would never become a social robot. Unfortunately, I found out I was wrong and was in fact micromanaging things everywhere. I thought guys in classroom situations were amoging me. The more I got better at sarging in the clubs and in the mall (I also happen to be an approach machine and usually do aorund 25 approaches every single night I'm out) the more my work and classroom situations worsened. I spent zero time creating a social circle and spent every single spare minute sarging. Even in college classroom situations, if there was a girl in class, I would go approach her, and then since I don't get much social proof from the classroom since I don't spend any time on it building a social circle, she would kinda lose interest after initial attraction. My mentor told me that I should get away from all pua stuff and focus on learning how to interact with 'chodes' normally and that once I'm able to do that, that my game will skyrocket. Well, that's precisely what I've been doing for three weeks and I learned a lot so far about how guys normally interact. In fact, this was the first time I had spent any time in a social circle getting to know guys normally since I was last being bullied around and pushed around by everybody when I was in high school. Initially, I hated my mentor for making me do this and really thought about just continuing to sarge while still having problems in classrooms and at work (after having approach and gotten rejected in these situations/or I overqualified myself to the hbs in class, which is really easy to do, and now I'm intimidating everyone and even offended the professor and perhaps the supervisor at work too). The only reason why I continued and stuck with the plan was because I had a massive cold that put me out for a whole month and I couldn't go sarging. And I used to listen to dating material such as blueprint decoded, david deangelo stuff, 24/7 whenever I was commuting and I've been doing that literally for three years and I think that overprogrammed my brain from seeing the world as it really is rather than just taking the advice and comparing to real life experience. I've watched every single David Deangelo dvd three times over, watched blueprint decoded three times over, and if you multiply even just all that by five times, I sitll probably have done more textbook studying than that. I also read like almost a 100 books that David D recommended (which actually helped my English get better, lol) Now that I've spent some time getting normal again. I'm wondering if after I become normal, if I start sarging again, then I'll revert back to my old ways. I really want to become one of the world's best puas and work as an executive coach myself but this being normal thing was so damn counter-intutive and so seemingly counter-productive at first, I was even going through an identity crisis this past few weeks because my identity depended on the high status responses I was getting when I was in-field. I was so much self-deciving myself with all this dating material that not listening to them felt like quitting smoking for a pack a day to cold turkey. And I think I had turned into this superjerk in some situations, and in others, was overanalyzing everything what other people were doing as if they were trying to amog me or game me. I used to be kind, caring, and nice, but I got rid of all that as well. Unfortunately, having bad logistics, and not taking advantages of any social circle lays (which are much easier) and focusing too much on just cold approaching and trying to get better, I have not been able to get laid and am considering a hooker to get rid of my v-card. I think the reason I had become such a social robot was because I never had the normal experience normal people take for granted of obtaining while going through high school and I was misinterpreting some of the dating advices I was getting becaues I had a lack of real life experiences to compare it with. I'm still insecure about whether I'm completely normal or not, other than just recently coming to realization of jus thow abnormal I actually was. Like judging people solely by their social skillset or extrinsic beauty and whether or not they'll help me improve my game, always living in the future and thinking about how I'll be when my game is at the next level. Actually, I felt like going crazy becaues I couldn't sarge because of my cold and becaues I thought all the dorm room guys I was living with were amoging me back becaues I had initially amoged them, but I'm actually realizing that people in general are nice and easy to hang around with. I still hadn't had a single female friend even tho I had tons of girls attracted to me. I even forgoed the opportunity of getting laid because I wanted to go out and sarge. I think that had I had the money or had somewhat of a greater success that at this point I'd be getting tired of having meaningless lays and thinking about getting a relationship. But unfortunately, that wasn't the case scenario. My question is, after I become fully normal again, can I get back into sarging mode and improve my skillset massively in my goal to become a dating coach while still having a normal life and being able to interact with people normally? |
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| Author: | miiiiichael [ Sat Mar 14, 2009 3:03 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
yes. not everyone is out to amog u. work on ur inner game so that u don't feel so insecure in yourself. |
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| Author: | SsHhAaKkEeRr [ Wed Mar 18, 2009 3:56 pm ] |
| Post subject: | I hope this helps, |
First and foremost, we have to ask timeless cliche of a question: What is normal? Don't try to define yourself as normal. What is normal based on? It's based on society's perception of overall congruent behavior. It's like finding the average of a group of numbers, you take a group of numbers add them all together and divide by the quantity of numbers that exist and you come up with an average. People naturally define "normalcy" as what is basically common and/or socially acceptable. So you like computer games and reading, that does not make you "not normal". You chose a lifestyle because of introversy and insecurities that were rooted in some past negative social experiences. Now I am no expert, I'm just giving you the best advice I can based on what I know about social interaction and personal experiences. If I had to put my finger on it, you probably found the PUA community to be a new outlet, a chance to alter your reality by becoming someone or something else. There's nothing wrong with that, you just