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Faking it till you make it has worked somewhat for me...
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Author:  powerpsi [ Wed Feb 15, 2012 4:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Faking it till you make it has worked somewhat for me...
I've learned how to be really good at naturally picking up even the subtlest hints of attraction. Like when a girl walks in and it's just me in the room and she slightly fixes her shirt a bit I already know she's attracted. Or if when we initially suddenly make eye contact and her eyes widen a little (like she looks surprised) I know she finds me attractive.

And I've learned how to come off as confident and interesting, how to tease her and how to be playful and how to kino escalate and it honestly has taken a while to get naturally good at this, like it's second nature, but I'm here.


The next step where faking confidence hasn't seemed to help me is closing. Either getting a number or kissing or even taking a girls blatant signals to fuck her.

It's at this point that my inner shy, inexperienced self comes out. How can I fake being great in bed or a great kisser if I've never done these things before?

It's infuriating to do all the work necessary to attract a woman and get her interested, only to become too nervous and insecure to close the deal. What will they think when the guy who came off as a confident, sexy man ends up not knowing how to even kiss well let alone how to please a woman in bed?

So faking confidence has worked for me, but once I get to cashing in the rewards of building attraction and comfort, I fall flat on my face.

Any advice?
Author:  supern0va1 [ Wed Feb 15, 2012 6:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Faking it till you make it has worked somewhat for me...
Quote:

What will they think when the guy who came off as a confident, sexy man ends up not knowing how to even kiss well let alone how to please a woman in bed?

Any advice?
Dont think this. This will just fuck u up. Plus it doesnt matter. Ur first will most likely be terrible anyway, its not that big a deal.

Next u just gotta go for it. Few months ago when i started I had to get good at telling when a girl wanted to kiss. U just keep going for it and calibrating. There was this one church girl i went to kiss and she gave me the weirdest look, and I went in anyway until she pushed me away. At the time it sucked, but everytime I look back on it now it makes me laugh.
Author:  Thedutchone [ Wed Feb 15, 2012 7:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
That is the whole problem ; you are faking it.
You should change yourself so you don't need to fake anything?
Author:  powerpsi [ Wed Feb 15, 2012 9:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
That is the whole problem ; you are faking it.
You should change yourself so you don't need to fake anything?
The whole point of me putting up this "front" of a confident, maybe even slightly cocky, guy is to build attraction. And I've found a way for it to work for me so that I've got pretty good looking girls shooting signals my way wanting to date or hook up.

If I don't fake that then I come off as an inexperienced, timid man. No attraction is built.

So I saw myself 2 years ago not even being able to look a girl I liked in the eye because I was so insecure and not confident with myself. Now I can flirt a lady up and build that sexual tension to the point where she might even feel a little nervous around me.

And then when the time comes for me to go in for the kill, which I've paved the road for with all my efforts, I decide not to because I feel very nervous and don't know how to proceed.

I think I need to change my mentality somehow so that when another opportunity comes up I somehow ignore the nervousness and just make a move. Even if I'm shit at it, at least I'll have done it once, and that will build my confidence for the next time I do it. I just gotta stop myself from flirting with a girl and then not doing anything to follow it up once she likes me.

Maybe go out to bars? I get girls approaching me from time to time, maybe I should have a drunken makeout/hookup to get me started. Because I can't hookup with any girls in my social circle without them spreading the word that I fucked her like a virgin
Author:  supern0va1 [ Thu Feb 16, 2012 12:55 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
That is the whole problem ; you are faking it.
You should change yourself so you don't need to fake anything?
Thedutchone is wrong, it doesnt matter if your faking it till u make it, thats not a problem.
Quote:
So I saw myself 2 years ago not even being able to look a girl I liked in the eye because I was so insecure and not confident with myself. Now I can flirt a lady up and build that sexual tension to the point where she might even feel a little nervous around me.
I been there man, less than a year ago.
Quote:
I think I need to change my mentality somehow so that when another opportunity comes up I somehow ignore the nervousness and just make a move. Even if I'm shit at it, at least I'll have done it once, and that will build my confidence for the next time I do it. I just gotta stop myself from flirting with a girl and then not doing anything to follow it up once she likes me.
Yeah do this!
Quote:
Because I can't hookup with any girls in my social circle without them spreading the word that I fucked her like a virgin
Who give a fuck? This kind of thinking is only gonna hold u back.
I've been at this sticking point bro, the first ones the toughest just keep at it!
Author:  7000 [ Thu Feb 16, 2012 7:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
Definitely know where you're coming from here powerpsi. As you say - other aspects you can fake it until you get enough experience, knowledge and therefore confidence to not have to fake it anymore. With kissing and sex, until you've done it, you're obviously not going to have the experience, knowledge and therefore confidence to be able to fake it.

I would say that these two things are no different to the rest of your game; fake it as much as possible in order to gain that knowledge and experience. I'm sure you know some basic techniques and how everything is supposed to work on a basic scale, if you get my drift, so you're not completely clueless. I would simply say pretend that you are experienced, know what you want to do with a girl, and try to fake the sort of persona that suggests you are a sexually experienced person.

I always think there are only two types of people you should have your first time with. One is a serious girlfriend; if you two are pretty serious and she knows you're a virgin, yet still likes you, you're good to go and she'll help. Otherwise, you're on your own! If that's the case - total strangers, as you say, are the best bet!

Also, remember that a lot of it for women is more about emotions and SPAM. Now I'm not saying get all soppy and have candles and rose petals laid out for the first girl you bring back from a club! But what I am saying is that if you can get her in the mood by faking the sexual experience and using the techniques you've already seemingly become pretty decent at, then taking the plunge and getting in there may be better than you first thought!

