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Why you may be getting rejected / flakey numbers
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Author:  stevejabba [ Sat Jun 23, 2012 7:19 pm ]
Post subject:  Why you may be getting rejected / flakey numbers
Aside from a few technical errors on the way you actually make an approach (which is easily fixed and is pretty inconsequential), there are three related reasons why you may find yourself getting rejected again and again when you approach and they all relate to bad subcommunications. How you feel about yourself will make the difference between a guy she will either reject straight away, or perhaps happily talk to, laugh with, and have a pleasant interaction with – and a guy who she will actually take seriously and want to have sex with.

Note I said how you feel about yourself. How you feel about yourself should always be put in front of any one elses opinion of you. This is why I have said you need to be brutally honest with yourself, with others, and strive to live with integrity – so that you can hold your head high and build your self esteem.

Throughout this book I’ve given you strategies and a roadmap to building a more attractive identity. This takes time, so I will break down here 3 related areas where you may be failing if you are getting rejected consistently, and point out the mindset you need to be adopting to try and turn the ship around.

You are not manly enough – She cannot take you seriously as a man, you do not represent a sexual “threat” – - she could not entertain the notion of sleeping with you. You just don’t seem “manly” enough. Throughout this book I’ve tried to break down all of the characteristics and attributes that you need to build up to become more manly and represent someone she should take more seriously.
Whilst you should attempt to build these characteristics, do not try to fake it, or put on a façade- this leads to the second reason why you may be blown out consistently or not attractive to her:

You are being inauthentic and trying to mask your real true feelings:

This one is key and relates to not being manly enough. When you approach a woman you have to mean it, you have to have intent. Recall the cornerstone characteristic on loving women and desire (I’ve listed this as No1 amongst the cornerstone behaviours). When you approach you should try to remember this, remember the original reason why you approached. When you see her, do you feel an instinctive desire for her? These are the women you should go and talk to. Don’t go for women who you feel nothing for or are ambivalent about when you first set eyes on her. You will be doing both you and her a disservice.

Before approaching, hold onto that desire. Try to clear your mind of buzzing thoughts. Focus only on the attraction you are feeling, in that moment.

Don’t try and put on a façade. This is just a way of masking your real intent and to a woman comes across as weak and not genuine. Don’t try and rationalise anything, and approach with the goal in your mind that you find her attractive and based on the information you have (before approaching) you would love to fuck her. Don’t hide this most basic fact from yourself, don’t excuse it, and don’t be embarrassed about it. It is perfectly natural and you are entitled to feel this way! Revel in it!

Now I am not saying you should be crude, aggressive or pester her. You need to have some social graces but remember this at the back of your mind and go for it. If you let your desire flow through you, and put your focus on her, it will filter through into your behaviour and this is what turns her on, excites her on a primal level. An undercurrent of sexual tension.

I want to point out here that this is under optimum conditions (you have a good state, are feeling positive, horny, etc.) But remember also that it is perfectly ok to be nervous, tired, moody – whatever – as long as you act authentically. I have attracted women by being moody, miserable, angry, anything – because she can see that I am not afraid to show it and it is real….Women actually respond better to authentic behaviour than a guy who doesn’t put himself on the line and has no intent.

You place too much importance initially on her opinion of you and hence try to impress:

This puts pressure on you straight away and to a certain degree it puts pressure on her too. Think of it this way. If you approach a woman and are too caught up in how it will turn out, you will automatically start trying to “convince” her that you are a good bet. On some level it is similar to approaching her like a beggar with an empty cup, except in this case you are asking her not for money but for validation / confirmation that you are attractive. What does this show? That you are not secure in yourself and that you crave the good opinion of a woman to make you feel good about yourself.

It is a form of emotional leeching and a woman’s instinctive response is to get away from you as quickly as possible if you do this!
Of course you want it to go well, and if you are approaching girls you feel an instant attraction to, then you have desire for her. This is actually a good thing to feel. But at the same time, you need to be secure enough in yourself that you will not foist on her the responsibility of making you feel good by showing you that she likes you in return. Think about what a responsibility that is, and how it leeches from the vibe you can build. Remember when you approach a girl, there is really nothing at stake and only something to gain. A man should be centered in himself, with a strong enough sense of self that he doesn’t need a woman to tell him he is worthy or good enough! If you approach from a position of lack or emptiness, it becomes very clear very quickly and she will probably not want to be around you for long.
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