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Responses to the dreaded "I have a boyfriend" (unt
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Author:  Xafc [ Sat Nov 13, 2010 4:21 pm ]
Post subject:  Responses to the dreaded "I have a boyfriend" (unt
The most dreaded phrase for me, just after "Let's just be friends," is "I have a boyfriend." How do you turn the tables on this statement, putting her at a disadvantage? I came up with a few possibilities, which I will list from subtle to not subtle:

1. I'm sure he meets your highest standards.
2. I'm sure you have high standards, and that he exceeds them.
3. I'm sure he is worthy of you. Or, If you're his girlfriend, he must be worthy.
4. People tend to end up with what they deserve. My father always says that people end up with who they deserve. Or, I'm sure he deserves you [or, is deserving of you]. Or (most evil), I'm sure you deserve each other.
5. I'm glad for you.
6. You must be very pleased.
7. Congratulations.

These will only work, I think, if said with a very sincere smile, maybe even a nod of the head, as if a compliment had just been delivered. Think of how a smiling and sincere gallant gentleman might say, "You look very lovely this evening." If there is any irony, it must be so subtle that she is not sure whether it exists at all. Also, each could be preceded with a subtle neg "You seem like you could be a cool girl," implying that the jury is out on her value.

There are a few possibilities for the mystery boyfriend. 1. The girl doesn't have a boyfriend. 2. She has a boyfriend who really does meet her highest standards, and he is as into her as she is into him. 3. She has a boyfriend who really does meet her highest standards, but he is not as into her as she is into him. 4. She has an OK boyfriend. I think the second possibility is by far the unlikeliest.

Let's take the first three negs, the "high standard" negs. If the girl happens to have a high-value boyfriend who is into her, well, you've given her a gallant compliment, DHVing as a gentleman and displaying lack of need. You need to give the compliment very politely, but your body language says "No big deal--I'm already bored." In all other boyfriend possibilities, you effectively negged her. She'll think, "I don't have a great boyfriend" or "Is he that great?" and will question her own value. Why doesn't she have a fabulous boyfriend? Is it her? It must be her. In this case, she will probably engage in some DLV-thinking while you DHV, showing her what she is missing.

The "deserve" neg is hard to say without any irony. You'd have to be pretty smooth to make it come off as a sincerely intended compliment. But if the girl is condescending and trying to neg you, "You get what you deserve" is a way to neg her back without overtly insulting her. What I like is that the neg includes a time-bomb. If her boyfriend exists, then the relationship (statistically) will almost certainly go bad, and she'll end up with anger and pain. Perhaps she will then think of what that guy said at the bar: "You get what you deserve."

The "congratulations" type neg could be used two ways. If said with apparent sincerity, as if your intended meaning is merely "I'm genuinely glad you are with someone good and are happy," then you neg her because the actual words suggest she was fortunate to get this boyfriend--or maybe any boyfriend. If said with a sincere smile and an obviously ironic tone, you give her a stinging put-down, and can immediately say "nice talking to you" and walk off smiling.
Author:  yupyup [ Sun Nov 14, 2010 1:25 am ]
Post subject: 
Just to add a couple of lines I have said

1) And has he given you a ring yet?

2) Oh, well, I am not here to break up any relationships, but honestly, some guy I've never seen isn't going to stop me from flirting with you.

Both of these have gotten positive feedback, and negative feedback. The fact of the matter is, if she is really into her boyfriend, nothing you will say will really work. But the idea here is that you don't want to disvalue her BF, because she obviously has known him much longer than you, and who are you to insult him. At the same time, you need to show that it hasn't phased you.
Author:  Xafc [ Sun Nov 14, 2010 3:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Just to add a couple of lines I have said

1) And has he given you a ring yet?

2) Oh, well, I am not here to break up any relationships, but honestly, some guy I've never seen isn't going to stop me from flirting with you.

Both of these have gotten positive feedback, and negative feedback. The fact of the matter is, if she is really into her boyfriend, nothing you will say will really work. But the idea here is that you don't want to disvalue her BF, because she obviously has known him much longer than you, and who are you to insult him. At the same time, you need to show that it hasn't phased you.
Thanks for the reply. You're right about an open insult about the boyfriend (who may not exist, right?). Saying "I'm sure he is a douche" is an obvious DLV. The tactic in your #1 is the one I like: it makes HER question her boyfriend's value. She wonders, "Why hasn't he given me a ring?" I might phrase is, "Oh, are you planning an engagement?" If she has a non-wedding ring on her finger, "Oh, is that your commitment ring?"

