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Over 600+ approaches = Zero Dates
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Author:  emsjvh [ Tue Sep 30, 2014 2:39 pm ]
Post subject:  Over 600+ approaches = Zero Dates
Greetings,

I've been doing pick up for approximately 6 months now (direct daygame).

Approach 1-600: Routine based direct game. Shit was great for showing off and getting numbers easily however I never got a date from it.

Approach 600+: Natural direct game. I was able to connect easily and my interactions improved immensely. I even got a few girls to verbally agree to go on a date before hand however it still turned into a flake.


What am I doing wrong?


The only "routine" I use in my approaches is:
1. Smiling with eyes wide open.
2. Talking Slowly.
3. Focus on connecting (passions).
4. Make assumptions.
5. Kino.
Author:  GamesSN [ Tue Sep 30, 2014 2:56 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Over 600+ approaches = Zero Dates
I'm at a loss for words. Wow dude... 600 approaches? Cold approaches, right? Is this day game or night game? Shit, either way that's just crazy. Have you had any luck with these women like instant dates or making out with them there and then?

If i'm direct I just straight out tell a girl she's really cute, give her a big smile and check her out. If she's into it and her face lights up then I just ask her simple shit like where she's from. If she's into me i'll just tell her to kiss me and go from there.

How does your interaction usually go?
Author:  emsjvh [ Tue Sep 30, 2014 3:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Over 600+ approaches = Zero Dates
Quote:
I'm at a loss for words. Wow dude... 600 approaches? Cold approaches, right? Is this day game or night game? Shit, either way that's just crazy. Have you had any luck with these women like instant dates or making out with them there and then?

If i'm direct I just straight out tell a girl she's really cute, give her a big smile and check her out. If she's into it and her face lights up then I just ask her simple shit like where she's from. If she's into me i'll just tell her to kiss me and go from there.

How does your interaction usually go?
Direct game only.

Me: "Excuse me" (usually I run up to her)
Me: "You're gorgeous and I just had to say hi" (I try to give specific compliments if possible)
Her: "thank you (smiles)"
Me: "My name is SUPER LONG NAME you're probably not going to remember the rest so we'll stick with FIRSTNAME for now"
Me: "What is your name?"
Her: "name"(Handshake) [I'll keep holding her hand throughout the conversation unless she pulls away]

Then from there I'll make a few assumptions about where she is from and find out a few things about her.
I mainly focus on her passions and determining whether or not I really like her. I also let her know a bit about me (my passions, interests, what I'm currently studying,etc..).

A main question I ask is : "Assume money was not a problem for you what would you do with your life?"

Depending on her response I'll know whether I'd get along with her or not.

This is mostly daygame. I've done night game but I don't enjoy it.
Author:  Hunter_Foxe [ Tue Sep 30, 2014 4:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Over 600+ approaches = Zero Dates
I imagine you are giving off creepy, needy or uncertain vibes with your body language.

Practise your opens in the mirror. Even better, film it on your phone and analyse it critically. Mystery used to do this.

I also imagine you arent building up enough comfort. Youre probably too nervous. You need to be relaxed, loose and almost quite boring during the day. You are probably doing to much push and not enough pull. Drop her some bait when you talk about yourself, then wait til she bites before you reel her in.
Author:  southern_gentlemangq [ Tue Sep 30, 2014 5:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Over 600+ approaches = Zero Dates
i don't like compliments such as you're beautiful or anything like that...tooo generic

instead find something ABOUT HER that sparks your interest, mainly something that'll genuinely make her say "thank you" (remember even ugly girls hear that they're beautiful all the time, that's why few girls believe it)

this MIGHT hurt but it might help.....judging from what you're saying, you seem like that "creepy desperate guy" and girls pick up on body language and tones of voice waaaaay easier than we do.....you probably seem nervous or scared (even if you're not) and probably lack confidence because you can't get a date (which is easy for girls to notice) either way it goes there is SOMETHING wrong

also you might be under pursuing or over-pursuing a date with them...meaning you're either not asking at all or asking to much or too strongly
Author:  emsjvh [ Tue Sep 30, 2014 5:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Over 600+ approaches = Zero Dates
Alright suggestions so far:

1. Create a more specific opener.
2. Record body language.
3. Record tone of voice.



Also whenever I end conversations and get their numbers alot of the time they seem very "upset" (afterward) as if I should spend more time talking to them.

