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Understanding The Female Mind - A Short Guide
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Author:  MrFeelGood [ Fri May 25, 2012 11:20 am ]
Post subject:  Understanding The Female Mind - A Short Guide
Alright folks, seeing as i've already dove into the pick up community once and this is my second time around re-educating myself in what i used to be a lot more sufficient at i think it gives me a chance to really understand things i didn't the first time around. Things i used to look at cynically, things i viewed as "faults" in the female psyche now seem more like... "traits", i suppose. But i think for newcomers out there i can shed some insight into what i've already learned about the female mind. Feel free to share your thoughts afterward.

I think the most important thing to understand about the female mind is that women are very EMPATHIC creatures. I used to think this was just weak willed, but i think its more than that. Men are the dominant providers, creating and founding their own ideas and emotions, and women are the submissive supporters, strengthening and adopting those feelings. From a young age women learn to sense peoples emotions, much stronger than men might. Its a fact, women have twice as many connections between their right and left brain as men, which means more communication from unconscious abstract thought to rational thought. (this also means that there is more of a change of cognitive distortions since some of these senses are not always easily expressed in words)

But what this means is that women are much more adaptive and receptive to whatever emotion is being expressed. If you feel awkward, they will feel awkward. If you feel happy, they will feel happy. You can't turn this off. One of the presuppositions of NLP is that you are ALWAYS communicating. You are ALWAYS expressing emotions, even if its simply through vocal inflection and body language. But its more than just feeling what you're feeling that women deal with. They have their own minds, their own fears, their own thoughts. This is how it gets complicated.

Women, especially beautiful women, are haunted by something i call the "slut factor". Women are absolutely terrified of looking like sluts. This is one of the most key concepts in understanding the female mind and i'm surprised at how few pick up artists actually understand its true importance. The slut factor is something that started with their daddy issues, people magazine, the other mean girls in elementary school and middle school. When you think of all the hateful words to call a woman, what words come to mind? Bet you at least 8 out of the top 10 are synonymous with 'slut'. And when it comes to dealing with men, this issue is actually pretty irrational--theres plenty of guys out there who are actually TURNED ON by sluts. But then when they get into a fight with their boyfriend, guess what they get called? A slut, obviously. This is also why women love to be called sluts during sex, or why they might call you "daddy" or play innocent. You're playing the role of important people that she admires or respects, and instead of punishing her for being a slut, you're rewarding her, telling her its ok to desire what was previously "not ok".

But until you have her in bed be aware that these fears are carefully guarded. There are plenty of defense mechanisms to be aware of, traps they will set to test you, or to keep themselves from getting too close. One of the most common (especially among the MOST beautiful) is when they will try to shift their fear of being a slut back onto the men, and this is where the "creep factor" comes in.

If i can emphasize one skill to learn when dealing with women, its LEARN TO SHIFT BLAME. Blame always comes with some kind of emotion, and what blame does is asserts a responsibility for that emotion. If you're to blame for the awkward tension, the woman can walk away saying "what a creep" and feel at ease and relieved not having to bear that. But that also leaves her in a position where she is intolerant to whatever good intentions you may have had, she may feel better than you, or she may not even see YOU at all.

One key thing i use to shift blame is to simply state the truth: that no matter how hard i try, i cannot CONTROL my emotions, simply express them. I tell her its her fault for making me feel that way, and she feels powerful knowing that she has made me feel a certain way. I reframe it in her mind so that i am no longer the creep and instead she is in control. Obviously people like power, women are no exception. Of course, this is a lie. I would never let a woman have control over my emotions. But when she finds out she is NOT in control it will tease her with the thought of being in control which will only make her that much more nuts about me.

Another good idea is to use embedded statements, embedded questions and sleight of mouth to make sure you never hold blame for awkwardness or fear but you always hold blame for sexual tension and happiness. Never explain yourself or your reasoning. Never JUSTIFY your emotions. It gives them something to argue, accuse of being "wrong" or "right".

A final thing i want you to understand is just how it feels to be a drop dead gorgeous woman. Guys are usually either hitting on them 24-7 or just too scared to talk to them. I've won women over just by ACKNOWLEDGING the fact that other desperate guys are after her. Let her complain to you about the "thousands of creepy guys just begging to get her phone number". That just means she sees you differently and she'll probably blow you right after you agree with her. But she's not REALLY worried about them. She's worried that if she's receptive to every single one of them she'll look like a slut. So thats why she picked you, the "only guy who truly understands her"...
Author:  MisterRon [ Fri May 25, 2012 1:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Understanding The Female Mind - A Short Guide
A final thing i want you to understand is just how it feels to be a drop dead gorgeous woman. Guys are usually either hitting on them 24-7 or just too scared to talk to them. I've won women over just by ACKNOWLEDGING the fact that other desperate guys are after her. Let her complain to you about the "thousands of creepy guys just begging to get her phone number". That just means she sees you differently and she'll probably blow you right after you agree with her. But she's not REALLY worried about them. She's worried that if she's receptive to every single one of them she'll look like a slut. So thats why she picked you, the "only guy who truly understands her"...[/quote]

