PUA Forum :: being the "Bad Boy", pros and cons

So let's hear it: who has mastered the bad boy approach? How did you avoid these pitfalls? Who has stories, questions, insights about this approach?

I never really thought myself of a bad boy but I fullfill all these standarts. Especially the dark side

well, bad boy involves a lot of push, I think we need to pull more.
Like you said, you only really open up to girls that you trust, and that's a good thing. Screen them, are they worthy enough?

Quote:

I never really thought myself of a bad boy but I fullfill all these standarts. Especially the dark side

Hehe, I fullfill everything BUT the dark side. I am a good person but could be called bad boy when playing/talking with chicks. It works, what can I say

the problem with bad boy attitude. some time in the future you will let your guard down and she will see you for who you really are .... know waht i mean

Author:	backdoor man [ Thu Jan 22, 2009 10:08 pm ]
Post subject:	being the "Bad Boy", pros and cons
We all know about the "bad boy", and I can say that it has worked for me at times, and fucked me over at others. Now, I'm going to assume that we all know what the bad boy is, but let me quickly summarize: - completely independent. Of everyone. - doesn't attempt to pickup girls. - flirts with disregard but is never desperate. - natural leader. - cannot be strung along or manipulated. - has a dark side. These are the basics. In my experience, being a bad boy is a great way to play the game. You use a lot of negs, a lot of C/F and are constantly DHV without even really trying. You can definitely attract women, however, things tend to get complicated... There are three problems: 1) Nice guys: there's always at least one on your target, trying to get her. They are easy for the girls, don't earn the girls a slutty reputation, and offer way more comfort than a bad boy. 2) Hard game: as a bad boy, you push the limits. It is very easy to go too far, and to game a girl too hard to the point that she gets offended or creeped out etc. You are also hot on the radar as a player, and present the prospect of danger and pain to a lot of girls. Now... a lot of girls like this! But not all, and so there are the risks. 3) Rival Bad Boy: lets face it, you're not the only one playing this game. There are others, and you will most likely have to AMOG them. But be wary, conflict can get ugly and turn a girl off very easily, and when that happens, there will be a nice guy there, waiting... So let's hear it: who has mastered the bad boy approach? How did you avoid these pitfalls? Who has stories, questions, insights about this approach?

Author:	djdd [ Fri Jan 23, 2009 6:39 pm ]
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i don't understand why you would have to master the bad boy. isn't it more or less something you are or aren't. it seems to me in trying to take it on (if it's not who you already are), you sell yourself out and sooner or later you'll be exposed as a fraud. there's enough schools with the community that unless you are a bad boy, you should be using something that fits your personality. can you imagine someone who is naturally charismatic trying to develop a dark side. or someone who is naturally funny trying to all the sudden be dark, sullen, and mysterious. my point is, rather than try and take on different personality types, you will have much more solid game if you develop a style around the strengths of your personality.

Author:	backdoor man [ Fri Jan 23, 2009 8:38 pm ]
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You're right, you can't try and be something you are not. This didn't occur to me because the bad boy deal comes naturally to me, its the way I've always been. I'm just trying to hone my skills, and learn from others who have this character. Imagine someone with a dark side all of a sudden trying to be a happy-go-lucky sweetheart? I laugh at how you say sullen and mysterious though. I can tell you, nobody wants to spend time with a sullen douche bag who's going to sit in the corner and pout, that's not the bad boy at all. If anything, you can very much be the life of the party, smile and laugh as much as the next guy. But mysterious? Crucial. You don't show all your cards, ever.

Author:	Dllx [ Sat Jan 24, 2009 1:05 am ]
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I never really thought myself of a bad boy but I fullfill all these standarts. Especially the dark side I usually neg too much or get to aggressive at girls and they dont enjoy this too much-offended or creeped as u said. I can be really kind and sweet and stuff but only if I trust the girl and I know she's worth it. Im trying to break down myself so to understand what kind of game fits me.If you have any suggestions Im happy to hear them.

Author:	backdoor man [ Sun Jan 25, 2009 7:36 pm ]
Post subject:
well, bad boy involves a lot of push, I think we need to pull more. Like you said, you only really open up to girls that you trust, and that's a good thing. Screen them, are they worthy enough?

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Author:	Volturi [ Mon Jan 26, 2009 8:36 am ]
Post subject:	Re: being the "Bad Boy", pros and cons
Quote: So let's hear it: who has mastered the bad boy approach? How did you avoid these pitfalls? Who has stories, questions, insights about this approach? I have to say that I kind of fell into the bad boy approach by mistake, but it still worked fenomenally. I was at this party outdoors last summer and there was a hot girl sitting at the end of one of the tables. Next to her there was an ashtray so I thought I would go over there and get a better look at her while putting out my cigarette. I was standing like a foot away from her and looked away as I put my cigarette out, when I looked down at the table I had put my cigarette out on the tablecloth by accident, the girl looked chocked. But instead of apologizing or acting like I was ashamed, I just looked her in the eye and walked away. After that it was a done deal. She followed me around and added me on Facebook the next day. I cat-stringed her for a couple of months and I'm currently dating her. She's a 8/9.

