I should point out I have not just been waiting around for this girl, I have been looking at other options, but she has definitely been in the back of my mind all along. Just a note, so it doesn't seem like I have one-itis
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| Author: | kimurawizard [ Tue Jun 15, 2010 3:26 am ] |
| Post subject: | Newbie with a specific question! |
Hey guys I have a pretty specific case I was hoping I could have some help with: So I met this girl at a hospital where I was doing one of my clinical affiliations (I recently graduated as a physical therapist). She is a respiratory therapist, and sometimes we would be on the same floor. I thought she was ridiculously hot (I would peg her as a HB9), but felt uncomfortable approaching her in that environment. Luckily, she had a friend in my department, and ate lunch with us a few times. Eventually one day the friend asked me, 'so you're single right?' I'm like, yeah. (I was very newly single at the time, just got out of a 2 year relationship). Long story short the girl had asked her friend to approach me and give me her number. So I got her number, called her, we went out on a date. I thought the date went really well, but I could be mistaken, because after that things just kinda fizzled out. We had gone out for drinks, and she brought up going out again during the date, so I thought that was a good sign. The only thing I can think of that may have thrown her off was I talked about this crazy fight I had had with my ex, but I only talked about it because she brought up her ex and his craziness. She was also newly single, btw. So, after some time of her being wishy washy, I asked her what the deal was. She said her ex had gone through her phone and they had had a huge fight, and that she wasn't ready to be in a new relationship yet. I said, okay, good luck with that. She obviously wasn't completely removed from her ex yet if he was in close enough proximity to be going through her phone... so I moved on for awhile. A couple of months later, I tried to text her, with not such a great response, as she was out of town. Now, another month or two later, I have facebook friended her. I sent her a message asking her how she's been. She replied like an hour later saying she's okay and asking how I am. I'm confused as to where to go from here. Should I just continue small talk? Or maybe throw in a cocky/funny line like "I understand you didn't want to fall in love with me too quickly before, but we can pick up where we left off now"....? What do you guys think? I don't want to mess this up. I really appreciate the help!!! Kimura |
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| Author: | kimurawizard [ Tue Jun 15, 2010 3:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
I should point out I have not just been waiting around for this girl, I have been looking at other options, but she has definitely been in the back of my mind all along. Just a note, so it doesn't seem like I have one-itis
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| Author: | bits [ Tue Jun 15, 2010 10:59 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Nah, it's one-itis. Short answer: Why don't you just call her, do some fluff talk and ask her out again? Long answer: What you've just done, is that you've given the facts. Now that is not what I'm interested in. I'm more interested in what you did that caused you two to not finish the pickup? Why haven't you immediately asked her out again? Why didn't you meet up at your place? If I read your story, I'd assume that you've done everything right. Accually, you had a headstart, since she gave her number without you having to do anything for it. Clearly she's interested, now it's up to you to remodel this interest into attraction. Go lunch together, do some pendant anchoring ( http://www.pualingo.com/pua-definitions ... anchoring/ ) Also, read this: http://www.fastseduction.com/guide/04_S ... date.shtml Good luck! |
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| Author: | kimurawizard [ Tue Jun 15, 2010 11:54 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Just read the two articles, thank you very much for your reply. I suppose I should elaborate on the part where it went wrong. Basically that is kinda what I'm confused about. I wasn't sure if it was me, like I messed up on the date, or if her ex drama was messing it up. I think it is unlikely that it was me on the date, because she was suggesting another date while we were still out, though that was around the middle of the date, and maybe I said something she didn't like towards the end? I don't know. Anyway, afterwards she texted me and said she had fun, etc. And I was like yeah we should do it again soon. It was a while ago so my memory is a bit fuzzy but I am pretty sure I called her to see what her schedule was like, got an "i'll let you know" sort of thing, and then no answer for like a week. Gave it one more shot through text, same sort of deal. Then when I was like..what's the deal? I got the whole apologetic text that her ex is causing drama and blabla so I was like kbye. The reason I don't just call her is because when I texted her a month or two ago, I didn't have a very favorable response. I was like, let's get together this week, and she was like "I'm out of town but I'll call you when I get back" or something like that, and then nothing. So I moved on again for awhile. Then she popped back into my head and I decided to look for her on facebook and friend her. I don't want what happened through text to happen again, so maybe through facebook she will feel less....threatened? I don't know. So you're saying I should just drop the facebook thing and call? Would that be weird because I've already messaged her? |
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| Author: | cataclysm [ Tue Jun 15, 2010 11:56 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
You are now her good friend. Next time when you two meet up again try to get sexual in the chat and move to deeper intimacy. That's the difference between a friend and a lover. |
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| Author: | kimurawizard [ Tue Jun 15, 2010 12:06 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Possible next message to her?: "I'm doing well! Graduated and just studying for the board exam and training a lot, hanging out with a lot of friends from school before we all go off in separate directions. How're things at (insert hospital name)? Listen I know you were scared to fall in love with me too quick before, but I'm willing to pick up where we left off  You free this week to get together?"
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