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| Girl wants to move out her mums house and mentions it to me https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=134&t=90637 |
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| Author: | zookmaster [ Fri Apr 29, 2011 8:47 am ] |
| Post subject: | Girl wants to move out her mums house and mentions it to me |
This girl I'm seeing is always banging on about she hates living at home and wants to find a place but can't afford. She knows I'm at home aswell and I'm 27 but I also can't afford. One week she was kicked out and complained about how she had nowhere to go and it was easier when she had a boyfriend. Then I didn't hear from her for a week. I felt she expected me to invite her over but the thing is if she lived hear with my mum things wouldn't be any better. I would of suggested just to keep things smooth but her phone always cuts out. Last night she was moaning to me about not being able to find a place and how when she was with her ex it was easier even though he was a douche but it was alright because his family didn't mind and now if she mentions to him she wants to stay somewhere he laughs. I just said to her I didn't know what to say and told her she has to start small and work her way up instead of expecting the huge house. I wasn't sure what to say when she said it before but now she LJBF me a few weeks ago I just told her I didn't know what to say. Shit test from her do you think? I wouldn't mind her staying for a few days but living at my mums house isn't really practical. Is she just testing or what? I like her alot but she doesn't seem ready to date me and just goes out with friends and gets drunk. We work together so we get to chill on the train or she gives me a lift in her car. |
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| Author: | psychx [ Mon May 02, 2011 7:13 am ] |
| Post subject: | Re: Girl wants to move out her mums house and mentions it to me |
Quote: This girl I'm seeing is always banging on about she hates living at home and wants to find a place but can't afford. She knows I'm at home aswell and I'm 27 but I also can't afford. One week she was kicked out and complained about how she had nowhere to go and it was easier when she had a boyfriend. Then I didn't hear from her for a week.
No, you handled this well. You shouldn't feel obligated to take anyone in, especially if you're not comfortable with the idea. The fact she wasn't asking either, I wouldn't look too far into it. Now the fact that she was bringing up her ex: I would have said "listen, I know you want a place to live, but don't keep venting it to me, especially about your ex-boyfriend." If you two really are seeing each other, she'll get it. It's not your job to play therapist, and if it were the other way around, she'd treat you the same way.
I felt she expected me to invite her over but the thing is if she lived hear with my mum things wouldn't be any better. I would of suggested just to keep things smooth but her phone always cuts out. Last night she was moaning to me about not being able to find a place and how when she was with her ex it was easier even though he was a douche but it was alright because his family didn't mind and now if she mentions to him she wants to stay somewhere he laughs. I just said to her I didn't know what to say and told her she has to start small and work her way up instead of expecting the huge house. I wasn't sure what to say when she said it before but now she LJBF me a few weeks ago I just told her I didn't know what to say. Shit test from her do you think? I wouldn't mind her staying for a few days but living at my mums house isn't really practical. Is she just testing or what? I like her alot but she doesn't seem ready to date me and just goes out with friends and gets drunk. We work together so we get to chill on the train or she gives me a lift in her car. |
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| Author: | zookmaster [ Mon May 02, 2011 10:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
She is freezing me out again now. In the last days I sent a txt message and called her about...4 times. She mention she was working Wednesday, so I could give her a txt if she is getting the train or driving. Should I freeze her out if A) She doesn't respond B) She responds and we meet to go to work anyway? |
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| Author: | psychx [ Tue May 03, 2011 6:05 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I'm not trying to bring you down, but honestly you're beyond things like "freezing out." At this point it's more of a matter of breaking rapport. There is nothing wrong with offering her a place to crash for a few days so she can get her affairs in order. But it's not your job (yet at least) to provide her shelter. If she is breaking rapport with you (beyond what she would regularly do), then assume that you're both heading to different paths. Don't put all your cards on one girl who flakes on you over something like this. Also stop being an AFC--stop calling and texting her non-stop. Don't take any of this offensively. I'm sure this is a very sensitive situation to you emotionally as well. "Proceed with your life," is honestly some of the best advice I could give you right now. |
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| Author: | zookmaster [ Tue May 03, 2011 7:48 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks. It's the most logical thing. Thing is though I give like 1 call a day and a few txts a week, is that AFC? Today I'm not doing anything. Not that it's a big deal but last time I went without contacting her was about 5 weeks ago. The most she has not heard from me since Feb 21st is about 2 days. I things up because she was txting/calling as much though. I'm going to ask her about tommorow, then I guess I would just let things go. |
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| Author: | psychx [ Wed May 04, 2011 4:48 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Quote: Thanks. It's the most logical thing.
Nah, I wouldn't say a call a day and a few texts a week is very AFC. But here is something that hopefully impacts you the way it did me: "If you do what you always do, then you will get what you always get." Think about that. That's really all I have to offer, especially if you already admitted logic to my previous post.
Thing is though I give like 1 call a day and a few txts a week, is that AFC? Today I'm not doing anything. Not that it's a big deal but last time I went without contacting her was about 5 weeks ago. The most she has not heard from me since Feb 21st is about 2 days. I things up because she was txting/calling as much though. I'm going to ask her about tommorow, then I guess I would just let things go. |
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| Author: | Jesus_PT [ Wed May 04, 2011 10:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
hey zook wassup? you are giving her too much attention... ignore her for a few days. remember, dont focus all your energy in just one girl really ignore her... dunno what you are expecting of her and dunno which stage you are in but remember.. you should never act needy by the way, dont be the provider if you just wanna screw her... and if shes always getting drunk, does not seem like a girl you wanna date seriously... well i wouldn't start focusing your attention to other girls... sometimes the Lion abandons the prey because she's just not worth the chase... keep us posted regards Jesus |
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