mmm i dunno about this part, i've never had ANY luck listening to a girls emotions and listening to how other guys try and get with her agreeing and all that other bullshit, id rather treat her like she was no different to any other girl there and if she didn't put in any effort i would walk away.
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri May 25, 2012 1:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Good read, a lot of good points here!
Author:  Heywood Jablowme [ Fri May 25, 2012 1:43 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Understanding The Female Mind - A Short Guide
Quote:
mmm i dunno about this part, i've never had ANY luck listening to a girls emotions and listening to how other guys try and get with her agreeing and all that other bullshit, id rather treat her like she was no different to any other girl there and if she didn't put in any effort i would walk away.
About a month ago, I was watching a bi cute gal and her cute friend, getting slobbered on by a couple of AFCs at the local pub, I already knew her as an acquaintance and had her number in my phone! (they were hammering hard to get her number lol). I text her how I thought she should seeing they were trying so hard and bla bla bla..., I really got her laughing, texting me back how they just "didn't get it" and what not. I invited her and her friend out for a smoke. We ended up in a 3 way grope and grab 8) And I got the other 1s number as well as a 3way promise for later, simply because "I got it" as THEY said!
Author:  MisterRon [ Fri May 25, 2012 1:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Understanding The Female Mind - A Short Guide
Quote:
Quote:
mmm i dunno about this part, i've never had ANY luck listening to a girls emotions and listening to how other guys try and get with her agreeing and all that other bullshit, id rather treat her like she was no different to any other girl there and if she didn't put in any effort i would walk away.
About a month ago, I was watching a bi cute gal and her cute friend, getting slobbered on by a couple of AFCs at the local pub, I already knew her as an acquaintance and had her number in my phone! (they were hammering hard to get her number lol). I text her how I thought she should seeing they were trying so hard and bla bla bla..., I really got her laughing, texting me back how they just "didn't get it" and what not. I invited her and her friend out for a smoke. We ended up in a 3 way grope and grab 8) And I got the other 1s number as well as a 3way promise for later, simply because "I got it" as THEY said!
I can understand how they say "You got it" but the impression i got when reading OP was lsitening to all her other boyfriends and guys hitting on her, the kinda stuff that AFC's think they should be doing because it shows how great of a guy you are but infact gets you Friendzoned very quickly
Author:  MrFeelGood [ Wed May 30, 2012 6:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Understanding The Female Mind - A Short Guide
Quote:
mmm i dunno about this part, i've never had ANY luck listening to a girls emotions and listening to how other guys try and get with her agreeing and all that other bullshit, id rather treat her like she was no different to any other girl there and if she didn't put in any effort i would walk away.
No no no... Did i say anything about listening to a girls emotions? I didn't say agree with EVERYTHING, just this. By acknowledging that theres other desperate guys out there you set yourself apart from them. You void any chance of ever being mistaken as "desperate", which is the #1 game killer out there. Also, when women are given a compliment they have two choices: Agree with that compliment and relate to the guy who gives it, or ignore the compliment and call the guy a creep. Most girls are insecure, so they take door #2. By acknowledging that the rest of guys are desperate creeps, you automatically make her less pretty, which actually makes her feel more comfortable around you. I know it sounds complicated, but thats women's minds for you... Fucking complicated as shit.

But fuck no, don't listen to their emotions. If anything ignore the fact that they have emotions, it'll keep them from expecting you to do something about them... god forbid they expect you to try and 'fix' them.
Author:  MrFeelGood [ Wed May 30, 2012 6:30 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Understanding The Female Mind - A Short Guide
Quote:
Quote:
mmm i dunno about this part, i've never had ANY luck listening to a girls emotions and listening to how other guys try and get with her agreeing and all that other bullshit, id rather treat her like she was no different to any other girl there and if she didn't put in any effort i would walk away.
About a month ago, I was watching a bi cute gal and her cute friend, getting slobbered on by a couple of AFCs at the local pub, I already knew her as an acquaintance and had her number in my phone! (they were hammering hard to get her number lol). I text her how I thought she should seeing they were trying so hard and bla bla bla..., I really got her laughing, texting me back how they just "didn't get it" and what not. I invited her and her friend out for a smoke. We ended up in a 3 way grope and grab 8) And I got the other 1s number as well as a 3way promise for later, simply because "I got it" as THEY said!
sounds like quite the score! congrats. see i like being one of the few men who "gets it". its like being a part of the elite ;D they're definitely going to brag to their friends about you and you know what that means...
Author:  bobong [ Wed May 30, 2012 6:49 am ]
Post subject: 
the man!
Author:  MsNoca [ Wed May 30, 2012 7:01 am ]
Post subject: 
But fuck no, don't listen to their emotions. If anything ignore the fact that they have emotions, it'll keep them from expecting you to do something about them... god forbid they expect you to try and 'fix' them.[quote]



Nice! :wink:
Author:  MsNoca [ Wed May 30, 2012 7:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Understanding The Female Mind - A Short Guide
But fuck no, don't listen to their emotions. If anything ignore the fact that they have emotions, it'll keep them from expecting you to do something about them... god forbid they expect you to try and 'fix' them.[/quote]


NICE! :wink:
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