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DOOMED
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Author:  Dystopiax [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 5:22 am ]
Post subject:  DOOMED

I’m a 21 year old virgin with no relationship experience and the first time ever really trying I really fucked it up. I’m currently at a vocational school called job corps where we live in dorms and can only go to town on the weekends. I started talking with the girl in early October and we would go out together every weekend for like 4 weeks but all we would do is converse and go shopping and occasionally out to eat. At that time it had seemed like she liked me however I could never make any moves e.g. hold hands; kiss, put my arm around her despite all my friends telling me that’s what I needed to do. Gradually we started hanging out together less, despite my constant attempt to. I was thinking to myself that maybe she didn’t like me but I was persistent and continued to trying to hangout but she there would be an excuse every time. I was missing her more and more, I’d constantly think about her in class and could not get her off my mind, I kept telling myself when I see her next time I was going to step up my game and make some moves. However I did not. Not being able to reach her to ask her out to town I went by myself the next weekend thinking maybe she’d just go. She did, and I saw her while I was in the library, I went up to her and started talking with her and then just started following, I was trying to just hangout like we used to and maybe there’d be a good opportunity to make a move but again I was too nervous. It was the weekend before winter break and despite me calling a lot; I could not reach her in order to see if she was going to town. So I did the same thing, abandon whatever I was doing and just follow her around and talk with her. Leading up to my two week vacation my friend told me she was now talking with this alpha male type guy, so I had my friend who knew him ask if he's trying to get with her and he said he wasn't but also told my friend that the girl I like was starting to think I was creepy because all I did was follow her and not make any moves. I was pretty sad but in retrospect it made sense I was just too ignorant to realize what I had done. It’s now winter break and I’m still thinking of her a lot and how retarded I was. I was wondering if anyone had any solution on earth as to how I could salvage this mess. Any input would be amazing but I’m not naive, at least not anymore the situation seems hopeless and everyone I was previously getting advice from said I should move on so I figured I should get advice from experts.

Author:  Zodiac84 [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 3:11 pm ]
Post subject: 

Been there done that :(

Unfortunately not likely. It seems you probably now know what you done wrong but to reiterate, you didn't escalate within the window she was prepared to offer. Because you dragged it out she just saw you as a friend. BUT worse still you became obsessive by calling and following a lot. Friends don't do that to that degree, so it creeped her out.

Look I did the EXACT same thing to the letter, a long time ago. Take it as a learning experience and if you want to remain on talking terms back off entirely. Let her forget about you for a month then start again a fresh but as friends. Counter intuitive I know but back right off for a while.

Others my have different advice but thats what I would do.

Author:  kilativ15 [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 3:30 pm ]
Post subject: 

tl;dr

Could it be condensed?

Author:  Dystopiax [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 6:34 pm ]
Post subject: 

Quote:
Been there done that :(

Unfortunately not likely. It seems you probably now know what you done wrong but to reiterate, you didn't escalate within the window she was prepared to offer. Because you dragged it out she just saw you as a friend. BUT worse still you became obsessive by calling and following a lot. Friends don't do that to that degree, so it creeped her out.

Look I did the EXACT same thing to the letter, a long time ago. Take it as a learning experience and if you want to remain on talking terms back off entirely. Let her forget about you for a month then start again a fresh but as friends. Counter intuitive I know but back right off for a while.

Others my have different advice but thats what I would do.
Thanks for the advice! Yeah that's more than likely what I will do.
Quote:
tl;dr

Could it be condensed?
Liked a girl for a few months, never made a move, she told someone she was creeped out by me. Anyway to recover?

Author:  kilativ15 [ Sun Dec 19, 2010 9:45 pm ]
Post subject: 

No

Built social attraction, dont feel sorry for yourself, built some skills and get out there. & move on from the girl

Author:  Dystopiax [ Mon Dec 20, 2010 3:55 am ]
Post subject:  Agreed

Yeah I'd already assumed that I'd just need to move on it's just hard for me to because it's the first time I've tried and I've invested a lot of time into it. I still have hope for fixing this problem though, so hopefully someone can figure out what I can do. >_

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