PUA Forum :: 4th date no affection

Is it normal to go on 4 dates with a girl that seems uncomfortable with any sort of affection?

Is it normal to go on 4 dates with a girl that seems uncomfortable with any sort of affection? I've tried kissing her about three times (once on first and second date, and twice last night) and she seems very uncomfortable. Last night she came over to watch a movie, and she would sit on the far side of the couch away from me, and feel like she won't get "close" to me. Eventually I worked my way closer and we made out for a minute but she didn't really seem into it...Tried to hold her hand, again didn't seem into it so I totally backed off her for the rest of the night. End of the night when I tried giving her a kiss she turned her cheek (big fail)...she does seem very shy so maybe that's the issue...she's treating me no more than like a friend though-shows me no interest in person.

She's back to texting me today, but this is kind of blowing my mind a bit. We are both in our late 20s. Am I overthinking it? Should I bring it up with her? Is it even worth a 5th date?

How are you doing with other women? Basically, I'm asking is do you have other women in your life that is willing to return affection and not just into this one because she's the one willing to spend time with you?

Quote:

You need to answer the above queries asked by JackZero.

Normally no, I don't have issues that's why I'm baffled.

changing someone is very hard work

Is it normal to go on 4 dates with a girl that seems uncomfortable with any sort of affection?

Quote:

Is it normal to go on 4 dates with a girl that seems uncomfortable with any sort of affection?

No, it's not normal. There is something wrong.

Author:	Mjm1014 [ Sat Feb 25, 2017 4:28 pm ]
Post subject:	4th date no affection
Is it normal to go on 4 dates with a girl that seems uncomfortable with any sort of affection? I've tried kissing her about three times (once on first and second date, and twice last night) and she seems very uncomfortable. Last night she came over to watch a movie, and she would sit on the far side of the couch away from me, and feel like she won't get "close" to me. Eventually I worked my way closer and we made out for a minute but she didn't really seem into it...Tried to hold her hand, again didn't seem into it so I totally backed off her for the rest of the night. End of the night when I tried giving her a kiss she turned her cheek (big fail)...she does seem very shy so maybe that's the issue...she's treating me no more than like a friend though-shows me no interest in person. She's back to texting me today, but this is kind of blowing my mind a bit. We are both in our late 20s. Am I overthinking it? Should I bring it up with her? Is it even worth a 5th date?

Author:	Khatib_Imron [ Sat Feb 25, 2017 4:40 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: 4th date no affection
Quote: Is it normal to go on 4 dates with a girl that seems uncomfortable with any sort of affection? No, it's not normal. There is something wrong.

Author:	JackZero [ Sat Feb 25, 2017 5:18 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: 4th date no affection
Quote: Is it normal to go on 4 dates with a girl that seems uncomfortable with any sort of affection? I've tried kissing her about three times (once on first and second date, and twice last night) and she seems very uncomfortable. Last night she came over to watch a movie, and she would sit on the far side of the couch away from me, and feel like she won't get "close" to me. Eventually I worked my way closer and we made out for a minute but she didn't really seem into it...Tried to hold her hand, again didn't seem into it so I totally backed off her for the rest of the night. End of the night when I tried giving her a kiss she turned her cheek (big fail)...she does seem very shy so maybe that's the issue...she's treating me no more than like a friend though-shows me no interest in person. She's back to texting me today, but this is kind of blowing my mind a bit. We are both in our late 20s. Am I overthinking it? Should I bring it up with her? Is it even worth a 5th date? How are you doing with other women? Basically, I'm asking is do you have other women in your life that is willing to return affection and not just into this one because she's the one willing to spend time with you?

Author:	Khatib_Imron [ Sat Feb 25, 2017 5:38 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: 4th date no affection
Quote: How are you doing with other women? Basically, I'm asking is do you have other women in your life that is willing to return affection and not just into this one because she's the one willing to spend time with you? You need to answer the above queries asked by JackZero.

Author:	Mjm1014 [ Sat Feb 25, 2017 5:47 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: 4th date no affection
Quote: Quote: How are you doing with other women? Basically, I'm asking is do you have other women in your life that is willing to return affection and not just into this one because she's the one willing to spend time with you? You need to answer the above queries asked by JackZero. Normally no, I don't have issues that's why I'm baffled.

