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In and out of friend zone - will pay for help
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Author:  Gerka [ Wed Nov 17, 2010 1:05 am ]
Post subject:  In and out of friend zone - will pay for help
Hey guys,

I've known this HB9 for 5 years now. We started off as friends, but there was always a physical attraction. We used to go out drinking all the time and I would routinely end up sleeping at her place or vice versa. In the beginning she tried to kiss me once but I didn't go for it because she was too drunk. I'm not looking for a one night stand with this girl. I know I'm AFC and have one-itis but I don't care and I just can't shake it.

We continued being friends for the next couple years with nothing ever happening. Last Fall we hung out a few times and I k-closed her those times. Things were going really smoothly then all of a sudden out of nowhere she says that she didn't want me to get the wrong idea and that we weren't going to be in a relationship. I did a freezeout for 6 months. She came back and started talking to me again.

We talked for a few months, and hung out only a few times. In the past couple months when we hung out I k closed her a few times. Same story as last time though. Things were going awesome and then all of a sudden she said to me that she wasn't in love with me and she thought I was in love with her. We had it all out and I told her I wasn't in love with her blah blah blah but I did tell her I had feelings for her. She told me she doesn't think we would ever date but she still wanted to be friends. Alas, I froze her out again.

We havent been talking much for the past month or two. I've been seeing other girls and she's been seeing other guys. The bad part is that she texts me to ask about my dates and I always play the "they were awesome" which sends her off into a competition of telling me how her dates were great too. I always brush it off and try to avoid the topic.

Anyway, she asked me the other day if I wanted to spend the weekend with her in three weeks in the city for Christmas. I told her I would. I've still been freezing her a little bit. She emailed me today that she was so excited for our Christmas Weekend and blah blah blah.

There is definitely attraction and comfort between us but maybe not sexual comfort. She said last time that she felt weird when we kissed. I don't believe this though because when we did kiss it was very passionate and I would try to leave but we always came back for more kissing three or four times before i could leave.

Basically I'm looking for a few things and answers:

1) Am I hopelessly in the friend zone? (I don't think I am because we have hooked up)
2) How should I change my attitude/speech when with her that weekend? (We really click when we're together and we always have a great time and laugh a lot)
3) Should I keep freezing her or open up a little bit as we get closer to the weekend?
4) What do I do if when I go to kiss her she says no and she only wants to be friends? (I don't want to be an asshole and say no I can't do that b/c then it looks like I was only in it for the sex from the get. I'm looking for a way to say I want more like a relationship. I basically need a strong counter to her defense - but let her know I'm not her shoulder to cry on when she needs it)
5) If i get the k-close how can I escalate it to an f-close without too much LMR which she's famous for?
6) I need to increase sexual talk and tension so she doesnt say shit like it feels weird when we kiss but I don't know how to talk about this without sounding like a sleazeball. Thoughts?

Anything you guys come up with would be great and if someone really wants to help me out with this over the next couple weeks I will pay. PM me if interested.

Thanks guys.
Author:  Roz [ Wed Nov 17, 2010 3:27 am ]
Post subject: 
Alright, where to begin.

1. If she has/ has tried to kiss you on more than one occasion, drunk or not, then she is attracted to you. Since she has/ has tried to kiss you on more than one occasion, drunk and not, then you can be sure of the fact that she is attracted to you.

2. There is nothing more awkward for a girl than finding out that your guy friend likes you. If she really did believe you were in love with her, and has absolutely no romantic feelings for you, she would distance herself from you. Since she continues to want to see you, then you can be sure of the fact that she wants you to like her and her stating that you do was just a test. She wanted to see what you would say- you told her what she wanted to hear ("I told her I had feelings for her.") Don't do this again.

Other tests include:

Her saying "she didn't want me to get the wrong idea and that we weren't going to be in a relationship." You handled this one perfectly by freezing her out.

Her texting you to ask about your dates. When she does this, don't give her any insight; rather, say something like "Wouldn't you like to know ;)"

Her saying "she doesn't think we would ever date but she still wanted to be friends." In this case, instead of freezing her out you should have said something like "I totally agree... we would never work out".

Her saying that the kiss was weird. This again was to see if you agree with her or not. Next time, say something like "Oh god, I know! How awkward was that! Bleah, never again" and smile.

Now to answer some of your questions:

1) You are not in the friend zone, though she would like you to believe you are.

2) Just act like you normally do. Do not tell her you have feelings for her again.

3) Keep freezing.