Your point about not being phased is right on, too. I was listening to Lovedrop in the vault. I wonder if another tactic would just be to say, "Oh cool, you should introduce me." Maybe the possibly existing boyfriend has a hot friend, or knows someone who introduces you to the hot friend, and so on.
Author:  Feller [ Sun Nov 14, 2010 11:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
I don't really mind the "I have a boyfriend line". The girl isn't saying no, because she can say no without an excuse. She may or may not have a boyfriend that means I assume she's giving me a shit test, so whenever I get this line I respond with a concerned friendly expression, "Oh, where is he?"
The usual response to that is, "Well, he's not here."
After that I'll come back with something cocky and funny like, "So.. he doesn't need to know..." and always wear my smile.
She may now smile and say "Ok", or just smile, but as long as she doesn't say "No" I know I'm in the clear.
Author:  Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Mon Nov 15, 2010 12:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
If a girl says anything, anything at all, that will not continue the pickup from the current venue to your bed, the best option (that involves not having to learn reams of lines and material) is to simply IGNORE IT. It really is that simple. Especially with the boyfriend example, why on earth do you want to continue a conversation about him (if he does actually exist) when you can just change the subject?
Author:  maxstam [ Mon Nov 15, 2010 7:19 pm ]
Post subject: 
here's one that always gets them laughing.


"I have a boyfriend."


"Ohhh how tragic..."

:)
Author:  TheGreatTailz [ Tue Nov 16, 2010 10:01 am ]
Post subject: 
Oh my condolances... Let me know when he cheats starts acting like a douchbag, i might give ya a 2nd chance ; )

then wink and walk away
Author:  Xafc [ Wed Nov 17, 2010 1:49 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
If a girl says anything, anything at all, that will not continue the pickup from the current venue to your bed, the best option (that involves not having to learn reams of lines and material) is to simply IGNORE IT. It really is that simple. Especially with the boyfriend example, why on earth do you want to continue a conversation about him (if he does actually exist) when you can just change the subject?
I think that is what Lovedrop would say to do. You're a "ghost," so boyfriend remarks just pass through. You don't care enough even to respond.

Not bad.
Author:  RoberRyan [ Wed Nov 17, 2010 5:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
Some of the things I've said are:

1) Wow... really... So do I!! :D
2) Would you share him with me please??!!
3) Is he cute enough for me??

Of course this are just jokes that will make her laugh and she will stop talking and thinking about her boyfriend. The "I have a boyfriend" part i don't mind because if she didn't want to talk and flirt with me she wouldn't do it in the first place. That part i think is to see if you will give up easy on her or you will come out as persistent. After this part is gone, just forget about her boyfriend and keep on gaming her till you get a close.
Author:  Junglepimp [ Wed Nov 17, 2010 5:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
"I know. At the moment he's busy buying us drinks. So what's your bla bla bla bla bla.. "
Author:  jcgurango [ Wed Nov 17, 2010 6:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Depends on what you ask her. That's why you don't just blatantly ask if she's single. But if you do, all you have to do is say, "Oh good, I thought you were gonna come on to me. I'm not single."
Author:  Hafer [ Wed Nov 17, 2010 6:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
I usually say something funny and if they get mad, there already taken, what can you do?
Aaw, I'm sorry to hear that
He has been cheating on you for how long?
Stuff like that, then there's the standard stuff.
I'm sure he always puts you first.
Your lucky to have a guy who will do anything for you.
Author:  Telos_T [ Fri Nov 19, 2010 4:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Guys Guys! You've got it all wrong. Its not lowering her boyfriends value that's going to help. It's increasing your own and turning completely off at the thought of a taken girl.

Imagine a scenario where you're flirting with a girl and she's clearly into you but unfortunately, she does have a boyfriend. You get to the point where you ask for her number or whatever, and she gives you that godforsaken line... At this stage what I do is completely turn off to a point where I'm feigning disgust. I then proceed to tell her that she makes a good friend and I wouldn't want to change that.

She usually responds with an IOI, after which I give her one back in the form of a smile or whatever, and then I proceed with Kino like the last 2 minutes didn't happen.

Eventually, We're at this point in the interaction where were really close to each other cuz of all the Kino, and were about to make out, but I stop her first and say, Okay no you've got a boyfriend.

Then I escalate again till we kiss. That way it feels like it was meant to be and we tried all we could to stop it but destiny or whatever fucked with us.

Don't break too many hearts guys.

Telos
Author:  Serial Killer [ Sat Nov 20, 2010 6:09 am ]
Post subject: 
"that's alright, we don't need him."

or

"biggest mistake your boyfriend ever made was taking his eyes off of you"
Author:  Xafc [ Sun Nov 21, 2010 1:44 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Guys Guys! You've got it all wrong. Its not lowering her boyfriends value that's going to help. It's increasing your own and turning completely off at the thought of a taken girl.
As I understand it, you're describing a slightly harder version of the "soft" style of indirect method, which means not being positively or negative reactive to any HB action. Revelation says: "She’ll say that she has a boyfriend. This is a classic sign that you screwed up by telegraphing too much interest. Do not further screw up by continuing to talk or ask about her boyfriend." In other words, when she gives an IOD, you show does it doesn't matter to you one way or the other.

The problem with the soft style is your whole body has to show you don't care. My face usually gives me away.
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