Good luck anyway, just get out there, get over your worries and get some experience under your belt. That's the only way you'll get competent and confident I'm afraid!
Author:  zonk1234 [ Wed Mar 21, 2012 1:19 am ]
Post subject: 
as long as this is just for the short term then cool but for long time not very healthy
Author:  kavakid [ Wed Mar 21, 2012 10:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
just read up on how to please a woman in bed. Specifically you will want to read about the clit and fingering a girl. And then also about hitting her g spot when you are banging her. Learn the basic positions like froggy style.

It will take you about an hour to learn all this. Its all online.

Then you will know what to do it won't be fakin it.

As far as getting your thing inside her, it helps if she is turned on first (foreplay). then there will sometimes be some struggle to get it in. This happens even with experienced people as each vagina is different. If you have definitely found her vagina but you just can't push in there... that means she needs to be turned on more. Or she could have a sexual dysfunction. Either way you need to kiss her more and do more foreplay. And perhaps talk a little be romantic. If you think she is highly experienced then you need to be more aggressive to turn her on. Maybe be a little rough. then the vagina will open like a magic door "open sesame". If she is wet down there then its probably ready to let you in.
Author:  Tyler1187 [ Sun Mar 25, 2012 5:22 pm ]
Post subject: 
Happened to me dude first 6 months of trying to learn from pua.. but then i got that kiss, and i been kissing and fucking girls since. You just gotta have the balls to go in and do it.. like the other day i just met this girl ( I was drunk) for the first time, and in 5 minutes i went in and was already making out with her, stopped, and she came back at my face wanting some more.. so you just gotta ball up and do it till it happens and you will feel confident, and afterwards it will seem better for you
Author:  iwontlose [ Mon Mar 26, 2012 7:45 am ]
Post subject: 
listen to hypnotherapic sessions when you go to bed and when you wake up. i am not sure if they work because i just started doing this, but if they do ill let you know.

also confidence is something you can obtain threw experience. i use to have extreme social anxiety threw middle and highschool, i have conquered that and feel more confident, im 21.

it is very difficult to fake confidence, i tried it before but experience in my opinion is the best way to build confidence.
let me hear your thoughts on confidence :wink:
Author:  jheriko [ Mon Apr 09, 2012 3:09 am ]
Post subject: 
About sex and kissing, don't be nervous (easier said than done) and use logic - the only way to gain experience is to actually do these things. If it makes you feel any better most women I've met are terrible at kissing and/or sex... sounds harsh, but I think there is a good reason for it, which is that they don't need to be any good - its not like, even during a long term relationship, the AFC is going to turn around and say "dude, that sucked - what you should do is..."

My experiences so far (13 fucks and about 20 or so kisses) are:

6 girls I've kissed had the "I'm going to poke my tongue down the back of your throat so hard it will make you puke" kissing strategy. This is surprisingly popular considering complaints I've heard from women about getting this from drunken guys (including some of those who do this themselves).

2 of them had the "I'm going to lick your open mouth like some kind of porno slut" strategy - despite seeming cool it was not enjoyable, and a bit difficult to know how to react to... especially in public. Both times I reciprocated with similar messy kissing back... it seemed okay.

1 of them used some kind of nasty apple flavoured mouthwash stuff that tasted unpleasant to me... I'd recommend sticking with mint or just having a clean enough mouth. Nothing spoils the moment more than him/her pulling back and asking what the hell that taste is in your mouth... yes, I actually did this, although she took it quite well and we carried on, that was not the smoothest move I've ever pulled.

One didn't know exactly what or where her clit/g-spot was - she thought her clit was her g-spot (true story, crazy, I know!) - this was my first and that gave me a load of confidence that I knew her anatomy better than her, especially after finding her g-spot and introducing her to it.

9 of the 13 fucks required that I "finish myself off" (i.e. going on top or wanking) or give up because they kept doing things that were not sexually pleasant... they all sucked at giving head, handjobs and being on top to the point where it didn't really work and I doubt it would have worked well on any guy. Various things done wrong - I won't go into details. To start with I thought I was just unlucky, or it was something I was doing wrong, which was quite bad for confidence, but now I'm sure its them. Some of the stuff I've seen I'm pretty sure would fail to please any man particularly... All of them came, most of them twice or more... or were very good at faking it and were being nice to my feelings...

One of them was actually amazing... although considering other experiences that could just be "competent" and I'm yet to meet a girl who is actually good.

My first few times required a little guidance, even now I don't especially enjoy having to do the whole insertion thing - you can't just cram it in there unless she is sufficiently loose and wet - even if you get it in there you can snag all kinds of things in ways that will be uncomfortable for her without realising it - its much easier to let them guide you in if they start doing it anyway... (and this happens most of the time it seems). If they don't do this then you can always "test the water" by trying to insert two or three fingers first. If she is dry make her wet, then if its hard to find your way in explore around with fingers and try and work it out - she probably won't realise that this is what you are doing - exploring around the vagina with your fingers is generally a good approach to getting her warmed up anyway. Just remember to look as well - going on feeling alone can be difficult - for instance, my penis usually feels like it is going in at a much steeper angle, although I can visually see that it is not.

Hope this all helps...
Author:  loveorlust [ Sun Apr 29, 2012 7:28 am ]
Post subject: 
None.

Just remember to always try to F@#$% her on the first date. Even if you fail, she'll respect you more than she would if you don't try sh@t.

And don't be chicken sh@t about it either, cause she wants it just as bad as you do - but she'll never tell you it cause she doesn't want to appear like a slut.. but all girls love sex. They loved to get f@$%ed. And they love sucking @#$% too.
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