I respond to a lot of questions on this forum and I believe I give sound advice. I've decided that for now on, if I want to give advice, I will do so in the form of my own post. If you feel that the information is valid or completely sucks, let me know. I only post what I have personally tested and not what I think I know. I figure if it works for me, then maybe it can work for someone else.
I've seen a few people posting questions on how to hold or keep a conversation going. We've all been there. Things are upbeat and fun, then there's that awkward silence that drives you up the wall. You start getting nervous thinking that you should say something. You start wracking your brain trying to think of anything to get the convo started again, but you're coming up blank. You become more nervous and eventually you lose all focus and your game goes down the toilet. My hopes is that this post helps at least 1 person.
Conversation can never be planned. You can't have a bunch of questions in your head memorized and ready to go at any given moment.
When you hang out with your guy friends, do you have canned questions that you ask them? When your friends is saying something or telling a story and before he finishes, you're ready for him to shut up so you can say something that is related to something he said? It even gets to the point where he continues to talk and makes you think of another point and in the process you forget the original thought you wanted to comment on?
This is the same mentality you should have with women. They are no different. If anything they are worse because they love to talk. They love to hear themselves talk. The key to communicating with them is not the questions you ask, but how you ask the question.
Instead of asking "What did you do this weekend?" say "Tell me one thing that totally made your weekend and why?" This is a two part question that seems like one. She has to tell you the one thing that made her weekend and the reason why it did. If you were to break this up into two questions, it could put her on the spot and make her feel uncomfortable. Just like you, when she gets uncomfortable, she's going to clam up and this is the opposite of what you want. The more a woman feels comfortable, the more she's going to talk. If she doesn't shut up then you're golden!
Along with that is your part in the conversation. When she responds, listen and pay attention. She's going to say something that's going to trigger a memory for you. Could be anything. Whatever that memory is, you tell her the story. Include details and paint a picture for her so she actually feels like she was there experiencing it with you. Eventually she's going to open up and you won't be able to shut her up. She just needs to feel comfortable before she does.
You: So tell me one thing that made your weekend and why?
Her: We went to 6 flags on Saturday... It was so hot, but we rode every single roller coaster they had there.. blah blah blah blah on and on wah wah wah...
You: That's awesome. I love 6 flags. I get every other Friday off, so me and my co workers would try to go down all the time before the summer school break. It's Friday and school is still in, so the lines are much shorter. Plus we're going before it get's crazy hot so even if we did have to wait a while at least we're not sweating our butts off. So what was your favorite ride?
Her: blah blah blah
You: Oh yeah.. that ride is nice.. You aren't afraid of anything huh? Just a total badass!
Her: No, but my friend blah blah blah...
You: *Tell a story about your friend on the roller coaster* follow up with another open question
Basically, you build stories off of whatever she tells you. Even if you have nothing in common, you can make up a story about anything on the spot.
If she said that her weekend sucked because she was on her period and had crazy cramps all day and couldn't move from bed (which by the way is a really messed up situation and pretty much brings the mood down) you can bring it back up with a funny story of how your sister had her monthly visitor and was in a similar situation. Being the caring brother you are, you asked if there was anything you could do. She asked you to go buy her some tampons and ice cream. You go to the store but you have absolutely no idea which ones to buy so you stood there in the feminine aisle for what felt like 30 minutes reading each box until you finally decided to buy 3 different brands and sizes.
Anyway, the point is, make her feel comfortable, ask open ended questions, follow up her responses with a story, and end with another open ended question. Do this a couple times and she will not shut up.
|
