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Looks do matter?
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Author:  GoodGuyGreg [ Mon Sep 10, 2012 3:53 am ]
Post subject:  Looks do matter?
I have one friend who has a really alpha personality. He gets with loads of girls. But he also happens to be a really good looking guy. I've heard girls talk about how they want him before they've even spoken to him, meaning it doesn't matter if he's alpha or not- girls just want him from simply looking at him. And of course you'll have an alpha personality if you've been getting with girls without trying since you knew what hooking up was.

Not really sure what I'm getting at here. I guess it's just frustrating to know that some people get so easily what the rest of us have to bust our asses to even come close to. Sure, you can do things to enhance your physical appearance- go to the gym, wear nice clothes (if you can afford it. I can't. This particular friend is rich, and has nice things), etc., but you can't change your face into one that girls go crazy about just from looking at.

Even if I acquire MPUA skills, I still have to go to the effort of picking up girls. As long as I don't have model good looks (which you are either born with or you're not) I won't have girls throwing themselves at me left and right.

This is just what's on my mind right now.

Thoughts/comments appreciated.
Author:  Ilustrado [ Mon Sep 10, 2012 5:11 am ]
Post subject: 
As much as people want to deny it, appearance is quite a big factor when it comes to attracting women. Your friend will also be attracting girls through pre-selection; he already has girls in his life, so other girls see him as higher value.

The same way people are born with an aptitude for art, or maths, or anything else, some people are born with the natural ability to attract the opposite sex - whether this is through their appearance or how they act (both in your friends case). That doesn't mean that you can't be just as successful as he is, you've just got to work a bit harder to get there.

If you look at Style before he got into pickup, he was far from physically attractive, and he still isn't "model material", but that doesn't matter at all. I have a friend who isn't particularly attractive at all, but he knows all the right things to say to girls so he gets far more of them than some of my other friends who are "good looking".

The truth is, being naturally attractive is very helpful, but ISN'T necessary. So long as you're not ridiculously unattractive you just have to acquire the right skills to build attraction. If you haven't already, read some of Mystery's stuff, he talks a lot about Social Proof which increases one's perceived value. David DeAngelo's material delves into character traits that women find attractive, such as the "cocky-funny" persona.

Bottom line is, you've got to work with what you've got. The most you can do is be the best you can be. Don't let limiting beliefs like "I'm not attractive enough" stop you from succeeding. Women can sense a lack of confidence and, as a rule of thumb, that's unattractive, so just be confident in yourself.
Author:  Natural at college [ Mon Sep 10, 2012 5:31 am ]
Post subject: 
Looks definitely do matter. I have a friend that is very attractive and well built. However, he is very shy so he doesn't meet very many girls, but the ones he does meet he usually pulls. I have other friends that are still attractive and have great social skills and excellent social proof. Both these guys are dating very hot girls. I have another friend that isn't very attractive but literally does not give a fuck. His girlfriend is also very hot, maybe even hotter than the other two.

It goes to show that while physical traits do play a part in gaming, it is NOT THE ONLY THING. If you are considered average looking, there is no excuse why you shouldn't be able to pull a 10. If you know what you are doing then its just up to you to approach them and show them that you are a lot more attractive than first glance. If you don't approach, they will think you are unattractive because thats all the women have to go by, your looks. SHOW THEM YOU HAVE MORE TO YOU! And you will be on par with every attractive guy out there.
Author:  Dellsonic [ Mon Sep 10, 2012 8:04 am ]
Post subject: 
I think the same thing each day. I wonder if looks do really matter. I have always thought that they do play a role but they are not greatly important if your personality is awesome.
I must say I am/was a pretty attractive man, but I got acne which just absolutely destroyed my confidence and somewhat of my looks, hence why I have started trying to build my confidence up by getting into PU. It sucks to know where I could be if it wasnt so bad.
Like in school almost every attractive girl in my year had a crush on me sometime through the years. Then when I got out it got worse I finally got on meds to fix the problem. Now the problem is solved, just scarring.
But enough about me and the suckful times. Im 20. I have a long life left to live, and if I start learning this stuff now, who knows how much it can improve me for the future. :)
Author:  Tr@veler [ Mon Sep 10, 2012 8:29 am ]
Post subject: 
Looks don't matter. Looks help.

