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I really dont know what to say
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Author:  newstyle10 [ Thu Nov 11, 2010 5:19 am ]
Post subject:  I really dont know what to say

Hey guys... I always was an introverted guy, I've problems holding a conversation, because I dont know what to say..

I can open sets, using canned openers or saying "hi" or whatever, but I dont really know what to say next.

I've tried stacking some openers or using some short canned material but I dont really know how to maintain a convo... I feel like I wasn't born with that part of the brain :?

For example, the last night I was in a club with my buddy, and he started talking with a 2 set (he knew those girls) and he introduce me saying "hey, this is my friend XXXXX", I say "hi" and then he started talking with one of the girls, and the other was there standing looking arround (IOD), I knew I had to say something, but I didnt know what to say!, everything that occurred to me it seemed to be absurd to me...

I asked her name and thats it :(

any ideas?

Author:  fifeguy86 [ Thu Nov 11, 2010 6:08 pm ]
Post subject:  reply

if you dont find it easy to maintain a conversationur company your going to struggle m8. remember, it doesnt really matter what you say, more that she is enjoying ur company and your demonstrating higher value, (should you be negging and teasing her? YES!)

To aide the conversation getting of the ground you would benefit from an opinion opener like these 2:

-Gay shirt opener
-Mates Jealous Gf opener

If you dont know these of want help with them let me know. i use these a lot when approaching a group of girls. also remember its better to say something outrageous and mildly insulting than to let conversation die before its really started

Author:  saint tiago [ Fri Nov 19, 2010 1:48 am ]
Post subject: 

Hey dude,

of course you know how to maintain a conversation, everyone does. you just don't know how to do it with a girl because you are overthinking. If you were talking for example with your buddy, you wouldn't have a problem, would you?same as with girls. Read "magic bullets" by sinn, theres's a whole chapter in negging and DHV.choose a few that you like and then go out and practice. Soon you'll have loads of things to say and will enjoy talking to everyone. peace

Author:  fifeguy86 [ Fri Nov 19, 2010 3:58 am ]
Post subject: 

good call on magic bullets mate, one of my fave books on pick up, if not the favourite.

Author:  saint tiago [ Fri Nov 19, 2010 9:56 am ]
Post subject: 

same here, def one of my favourites, at certain points I found myself reading it and taking notes :)

Author:  Ryan Black SashaPUA [ Fri Nov 19, 2010 12:54 pm ]
Post subject: 

Magic Bullets is actually by Nick Savoy, CEO and co-founder of Love Systems. Sinn used to be an instructor there (and I think may have helped write/edit some of the book) but now does his own thing with Captain Jack down in Texas. Good book though, for sure.

Aaanyway, if you're having trouble getting conversations to flow, I would start working on it in low-pressure situations. For example, go shopping and talk to the girls working at the shops. They HAVE to be nice to you and continue the interaction because they want your £££.

Ways to make conversations more interesting:

1. Opinion openers. They're the go-to method for indirect game because they WORK. Good opinion openers start debates and get information and views out of those involved. You can then pick the material you want to neg them about, or ask a question about, to continue the interaction and maybe open a new thread. Topics involving sex/dating/relationships/psychology are all good because women ALWAYS have opinions about them. For example, "is it ever ok to break up with someone via text message?" You will get girls who have done this, or thought about it, or it's been done to them, etc. and you very quickly have info from them to work with.

2. Questions as statements. Instead of "what do you do" or "where are you from" which are boring interview questions, you can say "I can tell you're one of those lawyer types" or "omg that's such a New Yorker thing to say!" Not only do you get the information, but she's qualifying herself to you and thinking/saying "what about me made you think that?"

3. Storytelling. Of course, at the start of any interaction you often have to provide the initial energy to move things forward. Having a bunch of funny, interesting DHV stories in your back pocket that you can trot out will take away some of the anxiety and make you more comfortable. Think back over the events of the past year or so and find 2-3 stories, random things that happened to you, adventures you went on, surreal coincidences you can't explain, or something like that. Tell them as if they just happened to you recently, and try and use them to show attractive characteristics about yourself such as preselection, leader of men, wealth, power or status, protector of loved ones, confidence, humour, and so forth.

Good storytelling is about using vivid descriptions, describing how you felt in the situation, creating tension, pausing for effect, speaking clearly and modulating the tone of your voice, and have some kind of punchline at the end. Try to fit in a few pauses where you can fit in a little question, like "do you have a friend like that?" or "have you ever been in that kind of situation?" or "has anything like that ever happened to you?" to allow her to opportunity to start a conversational thread of her own. Then you can either keep running with hers and open new threads from that, or go back to where you were with yours and continue it.

4. Transition phrases. If a thread's ended and you want to avoid saying "um, so...this place is pretty crowded huh?" You can use a transition phrase like "that's really funny because it totally reminds of this time when..." or "so the craziest thing happened to me the other day" or "that's just like when...." and then you have a few seconds to grab a story or something and run with it. Remember, it doesn't have to logically follow from the last thing, she just has to be having fun!

Author:  stuckupcurlyguy [ Sun Nov 21, 2010 1:45 pm ]
Post subject: 

Just run with it and make it part of your personality. Why spew pre-written stuff which you don't know how to use? I mean sure, use them as conversation ideas but it's got to flow, you shouldn't just memorise things.

There are non-verbal openers. Just wink at her or give her a beckoning finger. Adjust her hat. Learn a couple moves so you can open on the dancefloor. There are some great videos for that on the net!

Say stuff like "I hope you don't mind, but I'm the strong, quiet type."
"You know you can learn a lot about a person without even speaking to them. Let me guess, you're (so and so deductions made from stuff she's wearing or her accent yada yada)" - cold reading
"Tell me about yourself."
"I love girls who can talk."

It doesn't matter so much what you talk about, rather that you display an awareness of what's happening, keep calm and collected and show that you're confident and you know what you want.

In the situation you described, with the two girls, you seem to be thinking too much! Why not just say "He's always doing this to me. Can you believe how awkward it is when your friend is talking to someone else and you feel like a third wheel? Well, you actually seem quite nice, so we might as well get to know each other." Just have as much fun as possible, meeting a new person!

Remember, they're awkward too! Just run with it.

Author:  Saro [ Fri Dec 03, 2010 8:56 pm ]
Post subject: 

I find that by reading all sorts of books i have an endless supply of topics to talk about

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