I don't think I'm creeping them out since I've bumped into girls I've approached before and they were very friendly with me (some would sit down next to me and talk to me) [I don't try asking these girls out again since I get flaked on with them].
Author:  Hunter_Foxe [ Tue Sep 30, 2014 6:26 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Over 600+ approaches = Zero Dates
How long are staying in set before getting the number?
Author:  emsjvh [ Tue Sep 30, 2014 7:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Over 600+ approaches = Zero Dates
Quote:
How long are staying in set before getting the number?
If possible 10 minutes to 15 mins.

However most of the time sets are going to class so 3-5 minutes (Daygaming on campus).

Should I invest more time?
Author:  southern_gentlemangq [ Tue Sep 30, 2014 7:42 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Over 600+ approaches = Zero Dates
maybe all 600 girls have bf's and are the most faithful girls in the world...but honestly maybe you gie off that "friend" vibe, not that "hmmm i want to fuck him" vibe, which is another thing about body language and tone of voice.......

think of it like this, alot of girls work, they usually have coworkers who they spend long hours of the day with, some of which are "attractive or very attractive guys" the girls might even find them irresistible but the dudes body langue or tone of voice might give off a friendly vibe which turn the girl completely off....i've seen it alot lol
Author:  Mastermind9000 [ Tue Sep 30, 2014 7:50 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Over 600+ approaches = Zero Dates
Hey, don't feel bad about needing more practice than others. That's the point really. I was such a total social retard that I had to do that many approaches before I could even get the guts to go for numbers. No shit. Now I've had some hook-up, and get lots of mostly flaky numbers. Progress is hard, but keep at it. What I've found is that since I sucked so hard at EVERYTHING related to woman, I just practice and practice and practice more, until I get to be like a jedi at one step, opening for example, then that gives me the confidence to breeze through that and into the next step where I need practice and can work on that until I get good. Eg: I was always very sexually anxious, so that interfered with my confidence when opening. So I opened and opened and opened until I was the easiest thing in the world and people thought I was the most socially skilled person they ever met. Then, I would need to practice my conversation.... again and again. Then my kino (which is finally where I can work on my sexual confidence).... again and again and again...

I'm sure you don't have as far to come as I have, so don't worry. It will come. But like someone said, you could very likely have a nervous, creepy or needy vibe. I've come out of that phase. THANKFULLY! The only way I knew to get rid of it was by talking to more girls. Sorry ladies, but I had my retarded brain to rewire! hahaha...

If a creepy vibe is the problem, then some tips. Don't look at girls you won't approach. Don't talk to girls who don't want to talk to you. Don't stay alone if you are in night game. And I know you don't like night game, but it is good for you. That is where you will get to touch and likely fuck a chick so that your neediness (if that is a problem for you) will be lessened through experience.

Again, yes you are likely doing something(s) very wrong, but don't be hard on yourself. This is hard shit to learn and when you do you will be confident, proud of yourself, and better with girls than anyone else you have ever met. Remember that and have fun with it.
Author:  no-way [ Wed Oct 01, 2014 12:46 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Over 600+ approaches = Zero Dates
It sounds to me that the time-frame between first meeting them and going on a first date is too big. WHen do you usually suggest the date?
Giving too much time will make your approach be less efficient. People are full of everyday tasks so your date will not be so appealing much more days after your first meeting

For example; Suggesting a date immediately after you feel they successfully shown enough IOIs will considerably increase the chance that they will go on a QUICK date with you (remember, put time pressure on yourself. Say a 5-10 minutes coffee before you have to go to that super important meeting ;-) )
Author:  emsjvh [ Wed Oct 01, 2014 5:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Over 600+ approaches = Zero Dates
Quote:
Hey, don't feel bad about needing more practice than others. That's the point really. I was such a total social retard that I had to do that many approaches before I could even get the guts to go for numbers. No shit. Now I've had some hook-up, and get lots of mostly flaky numbers. Progress is hard, but keep at it. What I've found is that since I sucked so hard at EVERYTHING related to woman, I just practice and practice and practice more, until I get to be like a jedi at one step, opening for example, then that gives me the confidence to breeze through that and into the next step where I need practice and can work on that until I get good. Eg: I was always very sexually anxious, so that interfered with my confidence when opening. So I opened and opened and opened until I was the easiest thing in the world and people thought I was the most socially skilled person they ever met. Then, I would need to practice my conversation.... again and again. Then my kino (which is finally where I can work on my sexual confidence).... again and again and again...

I'm sure you don't have as far to come as I have, so don't worry. It will come. But like someone said, you could very likely have a nervous, creepy or needy vibe. I've come out of that phase. THANKFULLY! The only way I knew to get rid of it was by talking to more girls. Sorry ladies, but I had my retarded brain to rewire! hahaha...

