PUA Forum :: To Neg or Not to Neg....

I like the idea of this but I am still weary. I have read some articles and books where some guys dont neg at all, but the first book I read says you have too (The Game / Mystery Method). I really want to work on my day game and I notice that almost all of the guys with day game never neg - or at least from the video's I have seen. Im not saying im an expert but I like the direct approach and just going for it. I used to do this a lot when I was younger. They approach with a compliment almost always. I kind of like this approach. I feel like im just being mean with a neg and that really isnt in my nature. (Probably why I got cheated on so many times....supplicating).

In my opinion, opening with a compliment is lame!

To Neg or Not to Neg....

One of the challenges of opening with a compliment is distinguishing yourself from the 100 other men that have approached the same way. In my opinion, opening with a compliment is lame!

I find if you're going to compliment then you should follow up with a question. I find women tend to object most compliments given to them. If you follow up with a question it allows them to accept it.

Ex:

"The color of that scarf is perfect for you. Where did you find it?"

"You're very outgoing. Do you like to travel?"

Quote:

A compliment should be more like this: "Smooth selection on the neck wrap, the color blue really makes your eyes sparkle." We all think of how we are going to look and a woman puts exceptional effort into her appearance it's nice when someone notices and compliments. It's easy to tell why a woman wears most things, so that it can have personality and accentuate her in some way. A woman will choose colors based off of how it will make her skin tone or eyes look.

She might choose earrings that have certain colors or characteristics she loves about them. Why does it take a woman so long to get ready? They put a lot of effort into how they present themselves and it's very good to be a gentlemen and notice.

A great compliment encourages conversation, a question is helpful but a great compliment will start a conversation. "You're very outgoing ." isn't a compliment worth giving, you want more than that. Any compliment that starts out with "You are..." is probably not going to land on the mark unless you have a solid why to back it up.

The secret to a great compliment is all in the why, a why is very important to a great compliment. Always say why you like it.

Note: Shoes and glasses are my favorite things to compliments lots of thought goes into what you put on your face. Women have lots of shoes for the right occasion so they may have chose them for a reason.

It's important to maintain confident body language, and deliver the message in a way that doesn't put you below her even if you deliver it in a nonthreatening manner. When you deliver it you should act like you always do it and it's no big deal, it shouldn't be, it should be something that is true and genuine so it is easy to deliver with confidence and in a natural way.

I don't NEG on purpose. NEG-ing is like trying to lower womans value.... why lower their value ? why not let they build they value higher so they can be my value ?

Quote:

I don't NEG on purpose. NEG-ing is like trying to lower womans value.... why lower their value ? why not let they build they value higher so they can be my value ?

Your idea of neg is really wrong.
Understand that a neg is just a way of teasing the girl, and it is definitely not a way of lowering their value..
Many people see neg'ing like the opposite of giving compliments and therefor it is not nice at all...
The way i see it is, that you are having plain fun with the girl, it allows for her to tease you back, and in some way it opens up for many things between you and the girl you just met and already having fun with. in general it is a great way to get really personal with a person really fast. And it allows you and the girl to having fun. it shows her that you are a playfull person which in almost every case is a benefit.
And it is a DHV...

Author:	TXkrush [ Tue May 29, 2012 8:17 pm ]
Post subject:	To Neg or Not to Neg....
I like the idea of this but I am still weary. I have read some articles and books where some guys dont neg at all, but the first book I read says you have too (The Game / Mystery Method). I really want to work on my day game and I notice that almost all of the guys with day game never neg - or at least from the video's I have seen. Im not saying im an expert but I like the direct approach and just going for it. I used to do this a lot when I was younger. They approach with a compliment almost always. I kind of like this approach. I feel like im just being mean with a neg and that really isnt in my nature. (Probably why I got cheated on so many times....supplicating).