In the end, working for something and succeeding is much more rewarding than getting something for free. Your friend is definitely enjoying his lifestyle, but you can at the end of the day be proud about having worked hard for the same achievement. In some ways, you deserve it more than he does.
Author:  puaninja [ Mon Sep 10, 2012 12:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
What if looks did matter? What if that was the number one thing women are looking for? You can't change your facial features so either you have what women find attractive or you don't. If you don't have looks on your side, then you are going to have to make up for it in other departments. That's just how it is. It'd be nice if we all had cute dimples and could attract women without even talking to them, but most guys don't have that luxury.
Author:  Paul_T [ Mon Sep 10, 2012 1:51 pm ]
Post subject: 
Sure looks matter. But they aren't much of a big deal. Average looks or even uglyness can be overcome by making yourself awesome.
Quote:
still have to go to the effort of picking up girls. As long as I don't have model good looks (which you are either born with or you're not) I won't have girls throwing themselves at me left and right.
Actually, you can. When you get good at this, you will eventually hit a point which I call the "Perfect Storm" - this is when you have made yourself an awesome guy, and have a load of social proof/preselection in a venue. You will literally get girls throwing themselves at you. Now make no mistake, they won't always be the girls you want, which causes all kinds of fun in itself... but it does happen.

But the more important thing here, is that you are upset that you have to be the one to do the initial work with a hot woman. You are moaning about something that defines your masculinity. What are the personality traits associated with masculinity? Confidence, Status, Going after what you want, Boldness, Action in the face of fear, Stepping up. You are moaning that you have to be the one to step up, walk 3 meters to where she is standing, and start a conversation. This isn't something to get upset about, this is something to be happy about. This means that you are the one with the power. You can choose to go after her or not. You have the choice. Whether you want to view that you have the choice - and that you have the responsibility for your own life - as a good thing or a bad thing, is up to you.

I'm sure you're already a good guy. You've probably got a great personality, good friends, etc. But from reading this, I suspect the problem in your dating life at the moment is you are lacking those core masculine traits. Looks don't matter, as they only really make a difference in how many girls approach you. For me, there came a point where my perspective shifted, and I became happy to be shot down 9 times just to hook up with a really hot girl as number 10. It's that resilience, that never giving up, that walking away from every rejection with a grin and a chuckle that gets me with the hottest girl. And honestly, I've never been happier.
Author:  Czech. [ Mon Sep 10, 2012 4:55 pm ]
Post subject: 
I know plenty of good-looking guys that don't ever get girls. It's because they're too timid to make a move.

Also, keep in mind that there's a difference between "attractive" and "Brad Pitt." Just like guys, sometimes girls will settle for an 8 with a good personality.

Work hard at the gym, build a lifestyle you love, and the women will follow.
Author:  AlphaConfidence [ Tue Sep 18, 2012 5:54 am ]
Post subject: 
See my alpha male transformation post. Should clear things up.

Cheers, Confidence.
Author:  Libertine Aim [ Tue Sep 18, 2012 11:53 am ]
Post subject: 
I'm not the best looking guy - I'm decent, and I dress well, but I'm not the kinda guy that can be standing in the bar alone and girls come approaching me.
And I have a fine time with that, because it gives me the chance to take control of the things happening to and around me.
When I'm out, I like having a female friend with me.
My perfect set to go out with is a male friend and a female friend.
If you stay dominant with the male and have fun with the girl you will give the clearest alpha-signal to the whole bar.
Try to go to a bar with a female friend if you have one.
It's crazy how such a small thing can change the evenening pick-up wise.
Girls seems to notice you alot more and are more likely to come talk to you etc..
I've thought alot about it, and I've comed to the conclusion that your personality get pre-selected because they can see that you are natural around females and used to female company.
Beautiful men send the signal because they are beautiful. The girls will automaticly think he is used to female company because of his beauty, and therefore he is pre-selected.
Author:  Hunter_Foxe [ Tue Sep 18, 2012 11:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
If you are anywhere between extremely handsome to average, then no, looks don't matter. The social proof your friend is getting from all the girls talking about him does so much more for him than his looks.