If a creepy vibe is the problem, then some tips. Don't look at girls you won't approach. Don't talk to girls who don't want to talk to you. Don't stay alone if you are in night game. And I know you don't like night game, but it is good for you. That is where you will get to touch and likely fuck a chick so that your neediness (if that is a problem for you) will be lessened through experience.

Again, yes you are likely doing something(s) very wrong, but don't be hard on yourself. This is hard shit to learn and when you do you will be confident, proud of yourself, and better with girls than anyone else you have ever met. Remember that and have fun with it.
How do you determine if you have a creepy vibe?

I'm going to record some infield later today and post for feedback.
Author:  emsjvh [ Wed Oct 01, 2014 5:35 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Over 600+ approaches = Zero Dates
Quote:
It sounds to me that the time-frame between first meeting them and going on a first date is too big. WHen do you usually suggest the date?
Giving too much time will make your approach be less efficient. People are full of everyday tasks so your date will not be so appealing much more days after your first meeting

For example; Suggesting a date immediately after you feel they successfully shown enough IOIs will considerably increase the chance that they will go on a QUICK date with you (remember, put time pressure on yourself. Say a 5-10 minutes coffee before you have to go to that super important meeting ;-) )

I wait 1-2 days and then text them about 3-6 times. Afterward I suggest for the date.

I'm beginning to believe girls might actually be that busy. In Miami every girl I've talked too is working 1-2 jobs full time and going to school full time (cost of living is extremely high).

So should I suggest for the date the same day of getting her number?
Author:  Mastermind9000 [ Wed Oct 01, 2014 5:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Over 600+ approaches = Zero Dates
Quote:
Quote:
Hey, don't feel bad about needing more practice than others. That's the point really. I was such a total social retard that I had to do that many approaches before I could even get the guts to go for numbers. No shit. Now I've had some hook-up, and get lots of mostly flaky numbers. Progress is hard, but keep at it. What I've found is that since I sucked so hard at EVERYTHING related to woman, I just practice and practice and practice more, until I get to be like a jedi at one step, opening for example, then that gives me the confidence to breeze through that and into the next step where I need practice and can work on that until I get good. Eg: I was always very sexually anxious, so that interfered with my confidence when opening. So I opened and opened and opened until I was the easiest thing in the world and people thought I was the most socially skilled person they ever met. Then, I would need to practice my conversation.... again and again. Then my kino (which is finally where I can work on my sexual confidence).... again and again and again...

I'm sure you don't have as far to come as I have, so don't worry. It will come. But like someone said, you could very likely have a nervous, creepy or needy vibe. I've come out of that phase. THANKFULLY! The only way I knew to get rid of it was by talking to more girls. Sorry ladies, but I had my retarded brain to rewire! hahaha...

If a creepy vibe is the problem, then some tips. Don't look at girls you won't approach. Don't talk to girls who don't want to talk to you. Don't stay alone if you are in night game. And I know you don't like night game, but it is good for you. That is where you will get to touch and likely fuck a chick so that your neediness (if that is a problem for you) will be lessened through experience.

Again, yes you are likely doing something(s) very wrong, but don't be hard on yourself. This is hard shit to learn and when you do you will be confident, proud of yourself, and better with girls than anyone else you have ever met. Remember that and have fun with it.
How do you determine if you have a creepy vibe?

I'm going to record some infield later today and post for feedback.
Honestly, don't know how to detect it. I was creepy as hell man, no joke. I got into pick-up, started to accept that I had a dick but had no social skills to use it effectively. I knew I needed to talk to girls, but when I did it because I wanted to get with them, which IS the right way, I just didn't know how to go about it. I meant well, but would talk to girls who didn't want to talk to me, looking at girls but not smiling, standing nearby but not talking to them. I would get SO SO nervous that it was a worse impediment to vision and calibration than drinking. Shit like that.

creepy = unwanted interest
Author:  southern_gentlemangq [ Wed Oct 01, 2014 2:10 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Over 600+ approaches = Zero Dates
it's alot of ways you can be creepy, the clothes you wear, if you're too excited to talk to them, if you're too nervous to talk to them, if you smile to much, if you don't smile enough,if you stare at a girl tooo long (unless you're some attractive guy with a beautiful smile lmfao) its hard especially nowadays where alot of girls are worried about being raped and looking to get married and stuff, these girls are harder on men, so you have to get your mind right

don't record yourself infield it's too risky for a beginner plus that wouldn't show how your face looks when you do it, its best to have a wing man, somebody who's good at pick up that can watch you in action and tell you what you're doing wrong
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