Author:	JSmooth [ Tue May 29, 2012 9:25 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: To Neg or Not to Neg....
Quote: I like the idea of this but I am still weary. I have read some articles and books where some guys dont neg at all, but the first book I read says you have too (The Game / Mystery Method). I really want to work on my day game and I notice that almost all of the guys with day game never neg - or at least from the video's I have seen. Im not saying im an expert but I like the direct approach and just going for it. I used to do this a lot when I was younger. They approach with a compliment almost always. I kind of like this approach. I feel like im just being mean with a neg and that really isnt in my nature. (Probably why I got cheated on so many times....supplicating). A few points on this. A neg isn't suppose to be an insult so much is it is a back handed compliment. You are using these to "tease" not to be mean so much. There are some negs out there that are just plain mean though so a lot of it is in what you say and how you say it. That being said...Mystery Method and the Game are not the biblical commandments of pickup by any stretch of the imagination. I practiced Mystery Method for years and was very very good at doing it by the book. I also learned that many of his "rules" for getting the girl could be bent or broken too. I won't get into all of them but suffice it to say Negging is not a requirement to get a girl. HOWEVER, I am a firm believer that doing things during the interactions with women to create a push/pull type of attraction such as teasing are good for creating that "chase" within her. Things like giving her a kiss and then maybe hitting her lightly on the arm and calling her a punk. Doing things that create that tension between you are great to use. They could be in the form of negs but they don't have to be. The other idea with Negs was that her S&R value according to Mystery is higher than yours and you have to bring her down a few notches. In my experience with Mystery Method I usually only needed one neg or two in most cases. Some really high and mighty on themselves type of girls I might use 3, then again I usually avoid this type cause they aren't worth it. The whole idea of her value being more than yours is bullshit. No one person is valued higher than another...truly. Okay now that we've gone over what negs are, and what they are used for. Getting back to your ideas. For Day Game direct approaches work very well. Women are in a hurry and doing their errands during the day, or on breaks from work. They may have very REAL time constraints, and the direct approach will work better... They don't have 15 minutes to go over "Who Lies More...." right? Finally, opening with compliments are fine. Now there are a lot of people that do this. The important thing is if you are going to do this you be genuine with what you say and really mean the compliment. Don't just tell her something generic just for the sake of opening her. If you really mean the compliment you are giving her then it works very well. You are on the right track. Don't take everything you read as "THE GOSPEL" and keep asking questions.

Author:	MsNoca [ Wed May 30, 2012 7:06 am ]
Post subject:
One of the challenges of opening with a compliment is distinguishing yourself from the 100 other men that have approached the same way. In my opinion, opening with a compliment is lame!

Author:	AFC AzA [ Wed May 30, 2012 7:41 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: In my opinion, opening with a compliment is lame! In my opinion, opening with compliment is great. Opening with intention (confidence) Giving power to woman (no power= freedom= real power) Quote: To Neg or Not to Neg.... I don't NEG on purpose. NEG-ing is like trying to lower womans value.... why lower their value ? why not let they build they value higher so they can be my value ? thats my inner game

Author:	Hawke91 [ Wed May 30, 2012 3:26 pm ]
Post subject:
Negging should be all spontaneous. I mean yes it is good to have a set of negs but waiting to badger them in is pointless. Much like cocky/funny when you talk to a girl these things come up naturally. Might be something she says might be something she does but its all natural game. F.e. If she says something that can be misinterpreted always use it for your advantage, plus it is something you can't script before. Also there is a fine line between a neg and being a jerk so you gotta know the limits.

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Author:	NikAFC [ Wed May 30, 2012 3:59 pm ]
Post subject:
well i look at it like that. If i wanna game classy girls need negs but If i'm desparate for sex no negs lol maybe little ones but more teasing that negging

Author:	poeticlyskuac [ Thu May 31, 2012 12:32 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: One of the challenges of opening with a compliment is distinguishing yourself from the 100 other men that have approached the same way. In my opinion, opening with a compliment is lame! Depends on the compliment, the delivery (must be stylish and say why), confidence and class of the compliment change the value of it. If a man learns to compliment correctly you come across with charisma, confidence, and you appear more attractive, yes people who compliment are consider more attractive(at least according to Allen Pease). Here is my write up about it, after I wrote it I found a video by Allen Pease summing it up, so I put it on there. http://showyourmind.wordpress.com/2012/ ... and-class/ The Art of the Compliment- Complimenting Women with Flattery and Class. You'd be surprised the smoothness a guy can start a conversation with just a compliment.