learned the hard way that change in moderation is better than a complete overhaul that synthesized a "phony" you. The real you is in there, there is no "returning to normal" it's simply a matter of throtteling back a bit and trying different approahces to rebuilding yourself. Start with the physical, groom yourself to virtual perfection. If you organize your appearance, the mind will follow. There is no reason for you to change who you are, just change the way you present yourself both on a physical level and social level. Reading material on openers and cold reading is fine, but start with the basics. Take it step by step. As I am more than sure you know, start with openings (which by the sound of it you have no proplems with) then from there just move forward to the next step. When you come upon a sticking point, make a mental note and move on. Find the advice and help you need to overcome the sticking point and keep moving forward. If you feel like you've gone overboard with your "personal makeover" then identify what you think are the problems and fix them. There is no normal, there is only fine tuning. If you feel fake, work on being more genuine. Witty is good, but again, in moderation. I hate the term "normal" because in chosing to be defined by such a term you are allowing yourself to be led like a dog on a leash. Understandably you dont want to be a total dick, you want to be presentable and accepted in most social circles. The best advice I can give you is to start from square one. Go back to the basics and rebuild ,but don't overdo any one aspect of it. Take who you are, define what you want to improve and improve it, do not change it. Again, it's like selling yourself. You only have one product on the market, you have to find a way to present it to people (men and women alike) in a way they will accept you. People have the natural ability to determine when someone is being disingenuous. Men use about 4 to 6 parts of their brain subconciously to read someone and tell what they're about, women use between 14 and 16 parts of the brain to determine the same. I would start with the basics again and learn to read others in order to determine how to best tweak yourself. I reccomend a simple read about body language. By reading others reactions or non verbal communication towards you, you will be able to determine what you need to fine tune. The book is called "The Definative Book of Body Language" It will give you the tools you need to read people both in a one on one situation and from a distance say in a bar simply observing the happenings around you. |
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| Author: | Fathom [ Sat Mar 21, 2009 9:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Calm down. Take a deep breath. You're over over analyzing this to yourself. So you're afraid your weirdness in highschool is making you weird now? Dude, everyone was weird in highschool, that's what it was about. You've got a huge skillset thousands of guys would kill for, and you're worried it's keeping you from making friends? Making guy friends really isn't that different from puaing. Just do it without flirting. Treat them like targets and things like opening and DHV apply almost exactly the same way. Everyone, male of female, is attracted to someone with big smile and a lot of confidence. |
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| Author: | Fr33stylez [ Thu Mar 26, 2009 8:44 am ] |
| Post subject: | Heyy |
Heyy man, I had a similar problem to what you had/are having, though not with the same intensity. I found that studying PUA stuff led me to seek security in routines, openers, etc, to the point where i had even typed up a word document of a routine complete with several openers, stories, games, and lines that i could use in set. I relied exclusively on that and ignored my natural self. As a result, i went sarging one night, and just as soon as i had started to sarge this girl in a 4set i was blown out in flames. Point: i didnt even get to use my routine at all, i had become a robot which only knew (memorized) the routine i set myself up for. What i did to revert myself back to the fun sociable guy i was beforehand was to cease pick up study for a while, and just focussed on in-field experience with guys and girls through carrying out normal interactions. I suggest you do the same, and start meeting ppl, get your confidence levels up and remember, Pick up material is used to SPICE UP conversation and highten sexual tension (etc), BUT it MUST be used in conjunction with NORMAL CONVERSATION. I suggest you practise this and the rest will come. Nowadays, i focus on natural game, and from reading about your personality, i reckon you can do the same. I may use theory from PUA for openers and reading her IoI's, but beyond that, its all natural 'me' from then on. The way i see it, whats essential in pick up is: Push/Pull (bantering), Kino (be comfortable with this first), and a confident, fun personality. This is what i use, and it leads to ppl a) thinking i'm normal lol, and b) getting girls as a result, and c) This can all be used and integrated in normal conversation along with your natural frame. Please consider doing the same, its helped me in more than just Pick up - Its aided all of my interactions with all ppl. Cheers, Fr33stylez |
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| Author: | SsHhAaKkEeRr [ Thu Mar 26, 2009 9:00 am ] |
| Post subject: | Well Put |
I completely agree. I've pushed out the "mechanical" side of it and started studying body language and pulling out the natural fun person in me and it's made me a better communicator all around. I strongly suggest books like THE DIFINATIVE GUIDE TO BODY LANGUAGE and SEX SIGNALS these books will help you define what a person is saying by what their body is doing. I'm not saying you have to critique everyone you meet with these tools, I'm saying they can be used as self improvement tools so that you can get a good feel for the SPAM in the social environment and maybe even influence people's perception of you and reception of what you have to say. Communication is the base of it. When you combine this knowledge with you natural self it all just works wonders. The difference between having to memorize routines and openers and recognizing body language is that we are inherently hardwired for the latter, making it easier for us to do. We just have to make ourselves consious of what we are doing and what others are trying to say. Okay I'm rambling, but yeah, these tools will help, or at least have helped me with my natural game. Have fun!! |
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