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Author:	JackZero [ Sat Feb 25, 2017 6:03 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: 4th date no affection
Quote: Normally no, I don't have issues that's why I'm baffled. I'm going to take this as you saying that you normally don't have this problem as opposed to not having other women in your life. You can only do so much. You've tried on multiple occasions and the girl hasn't returned the affection that you've shown her. It doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. It doesn't mean the girl doesn't like you. Just because she's shy doesn't give her the excuse to not show you any affection. There are lots of shy girls that will give you the best sex you've ever had. Sometimes you just have to let things go and say that things didn't work out.

Author:	masterm1ne [ Sat Feb 25, 2017 7:22 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: 4th date no affection
This all depends on the direction you want to take: You have to realize everyone is different, and some girls have issues with things like intimacy for whatever reason. I just read a post on another forum where women that have been abused have issues with intimacy. It's likely got nothing to do with you and is coming from somewhere in her subconscious where she is not comfortable. Maybe you can try asking her about it? Either way, you either ditch her because she is not meeting your needs or you continue in hopes she will open up later. Mind you, changing someone is very hard work, and requires your time, patience and even then might not work. Your pick!

Author:	JackZero [ Sat Feb 25, 2017 7:27 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: 4th date no affection
Quote: changing someone is very hard work

Author:	Arch Stanton [ Sat Feb 25, 2017 8:36 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: 4th date no affection
Quote: Is it normal to go on 4 dates with a girl that seems uncomfortable with any sort of affection? It's abnormal. This is one of those moments where you have to realize you are the prize, and act accordingly. No longer contact this girl. You're a catch, and you deserve a woman who wants to be warm and affectionate with you.

Author:	Mjm1014 [ Mon Feb 27, 2017 2:36 am ]
Post subject:	Re: 4th date no affection
Thanks everyone for the responses. To be honest, I'm not even sure why I posted this question because I felt like I knew the answer...today I'm not even feeling anything towards the girl-her own doing...onto the next. Thanks again.

Author:	Arch Stanton [ Mon Feb 27, 2017 3:22 am ]
Post subject:	Re: 4th date no affection
No problem. And the funny thing about "pulling back" is that it will often fix this kind of situation. More often than not, the best move a man can make with a girl is none at all.

Author:	xplosiv [ Wed Mar 08, 2017 10:49 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: 4th date no affection
Most women will only continue to go on dates if they 1. like you or 2. need something. It seems like she is using you for a free meal. I have never known a woman to want to take things slow without saying it out right on the 1st or 2nd date.

Author:	The_Professor [ Sat Apr 15, 2017 6:38 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: 4th date no affection
Quote: Quote: Is it normal to go on 4 dates with a girl that seems uncomfortable with any sort of affection? No, it's not normal. There is something wrong. 3 strikes you're out. If you do not have sex in 3 dates or less then it usually is not going to happen. The exception are very conservative women with religious hangups.

Author:	puaninja [ Mon May 01, 2017 4:37 am ]
Post subject:	Re: 4th date no affection
So what? Some nuts are harder to crack. They don't always just fall over with their legs up in the air after date number three. You might have to actually put in some extra effort once in a while. I know, god forbid. When traditional measure don't work, mix it up a bit. Do non-sexual physical escalation. That way she gets used to you within her personal space without associating it with sex and her reactive barrier to it. Give her a hand massage or something. Just ease off the sexual escalation if its not working. When the square peg won't go in the round hole, hitting it a fifth time doesn't make it fit any better.

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Author:	TheLoveDr [ Fri Jun 02, 2017 10:42 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: 4th date no affection
Yeah I hate when bitches pull this shit too. When this happens, what I do is be authentic. I call her out. "Hey, you've been texting me a bunch, it seems that you like me, you know I want you, why the hell haven't we fucked yet? Why are you acting like this?" etc. Just fucking lay it out there. If you've been on 4 dates and you still haven't fucked... that's like 4 years for me now. You are entitled to call her out. And a lot of times, women will open up and tell you what's going on. Maybe she just got out of a bad relationship, etc. You tell her not to compare him and you. Just get the issue out in the open so you can talk about it at least. And if that doesn't work or she isn't really open to telling you what's going on, move on. But I just call things out because trying to read woman's mind is damn near impossible. PM if you have any more questions. GL.