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Escaping the friend zone
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Author:  canadiandude [ Fri Jun 18, 2010 4:51 am ]
Post subject:  Escaping the friend zone
Hey guys, I posted a thread about this situation a couple months ago, but things have changed quite a bit, so I need some advice. :)

Long story short, this girl and I have been friends for a long time, and we're in the same group of friends. We have both liked each other, but never at the same time. She told me before she didn't wanna be anything more than friends. We weren't talking for awhile, but we have started speaking again and hanging out occasionally.

We're both single right now, she recently broke up with her bf of 6 months (he was an ass). She told one of our friends that she feels bad nothing ever happened between us. She told another one of our friends that she feels a connection with me unlike any kind of connection she's felt with other guys. So those are 2 big pluses there.

However due to our history, it's kind of complicating for me to turn this into a relationship. In the ways of my actions/speaking to her, I'm doing everything right, except I still don't know what to do next. It seems hard to just make a move b/c I don't know if she's wanting to pursue a relationship with me or not.

Any ideas on what I can do next? :)
Author:  a40536 [ Fri Jun 18, 2010 5:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Escaping the friend zone
Quote:
1) She told one of our friends that she feels bad nothing ever happened between us. 2) she feels a connection with me unlike any kind of connection she's felt with other guys.
The above two are strong ioi's, try talking about other girls when out with her, (make her want you even more) treat her like one of your guy makes, brush her tits with the back of your hand by accident occasionally and watch Gamblers Dvd on breaking out the freinds zone.
Author:  canadiandude [ Tue Jun 22, 2010 6:11 am ]
Post subject: 
Thanks!!

K well I saw her over the weekend and I didn't talk about other girls with her, but I actually almost left the bar with another girl, and she saw this ;). Later that night she asked me why I didn't leave with the girl, and I said that the girl had family over at her house (which was true). I quickly added, "Oh well, another time". The rest of the night everything was pretty much the same, but she wanted a hug at the end of the night (which I gave).

Then last night we were texting and she was using a ton of smiley face emoticons. I kept control of the convo, sent her a couple teases, and then ended it rather quickly. I said "I'm off to bed ttyl" .. and she replied "Goodnight *name*, sleep tight!"
I think I handled the convo pretty well and it was nice to see all her emoticon use and a sincere goodnight from her after I was quite brisk.

The text convo is a good example of how I talk to her most of the time, once in awhile I'm a bit nicer, trying to push/pull. How do you guys think I'm doing??[/quote]
Author:  Absolute_Zero [ Wed Jun 23, 2010 2:54 am ]
Post subject: 
I think you're being tame as hell, and you need to like caveman phase shift when the chances are there.

I mean, and this isn't meant to be blunt man, but you've known this chick forever and you're still happy with a smiley face and 'good night sleep tight'? Jesus...

Would you say this girl is something of a one-itis for you?

Control the damn frame man. Don't be a friend to her. Escalate kino, create a seductive SPAM, if she doesn't like this new frame, use freezeouts and shit to punish her into seeing the way things are going to be from now on.

She'll like it, with time, but adjustment is hard for anyone. You need to MAKE it happen though. Don't go off all this bullshit she says "special connection" blah blah blah. Not important!

Get her screaming your name in bed dude, then feel proud of yourself.

Bottom line is, you have a great shot with this chick. You don't need to open, you don't need to worry about her flaking, you don't need to build comfort.

You do, however, need to ATTRACT, KINO, SEDUCE and FAST!!!

Or she'll see you as an AFC who can't pull the trigger.

Good luck man.
Author:  canadiandude [ Wed Jun 23, 2010 3:18 am ]
Post subject: 
Well first of all I'll clear it up that it isn't a case of oneitis, as I have been with other girls, and don't hesitate to get with other girls if she is present, will find out, etc. Also, it's not like I'm happy with a bunch of smiley faces, but the way she talks to me there are plenty of IOI's.

I do understand the point you are trying to make though man, and I agree that's what I should likely be doing. Sometimes that's a more difficult thing to do though with a girl who is your friend than a girl you've recently met. That's the main factor as to why I haven't made it happen yet.

Thanks for the good post
Author:  Absolute_Zero [ Wed Jun 23, 2010 3:47 am ]
Post subject: 
I totally understand where you're coming from, I've been there myself a couple of times.

I think you need to decide where you want this to go, and then take it there without looking back.

If you want her as more than friends, then do it, don't overthink it, make her yours. If you value the friendship and don't want to risk it, just use her as a pivot, and get other girls.

