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Environment & Social Group prevent me keeping state
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=135&t=150549		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Harpwn [ Mon Nov 12, 2012 11:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Environment & Social Group prevent me keeping state
So ive been reading a fair amount on inner game, keeping confidence, maintaining alpha-male state etc but am having a distinct problem with these things.

Firstly I have found that I usually achieve my best results on nights with more alpha-male/Lad-like people, I find it much easier to maintain state when the challenge and social proof is laid out in front of me. Common sense really, environment naturally effects confidence.

My current problem is that my 2 friend groups are neither alpha or lad-like.

My close friends (group 1) have tendencies to very openly show beta behaviour and because of my knowing them so long they expect similar behaviour if not sub-beta from me. Acting overly charismatic or confident is often met with indifference or suspicion.

If I was to sum it up group 1s issues are:
  • 1.Couples in group are very judging of lad-like behaviours, single guys dont challenge them.
    2.Heavily beta behaviour among single men, reinforced by females and banter within the group.
    3.I am not seen as an alpha-male and cannot be seen as such without becoming openly sexually active, as such my advice/challenges hold no power (there is too much evidence that I am heavily sub-beta).
    4.They gain their confidence through heavy drinking.
Quick example: Last week I managed to get a group of guys out without the girls, we were at a large club but everyone decided to sit in the corner. I pushed them to move away from the corner in a very alpha fashion which was met with a group disinterest for a very long time. Conversation was lacking and everyone was drinking heavily, I was trying to squeeze conversation out of people but most were on their phones or looking at girls across the room. 4 girls sat next to us and I managed a bit of cheeky eye contact, unfortunately I didn't have the confidence to talk to them because by this point I had been sat in near silence drinking for about 10 minutes. more girls moved in and out of said seats until eventually I got the guys to move, unfortunately when I told them they had to move and get up they all just moved to another table nearer to the dance floor and stood around it. At one point I turned to one of my friends and said "at midnight I am going to start talking to girls, do you want to wing me?" he said yes somewhat enthusiastically and I waited (10 minutes). At said time I basically gave him a few minutes to approach me and challenge but he never did, he acted as if he'd forgotten and kept drinking.

My coursemates (group 2) is firstly a much smaller group (me and 2-4 others). I am viewed if anything as a comparatively alpha figure but it has not worked well in my favour. One such member is a complete social reject with no common sense or social skill whatsoever, when I revealed my interest in pick-up to him he took this as a reason to make his talking to girls easier by winging me. He repels any chances I get so ive stopped trying with him, unfortunately in the group this is taken as cowardliness and shyness on my part making me look much more beta.

So ye, its hard to say what to take and where to go from all this. I am a university student so breaking into new social circles takes time, I do what I can where I can but I still spend a fair amount of my time with these friends. Educating my friends hasn't worked, I dont talk completely openly about the game but I try to drop situations into conversation every so often. Drunkenness and shyness among friends makes it pretty useless. Ive read a fair bit on natural game and it intrigues me alot, but I dont see how it can work without social proof.

How can I maintain my state of confidence and alpha in such conditions and if possible how can I inspire a more pushy male lad-like attitude among my friends?
Author:  xZEROx [ Tue Nov 13, 2012 12:23 am ]
Post subject: 
1. Stop judging your friends, accept them as they are, accept your social situation for now, trying to change such behaviors will cause you much pain, acceptance - it is what it is.

2. Go out and cold approach, with your friends, meet some puas in your area, or depart from your group on nights out to do so. Cold approach will help you build your social skills massively, and you will not be restricted to girls in your social circle anymore.

3. You cannot just read some game and suddenly become the alpha male in your group, you will have not cultivated the behaviors for the role.
Author:  Harpwn [ Tue Nov 13, 2012 12:55 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
2. Go out and cold approach, with your friends, meet some puas in your area, or depart from your group on nights out to do so. Cold approach will help you build your social skills massively, and you will not be restricted to girls in your social circle anymore.
I do cold approach but only in said situations where my group doesn't destroy my state, I never talk to girls in my group (in that way). I do sometimes wander from or 'lose' my group and it on occasion can help, I don't like relying on it though.
Author:  daisy [ Tue Nov 13, 2012 8:58 am ]
Post subject: 
Find your local Lair and hang out with those boys. Its a positive environment for what you want to accomplish.
Author:  Thedutchone [ Tue Nov 13, 2012 10:28 am ]
Post subject: 
If your mates are any fun when they get a bit louser you might want to try this ;
Walk to a group, introduce yourself- say you are out with a bunch of guys, point to them sitting at the chair and want to get the party started, however they are a bit without confidence. Ask the girls to join you guys and play a drinking game or whatever.. challange them! Worst that can happen is an answer like , please creep go away. Usually girls who sit next to the bar and arn't really into much conversation with eachother want to be challanged, entertained ect..
You should do that.
Author:  Harpwn [ Tue Nov 13, 2012 10:35 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Find your local Lair and hang out with those boys. Its a positive environment for what you want to accomplish.
I dont think Plymouth has a local lair.
Author:  donttakemywordasthetruth [ Wed Nov 14, 2012 11:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
How can I maintain my state of confidence and alpha in such conditions and if possible how can I inspire a more pushy male lad-like attitude among my friends?
I have a similar problem but even worse is that they take cockblocking as some kind of sport when drunk.

What I am trying to do is make an example of me, how I enjoy myself in being free, not only in a close group but the world. They tell me im awkward...
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