Author:	TXkrush [ Thu May 31, 2012 3:03 am ]
Post subject:
You guys are fantastic and love all the great feedback. I agree with the idea of being smooth with the compliment and saying something unique instead of... "your pretty". I am no where near a MPUA but I have ran a little game and realize I actually have used negs. Really, before I even knew what they were. I guess I didnt really think of them as back handed compliments. I once told this girl about her shoes that she had some sexy roach stompers and I got a laugh out of her. But I was just joking around and didnt think of it as a neg. I cant say I have approached an HB10's so I cant say I have ever really tried to neg them on purpose to run game but I may give this a try. How would one transition from a neg anyway. I think that would be a real sticking point for me. Knowing consciously that I just negged her and then I need to bring it back. Can anyone give me a good example of a transition from a neg?

Author:	Riter [ Thu May 31, 2012 4:12 am ]
Post subject:
I find if you're going to compliment then you should follow up with a question. I find women tend to object most compliments given to them. If you follow up with a question it allows them to accept it. Ex: "The color of that scarf is perfect for you. Where did you find it?" "You're very outgoing. Do you like to travel?"

Author:	poeticlyskuac [ Thu May 31, 2012 5:53 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: I find if you're going to compliment then you should follow up with a question. I find women tend to object most compliments given to them. If you follow up with a question it allows them to accept it. Ex: "The color of that scarf is perfect for you. Where did you find it?" "You're very outgoing. Do you like to travel?" A compliment should be more like this: "Smooth selection on the neck wrap, the color blue really makes your eyes sparkle." We all think of how we are going to look and a woman puts exceptional effort into her appearance it's nice when someone notices and compliments. It's easy to tell why a woman wears most things, so that it can have personality and accentuate her in some way. A woman will choose colors based off of how it will make her skin tone or eyes look. She might choose earrings that have certain colors or characteristics she loves about them. Why does it take a woman so long to get ready? They put a lot of effort into how they present themselves and it's very good to be a gentlemen and notice. A great compliment encourages conversation, a question is helpful but a great compliment will start a conversation. "You're very outgoing ." isn't a compliment worth giving, you want more than that. Any compliment that starts out with "You are..." is probably not going to land on the mark unless you have a solid why to back it up. The secret to a great compliment is all in the why, a why is very important to a great compliment. Always say why you like it. Note: Shoes and glasses are my favorite things to compliments lots of thought goes into what you put on your face. Women have lots of shoes for the right occasion so they may have chose them for a reason. It's important to maintain confident body language, and deliver the message in a way that doesn't put you below her even if you deliver it in a nonthreatening manner. When you deliver it you should act like you always do it and it's no big deal, it shouldn't be, it should be something that is true and genuine so it is easy to deliver with confidence and in a natural way.