4, 5, and 6 are not my area of expertise, so maybe some guys can help you out with that. But overall, I truly believe there's a lot of potential for a relationship here.

-Roz
Author:  notneedy [ Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:17 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey bro

Im in the exact position as you, the only diference is that i havent K-closed her.
I have been freezing out her each 6 months.
She feels atracction for me, but she says we are friends.
She call me when i say that we shouldn´t talk again
Once I tld her "I feel something for her".
She told me we should be friends cause she was dating another guy, I told her "no thats not an option, we should not see us again"
I know there is attraction, but I just cant close.
She say she likes me and then "you are very good friend"
As you, we started as friends and she took the first step to began a relationship but I didn´t want at that time.
There is attraction but not sexual confort

Maybe is that there is so much connection and are so similars that she dont want to ruin it beginning a relationship. I have been thinking that that could be the answer.

She invites you because she wants to see you. I think the key is create so much tension that her body will not resist. She is resisting from the magnetic field between you both.

The key is create tension in a very smooth way so she dont realize it.

As you I have made those freezing out, they have worked very well, it makes you mantein your high value and that you are not like the other guys trying harder to reach her.

But as Im in the exact situation and i just saw her last week, I can´t say you what to do because I dont know for sure.

The only thing I can say is that if she still calling you even she knows for sure that there is attraction and every you see her you will try to escalate, You have stiil the opportunity.

But as me I still not figure what is happening in her mind.

We still in game because she as well doesnt figure out how does our PUA brain works.


So hope you have a good end

and let me know how it goes. I will let you know how I did as well

cheers

Not needy

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Author:  kasabi [ Wed Nov 17, 2010 3:09 pm ]
Post subject: 
Your story doesn't really add up so I am going to make some assumptions:

*Your girl might be a 9 to you but others probably view her as a 6 or less. She's got way too much time on her hands.

*You view her as more attractive than you thus you view yourself as unattractive or unlikeable by women in general.

*You never initiated a move on her (physically) and you never had sex with her. On the other hand, you might have offered her a few verbal contracts. (I'll be a great boyfriend, we were made for each other, etc . . .)

*In those five years, you haven't had any relationships but you also never tried.

*If a 10 (to you) . . . meaning a girl hotter than this one approached you in those 5 years and offered herself to you, you'd be married right now.

If most of these assumptions are correct, your story would make sense. If not, there's something wrong here.

You negging her drunken kiss long ago plays a minor part but it shows in general that you never showed your attraction for her. Sure, you might have TOLD her that you'd be "great together, etc . . . " but you never swept her emotions through action. You never got her to think, "Wow, this guy is really, really into me."

She knows that you don't have a love life. You don't date, you don't have girls hanging around you and you don't initiate anything. She could marry and divorce 3 times and in 15 years, you'll still be hanging around alone waiting for her. Does this sound exciting to you?

A 'freeze-out', in general is silly but the way it's applied by most in this forum is really sad. You didn't freeze her out in order to attract her. You froze her out because you were pissed you weren't getting any play and your relationship was going nowhere. She knows this. And she also knows that when she's not around, you're jacking off alone in your apartment. All you did was illicit pity from her and pity isn't romantic. You showed her all of your cards. Your message to her is, "Kiss me once in a while and I will hang around you like a little puppy. If you don't kiss me, I will get pissed and go back to my cave for another 6 months." - does this sound like a great potential mate?

Now the interesting part:

You're seeking for advice on how to f-close this girl. Really? This is your best prospect in 5 years? The only reason you're into her is because she teased you once long ago by INITIATING the kiss so you think that it's all a possibility. Your logic is, "Other girls don't give me the time of day. This girl actually tried to kiss me. . . and we smooched a few times after that. (ALL without any special EFFORT from me) There must be something going on here . . . "
Quote:
I've been seeing other girls and she's been seeing other guys. The bad part is that she texts me to ask about my dates and I always play the "they were awesome" which sends her off into a competition of telling me how her dates were great too. I always brush it off and try to avoid the topic.
A blatant and obvious lie to get into her pants? To make yourself feel better? Have you fooled her yet?

I'm pretty sure that I could help you F this girl. Unfortunately, I don't think it will do either of you any good. Soon after, she will once again give you the, "I don't think we should be in a relationship." and you . . . you'd get more pissed than ever before and go back to your cave once again.

You know . . . you can be a shy guy and still run a decent game. But you won't with this girl hanging around making you feel like the best you can do is a few smooches with a 6 in a span of 5 years. Hit the reset button.
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