Author:	silverito [ Mon Jan 26, 2009 5:16 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: I never really thought myself of a bad boy but I fullfill all these standarts. Especially the dark side Hehe, I fullfill everything BUT the dark side. I am a good person but could be called bad boy when playing/talking with chicks. It works, what can I say

Author:	Dllx [ Mon Jan 26, 2009 11:22 pm ]
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Quote: well, bad boy involves a lot of push, I think we need to pull more. Like you said, you only really open up to girls that you trust, and that's a good thing. Screen them, are they worthy enough? Yes totally agree, but I guess Im back at pulling maybe I come off as needy.. Sometimes I think that be open to generally every girl would be better or maybe easier for game. To silverito man, u can fix that. Start listening to weird music and watching weird movies. Be carefull though too weird makes u a weirdo heah Btw I think of myself as a good person too, and positive.I worked for that.

Author:	backdoor man [ Tue Jan 27, 2009 12:01 am ]
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Quote: Quote: I never really thought myself of a bad boy but I fullfill all these standarts. Especially the dark side Hehe, I fullfill everything BUT the dark side. I am a good person but could be called bad boy when playing/talking with chicks. It works, what can I say Haha don't sweat it man, when I say "dark side", I don't mean that you gotta be a bad person lol. I'm sure your a stand up guy, and I pride myself in being one as well. I hope all the PUAs on this forum are good guys at heart because thats the only way to live. The dark side I speak of is hard to explain. On the surface, it's having a penchant for mischief, being fearless, pushing the limits (where possible) and being daring. The deeper aspects are whats important though. I think it's safe to say we all have somewhat of a dark side. Think of the ying yang, there must be black to counter the white, or else there is no white. Embracing your dark side means stirring things up a little. How often I've seen guys with no dark side get walked all over by women, who obviously have their own dark side. You have to be real, and at times, dramatic and serious about life. Are you happy with the way the world works? Politics, war? Are you happy that millions suffer everyday while a few greedy bastards control the world? These are the kind of things to think about to realize your dark side. It's kind of a superhero thing. Think of any hero, in any good movie or book, and tell me he doesn't have a dark side. Now realize this, and at the same time you will realize that this doesn't make him a bad person. It makes him able to deal with evil. It makes him a man.

Author:	Solomon II [ Tue Jan 27, 2009 4:51 am ]
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It's interesting how nobody has picked up on this. One of the biggest pros of being up front and self assured is that you don't give a shit about the cons. Now that's something to think about.

Author:	sheeshkabab [ Tue Jan 27, 2009 5:32 am ]
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the problem with bad boy attitude. some time in the future you will let your guard down and she will see you for who you really are .... know waht i mean

Author:	Solomon II [ Tue Jan 27, 2009 7:24 am ]
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Quote: the problem with bad boy attitude. some time in the future you will let your guard down and she will see you for who you really are .... know waht i mean That's not a problem with the attitude itself, this issue only affects posers - people who don't know who they really are. You're not supposed to pretend to have an attitude, you adopt it as part of your being. You learn and grow over time; your attitude will change naturally with experience.

Author:	Volturi [ Wed Jan 28, 2009 7:44 am ]
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Quote: the problem with bad boy attitude. some time in the future you will let your guard down and she will see you for who you really are .... know waht i mean I know just what you mean, the girl I started out as a bad boy for now calls me a mamas boy. But she just knows that I'm being good to her, she still thinks I have a potential bad boy in me that can show itself at any given time.

Author:	pathetic_lova [ Wed Jan 28, 2009 11:26 am ]
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Its funny that I always felt like this.. I have a kinda dual personality bad and good.. i saw a few james dean videos and subcontuously started imitating him.. but i would get too introverted sometimes and felt like having a huge ego

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Author:	AltaiDuckq [ Wed Jan 28, 2009 1:27 pm ]
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Risk of bad boy attitude is the tendency of pushing it too far, being too much of bad boy can scare away people, like they become scared of being rejected or so. I dunno, it's like a virus to me, once you really start acting like the bad boy (when it's not fake but it's a part of your personnality), you can let it take you completely over. It's easy to do be like that, you just need the balls, maybe the looks, the right attitude (it has to be real to impress) and that"s all i guess, you need no game or whatsoever. I think it also depends on where you live because I know at some places/regions girls really prefer the bad boy attitude than in other places, at some places some girls will almost think of you as a holy person and at other places they will see you as a loser. I dunno, to me I know it's a dangerous attitude in which I better don't go too far (talking from experience :p ). I also have like a dual personnality and it's always dangerous to let one side take me over completely, better try to mix it up a bit.