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Become Alpha
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Author:  Hakuna [ Wed Feb 22, 2012 2:18 am ]
Post subject:  Become Alpha
BECOMING an Alpha Male just means releasing the Alpha already trapped within you. It is more a process of discovery than invention. It starts by ADMITTING that you are a beta and acknowledging the severity of your condition. If you are on this site, you have most likely already diagnosed yourself with an overly feminine approach to life and you see your flaws. The more you become self-aware of your massively fucked up AFCism, the easier it will be to fix your mistakes. Are you whipped by your girlfriend? Do you need her a lot more than she needs you? Do you apologize sometimes just to get sex? Do you backpedal whenever she throws a shit test at you? Does your girlfriend flirt with other guys excessively? Does she still talk to her ex-boyfriend jerk who is clearly more Alpha than you? Don’t lie to yourself.

Then, begin to CONSCIOUSLY think different. I stress the word consciously because at first the conditioned AFC mindset you have will resist any shift in mentality – our minds and bodies are abhorrent to change, they prefer to maintain equilibrium. You will have to FORCE yourself to NOT be indecisive. Force yourself to NOT say insecure things. Force yourself to THINK positively. Force yourself to be more relaxed wherever you go. Forcefully SLOW-DOWN your life rather than live like a rabbit on crack. Force yourself to maintain frame and composure when your girlfriend freaks out. Force yourself to sublimate your instinctively beta responses to shit tests [no apologies, and do not supplicate to shit tests.]

And finally, Internalize. This is where guys always fuck things up. Your newly found Alphaness will attract women, you will find yourself a girlfriend, and then after about 2 months of shit testing, your frame will begin to shake. 99% of guys introduced to game drop the ball here. Do NOT regress back into beta mode. The deeper you go into your relationship, the more you’ll be inclined to ask for sex, to get lazy about talking to other women, to let her emotional state dictate your response, and to develop some sort of psychological dependency. Oneitis obliterates Alphaness like a tofu and soda diet.

You don’t need to figure out a way to “think alpha.” Alpha male manifestos were invented to SELL the product of self-development. You are ALREADY ALPHA, you only need to stop endorsing your AFCism and start aligning your actual consciousness with your inner Alphaness.

EVERY guy reading this KNOWS what he should do. They KNOW they should dump their soul-sucking blood thirsty girlfriends, they KNOW they need to stop playing world of warcraft, they KNOW they should be gunning down their dreams – but they don’t.
Author:  _Action_ [ Wed Feb 22, 2012 6:19 am ]
Post subject: 
Wise words brother.

I think it can be tough for guys who get into the PUA community while they still have a girlfriend. I did. I'm still theoretically with her - she's just in another country for the next four months. It's a big conflict because part of me is excited by the success I'm starting to have and wondering if I could eventually get a girl way better than her. But another part of me keeps asking, what if I love her? What if there won't be another girl like her? Would you call that "BETAness" or do you think I should think carefully about the situation?
Author:  Visor92 [ Wed Feb 22, 2012 2:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
If you think you can do better, you're probably not in love with her man. How long have you been together? If its been a long relationship its worth a good think about, nothing beta about having emotions. Not everything has an alpha and beta solution.
Author:  _Action_ [ Thu Feb 23, 2012 1:22 am ]
Post subject: 
We were together nearly two years before she left. It was an interesting relationship.

Sex was sometimes great, sometimes bad. We had good times and bad times. We'd have big fights sometimes. But I'd want nothing more than to spend a Saturday night chilling with her.

I liked her family. She's an intelligent girl - the rare kind. Really smart, good sense of humor, super in tune with things. She was emotionally really mature. She was insightful and a good talker. Really good at manipulating me and pushing my buttons, but I learnt to handle it.

She was stimulating. She was a challenge. And I loved her. I think I may still love her. But I'm 21 years old and I can't walk down a street without seeing 10 girls I'd like to try it on with.

I can see myself living with this girl and having a family with her - but it's far too early for that. And I really want to improve my game and explore the world and explore women. And she doesn't really fit into that.

It's such a dilemma man. If I let her go I'll probably lose her forever. I just have to trust I'll find someone better. And there's no guarantee.
Author:  Sly_Wolf [ Thu Feb 23, 2012 4:42 am ]
Post subject: 
That sucks. That's the problem with long term relationships at a young age. You don't know if she's the one but you will feel like you're missing out as well. There are a few young couples that end up happily married and there are plenty that don't.

You just gotta ask if she fullfills all your needs, meaning she's attractive, caring, funny, ...whatever qualities you want in a woman because if she has what you want then you wouldn't be saying you'd want better. Think about that while you decide.

