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| In dire need of some help here - "crush", but no s https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=134&t=92007 |
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| Author: | dingbats [ Fri May 20, 2011 9:56 pm ] |
| Post subject: | In dire need of some help here - "crush", but no s |
Hey guys. I really need some help to manage this thing. The girl I've been trying to get for a little over a week just told me in one sentence that she has a crush on me but doesn't want to be in a serious relationship right now. I told her then that I believe we should see where it's going as we like it each other, but if she's not ready, then no worries. I tried to play it off cool. This is all via text message by the way. I think she was surprised by my answer and wished me a good weekend etc. - I then didn't respond anymore. An hour later she started texting me again about what she's doing etc as if nothing happened. Except she suddenly started to use smileys a lot more. Weird. I think I'll freeze her out but I'm not 100% sure of this because she's on vacation in Hawaii for the next couple of weeks and I don't want her to forget about me if there's a chance to turn this around. I'm confused. Really appreciate any help! |
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| Author: | EddieFews [ Fri May 20, 2011 10:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
WTF ? Why on earth would you freeze her out when she started showng possitive signs?(smileys N stuff like that) |
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| Author: | dingbats [ Fri May 20, 2011 11:44 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Well I figured I freeze her out because of her statement of not wanting a serious relationship now. She pretty much blew me off when I said that we can see where we are when she's back from vacation, repeating that she doesn't want a serious relationship. Is this not the right way? I'm confused. |
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| Author: | EddieFews [ Sat May 21, 2011 12:30 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
A freeze out is a form of punishment; so are you saying you want to punish this girl into being in a serious relationship with you? Instead of being respectful of what she wants. What is it about a serious relationship do you want so bad? |
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| Author: | dingbats [ Sat May 21, 2011 12:58 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Maybe I'm misunderstanding this. I'm not trying to not respect her, I'm trying to see how to move forward. She texts me happily before and after, and I'm looking to you guys for some ideas on how to make it positive. |
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| Author: | Musterion [ Sat May 21, 2011 1:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
If she acts positively towards you, respond positively. She has said to you that she has a crush on you which is about as big of an IOI as you can get, then contradicting herself by saying she doesn't want a relationship etc. Why would she tell you she has a crush on you unless she had any intention of taking it further than just mentioning it. I think it's just a shit test you have to smash through and own. |
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| Author: | dingbats [ Sat May 21, 2011 2:32 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks a lot for clarifying - I think I understand what you mean. I've responded casual-positively so far. If it indeed is, it's a really f'd up shit test. It confused the hell out of me when she said that although she has a crush she wants to be single. Going forward, considering that she's on Hawaii now, how should I manage the texting over the next couple of weeks until she returns? |
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| Author: | psychx [ Sat May 21, 2011 4:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
In my personal suggestion I would remind you to remember the "push pull" dynamics of flirting and dating. Maybe something mindful to do right now is somewhat agree with what she is saying. For example, Her: "I don't want a serious relationship right now." You: "Why would we rush something like that? Serious relationships take time, let's start off with ice cream lol." Remember frame control. It's very important that you hold the power within this relationship especially if you're both not dating yet. Right now you make it seem like she has the option to jump into a relationship with you at her whim. This isn't right! You need to make her realize that you're someone she is not going to have the option with later on, make yourself a desired partner. Hope my advice helps. |
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| Author: | dingbats [ Sat May 21, 2011 8:08 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
That's a really good example and suggestion. Thank you! I guess if I make her feel comfortable in that I'm not trying to jump into a serious relationship right away then she may be more open. How should I deal with her in the coming days via text message? Be friendly yet independent (tell her what I'm doing w/o her)? |
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| Author: | MrMissionary [ Sun May 22, 2011 9:16 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
basically what that means is that she's looking for a fuck buddy. if you maneuver yourself into being equal parts attractive, funny, and honest, you can maneuver your relationship towards that direction. just enjoy yourself with her, let things progress into sex, and after that happens she's going to want reassurance that what she did was the right thing. tell her something gearing towards the lines of, "I've not really planned where or what i want from a relationship to go at the moment, but i always have a lot of fun when we spend time together." just don't pressure her into having sex, don't be needy, and be confident. it'll all tie together. |
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| Author: | kinorc [ Sun May 22, 2011 9:35 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Are you absolutely crazy?!?!?! The girl said she digs u n doesn't want a relationship!!! Isn't that EXACTLY what we are all shooting for??? Ill break this down so you can understand. She is into you, but she's not trying to be tied down to you. Also I don't know why you would say something about its ok if she's not ready. Ready for what?!?!? If the girl is into you, chill with her and smash. Remember she isn't looking for a relationship, just fun times with a guy she digs. Be that guy. Finally...the freezeout makes absolutely no sense at all. You literally are punishing her for the exact type of scenario you should be pursuing. My advice...fuck this girl! I mean that in the most literal sense. Do not freeze her out n punish her for telling you she is into you! I don't even know why you would think of it unless its for her not wanting to be in a relationship. Also...you've known her for less than two week! Why the fuck would she WANT to be in a relationship after that little amount of time? Finally trust me...its much better to have a girl wanting to have fun n not be in a relationship than having a girl you hook up with want to be in a relationship n have to keep that awkwardness around. |
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| Author: | GWhizz [ Mon May 23, 2011 8:51 am ] |
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Kinorc couldn't have said it better. |
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