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| text game: critique my work pls https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=134&t=80568 |
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| Author: | redman [ Tue Dec 07, 2010 9:35 am ] |
| Post subject: | text game: critique my work pls |
bros, here's the lowdown: her:Red, our quiz tmw is just abt quelle heure est il and a quelle heure right? me: Hi sleepyhead! I'll tell ya but first give me the password =D else ye shall never know muahaha her: I dont even know that a password exists me: Aww c'mon just try! Don't be a killjoy now. her: I am great! me: Wrong! lol but it's ok i like your confidence! Yeah it's about that only sleepyhead =D you owe me now though her: Hahahaha well me: Yeah just that don't worry about it you'll be fine lol. I dunno, what do you have in mind? her: Okay yaay! me: Okay then, you asked for it.. You shall find out.. Tomorrow.. Muahaha>=) her: Dont take advantage, my ques was just simple! :-\ hahaha see ya me: What do you mean? all i wanted were some shots lol. maybe throw in a g6 too. My, what a dirty mind you have! ;P her: Ugh. Haha. Thats not what i meant :-\ I meant that whatever i owe you should just be of abt equal value as my ques. me: Well i charge a really high fee. her: Feeling naman [hard to translate with the same connotation, but i guess it's something like, "cocky aren't you"]. Hahaha joke. Okay foine ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i see two errors. 1. i didn't end on my terms (e.g. i shoulda been the one to say goodbye) 2. maybe i shouldn't have said, "My, what a dirty mind you have! ;P" ? sorry dunno if this was the appropriate subforum, but there's no place here for text/phone game like the other pua forums. any and all comments appreciated |
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| Author: | On A Rampage [ Tue Dec 07, 2010 9:55 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
When she asked you what she owed you, you gave her the control. I would have liked something along the lines of 'now you owe me a chocolate ice cream' initiating a date and something that everyone enjoys. guess it depends if its summer/winter there and if you like chocolate the other errors you have already mentioned, but all in all i think you did well and she has some interest fo shooo |
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