I think you need to choose and act on that choice though, or she will eventually see you as perhaps being indecisive or less than alpha, even if only subconciously.
Author:  canadiandude [ Wed Jun 23, 2010 4:16 am ]
Post subject: 
You make a really good argument, thanks!

Any suggestions for escalating kino when you're in the friend zone? I'm searching the forum but can't find anything
Author:  Be_yourself [ Wed Jun 23, 2010 7:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
Well , I understand this situation ( Im in a simliar place )

So what I do is lets say we are walking together I grab her arm and put it on my bicep ( A mystery move ) , then after a while we grab her hand off if it feels like she loosening up , then just wait and she will grab your arm again .

Where to go from here you ask ? Deploy , The Claw ;) ( basicly just a arm round , there is something on this forum to explain it better )

Then go somewhere alone , build the sexual tension , somewhere quiet , where she can only focus on how hard she is trying not to kiss you .

At this point you want to try to be a little funny , play the five question game which is always fun for me ( make the bet good ) .

you'll know if you can kiss her , so if you think this moment arrises ( another mystery move ) say : you look like you have something on your mind , do you want to kiss me ? yes/maybe or anything along those lines close my brother , if she says no then just disqualify her , if you make it seem like she can't have you , then dude she is going to go crazy about you , ( P.S if this girl talks about you with her freinds she already wants you ;) )
Author:  Absolute_Zero [ Wed Jun 23, 2010 7:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Rather than escalating kino in the FZ, let me offer an alternative frame - destroy the friend zone, turn it to ground zero, while at the same time escalating kino and building attraction, ultimately leading to seduction.

This is perhaps a simpler concept than it sounds, but will take willpower to execute, and a 100% commitment to your course of action.

Go hard, or go home. More than friends, or just friends. It's your choice, but pick and stick to it, or you risk becoming neither.

Start by reducing the amount of 'pure friend' activities you do. If she starts launching into some story about her problems, life etc. cut her off, control the frame, present the stronger reality and make it impossible for her to not live in.

In place of all the friend crap you'd usually do, dhv, be dominant, be alpha. Start being the fuckable prize instead of the sympathetic doormat.

I'm in no way an expert or guru, so I'd advise you brush up on kino elsewhere. Don't look for FZ kino, just kino in general.

One advantage with her being friends with you already is she's unlikely to resist your kino, provided you're subtle, read her responses in the right way, and use push pull.

Start with incidental stuff like brushing against her. Then touch her lightly on the arm, shoulder etc when emphasising a point/getting her attention. Perhaps move on to putting your arm round her, linking arms etc. It she perceives you as non-threatening and you play it right, then she's unlikely to resist.

If she's had a couple of drinks (and I mean a couple, not so she's drunk) then her inhibitions will be lower. You also want her isolated in an environment that's either non threatening or perhaps somewhere exciting.

Start with this stuff, then we can move on to k and f closes.

One final point - don't always be available to her. Cat string theory. If you'd always answer her calls, don't always answer. If you're always on messenger, don't be.

Scarcity = Value and this is an attractive trait indeed.
Author:  tekryder [ Fri Jun 25, 2010 10:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
some dam good advice
Author:  Zephyrine [ Thu Jul 01, 2010 5:50 am ]
Post subject: 
Firstly, I don't believe you are in the Friend Zone. I have loads of male friends, and I don't text any of them goodnight unless their mom just died or their girlfriend just gave them chlamydia.

However you can quickly fall into the FZ if you do not act fast. Women want strong, confident men. A strong, confident man takes what he wants and does not hesitate, so go in for the kill. If you wait too long, wondering how she feels, how she'll react, what she's thinking, she will dismiss you as yet another insecure, indecisive manboy.

Next time you're hanging out playfully insult her. When she gets sulky apologize and offer her a hug. Then mention that her heart is beating rapidly. Ask "do I make you nervous?" If she says yes, kiss her. If she says no, kiss her and then ask "what about that, does that make you nervous?" If you don't go sexual when you've got the shot, you will be forever doomed to the FZ.
Author:  Constantine00 [ Thu Jul 01, 2010 8:08 am ]
Post subject: 
I hear you about having a complicated history but the girl I loved the most I started out as friends and we became really close and I felt a connection to her like I never had anyone else and fell deeply in love. Based on what you say she said, I dunno if you're truly in that hell hole known as the "friendzone"...typically I'd say you're fucked in that case, move on but I defintely see hope for u bro...sorry I can't give you advice but I wanted to give you my opinion, I think you got this...good luck man
Author:  canadiandude [ Thu Jul 01, 2010 2:21 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks Zephyrine, always nice to get the female's view on the situation :)
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