Author:	TXkrush [ Fri Jun 01, 2012 4:53 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: I find if you're going to compliment then you should follow up with a question. I find women tend to object most compliments given to them. If you follow up with a question it allows them to accept it. Ex: "The color of that scarf is perfect for you. Where did you find it?" "You're very outgoing. Do you like to travel?" A compliment should be more like this: "Smooth selection on the neck wrap, the color blue really makes your eyes sparkle." We all think of how we are going to look and a woman puts exceptional effort into her appearance it's nice when someone notices and compliments. It's easy to tell why a woman wears most things, so that it can have personality and accentuate her in some way. A woman will choose colors based off of how it will make her skin tone or eyes look. She might choose earrings that have certain colors or characteristics she loves about them. Why does it take a woman so long to get ready? They put a lot of effort into how they present themselves and it's very good to be a gentlemen and notice. A great compliment encourages conversation, a question is helpful but a great compliment will start a conversation. "You're very outgoing ." isn't a compliment worth giving, you want more than that. Any compliment that starts out with "You are..." is probably not going to land on the mark unless you have a solid why to back it up. The secret to a great compliment is all in the why, a why is very important to a great compliment. Always say why you like it. Note: Shoes and glasses are my favorite things to compliments lots of thought goes into what you put on your face. Women have lots of shoes for the right occasion so they may have chose them for a reason. It's important to maintain confident body language, and deliver the message in a way that doesn't put you below her even if you deliver it in a nonthreatening manner. When you deliver it you should act like you always do it and it's no big deal, it shouldn't be, it should be something that is true and genuine so it is easy to deliver with confidence and in a natural way. I think I could have used that today. I was at a clothing department store and there was this cute black HB7 that had a nose ring that was gold. I think I had a good smile and body language so it worked out. All I said was " that is a cute nose ring" and then I just told her she was cute. I think I could have done better but I definitely still got more to learn. I am trying to make at least one creative compliment per day to get used to it. I was having a conversation with her - she was a clerk looking for a money clip for me and we had a short conversation about what she thinks of men with a money clip. (she went on... IOI) After i complimented her I stood sideways like I was leaving and looked at her with a smile over my left shoulder and said she was cute asked her for her name, shook her hand, told her my name, and said thank you. I think I could have number closed with the body language she was giving me (smiling, looking down, figiting). I kind of used that as practice but I think it was a good lesson.

Author:	Grondvoel [ Tue Jun 05, 2012 6:35 pm ]
Post subject:
Howzit okes Yea I'm new to this but just from experience the best neg would be a spontaneous witty remark to throw her off her guard and 9 times out of 10 she will give you a little punch or something of the sorts to just make sure she still has your attention Again, I'm new so sorry if my opinion sounds a bit " junior"

Author:	Grondvoel [ Tue Jun 05, 2012 8:10 pm ]
Post subject:
Howzit okes Yea I'm new to this but just from experience the best neg would be a spontaneous witty remark to throw her off her guard and 9 times out of 10 she will give you a little punch or something of the sorts to just make sure she still has your attention Again, I'm new so sorry if my opinion sounds a bit " junior"

Author:	Valdemar1 [ Wed Jun 06, 2012 9:45 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: I don't NEG on purpose. NEG-ing is like trying to lower womans value.... why lower their value ? why not let they build they value higher so they can be my value ? Your idea of neg is really wrong. Understand that a neg is just a way of teasing the girl, and it is definitely not a way of lowering their value.. Many people see neg'ing like the opposite of giving compliments and therefor it is not nice at all... The way i see it is, that you are having plain fun with the girl, it allows for her to tease you back, and in some way it opens up for many things between you and the girl you just met and already having fun with. in general it is a great way to get really personal with a person really fast. And it allows you and the girl to having fun. it shows her that you are a playfull person which in almost every case is a benefit. And it is a DHV...

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Author:	AFC AzA [ Wed Jun 06, 2012 12:36 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Quote: I don't NEG on purpose. NEG-ing is like trying to lower womans value.... why lower their value ? why not let they build they value higher so they can be my value ? Your idea of neg is really wrong. Understand that a neg is just a way of teasing the girl, and it is definitely not a way of lowering their value.. Many people see neg'ing like the opposite of giving compliments and therefor it is not nice at all... The way i see it is, that you are having plain fun with the girl, it allows for her to tease you back, and in some way it opens up for many things between you and the girl you just met and already having fun with. in general it is a great way to get really personal with a person really fast. And it allows you and the girl to having fun. it shows her that you are a playfull person which in almost every case is a benefit. And it is a DHV... yeah... lately I'm lost. readed to many stuff had so much experience but still not sure which is which. being myself didn't gone great