If you end up dumping her, try to keep in touch after a few months, maybe after you live your life for a few years, you might have better insight.
Author:  Indomitus [ Thu Feb 23, 2012 6:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Man. You hit th nail on the head here. It's exactly what I've been thinking. I recently got into a relationship after a few weeks of doing this. It was unexpected and with a friend of four years. I'd been dominant and did a little kino and before you knew it, we were a couple. I've liked her for years and have only recently been able to act on it for reasons I'd rather not take the time to explain. The point is, she wanted me. She has a shit ton of guys chasing after her and he wanted me. And now that I'm in a relationship I'm already agonizing over losing it, which is ridiculous. This was very inspiring, dude, and will hopefully help me keep my beta tendencies at bay till I get used to this alpha mentality. Thanks dude
Author:  poeticlyskuac [ Thu Feb 23, 2012 9:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
I love what you said but I have come to have so much disdain for the word Alpha in the PUA community. People talk about what is true "Alpha" and every time I read it, all I hear is be confident. That is the direct translation to me. You need a mindset(confidence), you need to be that dominant personality(confident person), comfortable in who you are(confident), you need bla and bla.

The true answer to what everyone needs is confidence. Confidence is self belief and it is under rated. Everyone here seems to get to a point of "wow! I can get a girl," but they forget to gain that self belief and self love. They forget that you need to maintain those habits and as you say internalize. Get to the point of Unconscious competence when it comes to that self belief and self love.

Everyone has this thought how to be this "alpha" human but when you are that confident charismatic human you dominate every human interaction without using your physicality but your ability to make every interaction fun and interesting. When you release some of your potential you realize how much more you have.

I really love this poem:

Our Greatest Fear

it is our light not our darkness that most frightens us

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

—Marianne Williamson

It is a perfect description of confidence at it's finest and it truly is the person we all forget to be. It's a little religious in some spots but replace the word god with the thought of energy and it becomes clear.
Author:  LocoPuaBr [ Fri Feb 24, 2012 12:58 pm ]
Post subject: 
Very nice post bro. Being alpha is a huge part of the game, much bigger than just using canned material.

Cheers man.
Author:  john__12345 [ Fri Mar 02, 2012 7:25 pm ]
Post subject:  How?
How?? How do I not let her emotional state not get to me. When her tone of voice is off. It throws me off, I have major sleep problems and I don't sleep. I'm crazy about this girl. She might be moving away. Sleeplessness is throwing me off. We are emotionally attached to each other, we have talked about marriage and say I love you, and say baby, honey, sweety and all of that. I care for her. Should I date girls behind her back? I want to marry this girl, I don't want to go out with other girls. But if that gets me over this anxiety and sleeplessness I'll do it.
Author:  Chercheur [ Fri Mar 02, 2012 11:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
I think Hakuna makes a very good point in saying we change when we force ourselves to.

Little example. I gamble on horses. Of course I am human and hate and fear losing but I deliberatly cultivate a sang froid approach to winning and losing. Today I had a big bet on a big price. It won. When collecting a large winning sum the attitude of the girl paying out was totally transformed. I wasn't just some other guy...I was the guy who treated a 4 figure sum and winning it as par for the course. The usual disdain went and she wanted to chat etc.

Now of course I was thrilled at winning and had my heart in my mouth at the thought of losing but the hot eyed big titted piece behind the counter didn't know because I had forced myself to control reactions.
Author:  joeyjoe42 [ Thu Mar 15, 2012 5:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
when you say be positive, I consider myself pretty alpha, I do lack in some areas. However, I would also consider myself a pretty negative person, and a lot of negativity comes out of my mouth, could you please explain why that's a beta trait?
Author:  smokeit [ Fri Mar 16, 2012 7:54 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
when you say be positive, I consider myself pretty alpha, I do lack in some areas. However, I would also consider myself a pretty negative person, and a lot of negativity comes out of my mouth, could you please explain why that's a beta trait?
Because the world is as you perceive it, just by you questioning makes you beta.
Author:  Roy Hobbs [ Sun Mar 18, 2012 10:05 am ]
Post subject: 
I casually stroll through this forum when I'm bored at night. This is the first post I've seen here that I can honestly say should be read by every AFC PRIOR to asking questions or trying to master "game".

It's pretty universal. Applies to 99% of people's problems, directly or not.
Author:  dxb_buddy [ Sun Mar 18, 2012 11:27 am ]
Post subject: 
I can live on my own without women or sex for a very long time and not feel bad about, at least not like before..

I really dont worry about it as I kept my life busy and occupied with alot of stuff including the game.. When I see HBs passing by I am confident I can approach them without any issues even if I dont do so..

I spent more than a year working on my inner game and it was a rough journey... I changed alot... And people look and react to me differently..

I am now in pursuit to make new friendships and build a new social circle as I wish to surround myself with interesting and positive people..
I ditched video games, my afc friends who were useless, been boxing for more than a year, studying the game, launched my own blog, tried to invest in a small business and trying to always find ways to improve myself..

I cannot stop and rest until I get what I want in life.. Is there any wrong with what I said or did?
Author:  Deeper [ Mon Mar 19, 2012 10:01 am ]
Post subject:  Re: How?
Quote:
How?? How do I not let her emotional state not get to me. When her tone of voice is off. It throws me off, I have major sleep problems and I don't sleep. I'm crazy about this girl. She might be moving away. Sleeplessness is throwing me off. We are emotionally attached to each other, we have talked about marriage and say I love you, and say baby, honey, sweety and all of that. I care for her. Should I date girls behind her back? I want to marry this girl, I don't want to go out with other girls. But if that gets me over this anxiety and sleeplessness I'll do it.
Then what are you doing on a Pick up forum? Go marry her if thats what you want.
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