I'd say the only way looks work against you are if you are either extremely short (i.e. 5'ft or shorter) or you have extremely bad skin or deformities. These are such a biological turn off that you'd have to be either an mPUA or a celebrity to get HB10s.

I personally think height is the most unfair physical advantage, but it makes it even more satisfying when an HB chooses me over a taller rival (see MetaGame).

.
Author:  puaninja [ Wed Sep 19, 2012 12:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Height don't mean nothing, unless like you said, you are exceedingly short. I'm really tall, and I've messaged tons of girls on online dating sites, even ones who say "NO SHORT MEN" in their profiles, yet they don't even bother responding back to me. Same thing happens in person. You'd think women would respond better to tall men, but unless you have the other attributes they are looking for, they don't seem to be attracted to height alone.

Also, being fat is one of the worst things you can be in a woman's eyes. I asked this girl from speed dating if she liked any of the other guys and she said no because they were all fat. I only recall seeing one pudgy guy there, yet this girl wrote everyone off as fat and not worth her time. There were a lot of short guys there too. You can't control height, but you CAN control your weight.
Author:  antics31 [ Thu Sep 20, 2012 12:50 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Looks do matter?
Quote:
I have one friend who has a really alpha personality. He gets with loads of girls. But he also happens to be a really good looking guy. I've heard girls talk about how they want him before they've even spoken to him, meaning it doesn't matter if he's alpha or not- girls just want him from simply looking at him. And of course you'll have an alpha personality if you've been getting with girls without trying since you knew what hooking up was.

Not really sure what I'm getting at here. I guess it's just frustrating to know that some people get so easily what the rest of us have to bust our asses to even come close to. Sure, you can do things to enhance your physical appearance- go to the gym, wear nice clothes (if you can afford it. I can't. This particular friend is rich, and has nice things), etc., but you can't change your face into one that girls go crazy about just from looking at.

Even if I acquire MPUA skills, I still have to go to the effort of picking up girls. As long as I don't have model good looks (which you are either born with or you're not) I won't have girls throwing themselves at me left and right.

This is just what's on my mind right now.

Thoughts/comments appreciated.
I don't want to be politically correct and write looks do not matter. Looks, like wealth, does make life easier but they don't make life.

Why not use this as a learning lesson in friendly competition? Playing the cards you are dealt how can you out hand your friend?
Author:  Aspiring [ Wed Sep 26, 2012 6:54 am ]
Post subject: 
I've been thinking a similar thing actually. Girls definitely find me physically attractive and I've been learning more and more about what makes a man more attractive to women's logic and emotions.
I found that growing up I would often hear "so and so thinks you're cute" or "I used to have the biggest crush on you" with the feeling the girl admitting this to me still has that crush.
Now living in the adult world it seems much more complicated. As men we're expected to know how things work. No mature woman is going to come up to me and say "ive seen you around and i have the biggest crush on you", even if she did I'd be freaked out!!
At age 19 in college even below average looking guys started to out game me and I told myself "it's okay I'm young I'll learn" but instead I found myself lonely. It was a big change from high school when girls would beg to be my girlfriend simply because I was "hot"
After 2 years of studying and practicing Natural Game I'm back where I was. But this time my physical attractiveness plays a much much smaller role.

Long story short women actually do care about personality... As much as men care about looks! Learn to attract her logically and emotionally - and learn just few physical tips - and you'll have her.
Author:  Wilheim [ Wed Sep 26, 2012 7:42 pm ]
Post subject: 
Saw an explanation from Style that I thought was quite interesting.

Its a points system based on anything that could be considered valuable when attracting a woman and individual bits of game (Looks, humor, maybe even money, ability to escalate etc) . Each category is allowed upto 5 points, and you really should rate yourself on each category out of 5.

He then says to get average girl say maybe you need 10-12 points unto an HB9/10 unto maybe 18-20.

So to keep it relative to the question for even someone who is above average looking (3/5) it won't really be contributing much more to a third of getting the lay with an average woman.

So yes it contributes but probably less than you think.
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