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| Odd girl says I challenge her. What now? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=134&t=62135 |
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| Author: | Goldeneye [ Sat Feb 13, 2010 3:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Odd girl says I challenge her. What now? |
HB8, met through mutuals, been friends for a couple months now. She's clearly very impressed with me on some level but I can't quite discern how or to what extent. She's newly single and it's like blood in the water and every guy wants a piece of her, and a few weeks ago we were out with our friends at a club, and she was the most popular girl in the joint that night, though I actually got to be alpha dog that evening because I'm a great dancer and I showed her some moves, and anytime a guy who clearly creeped her out came up I got rid of him, and she opted to spend a lot of her time that night with me. At the end of the night we were talking alone and she kept insisting out of nowhere that she wasn't drunk. She was kinda drunk, but having seen her drunk many times, not nearly to the level where she wouldn't remember or would behave out of character, IMO. I asked if she met anybody she liked, and she said no, and I expressed shock since she'd met pretty much every type of guy there is. She thought and added, "I like you. But I already knew you." I said, "Then when you've healed up a little, I'll take you out one night." She said she'd like that. The next day I followed up with her and she claimed she was drunk, effectively erasing the whole thing and making me look stupid after I'd put myself out there. The time we've spent together since has been mostly in extremes. We're either laughing our asses off or bickering till we're ready to hit each other. Sometimes she'll randomly be very affectionate, or take an article of my clothing and wear it around for a while, yet doesn't respond to several kinds of flirting. It's gotten to the point where other guys who wanna hit on her will wait until she's out of the room then come up and ask if we're together first. I'm shocked when they ask because I feel like she couldn't be more inconsistent, but this week, a bitter guy who gave up on trying to get her attention because she was more interested in fighting with me said to me, in what seemed to be total honesty after she walked away, that we clearly have something intense going and neither one of us sees it. That same night, she randomly whined to me that nobody wants her and she'll be alone forever, which is ridiculous so I didn't even bother responding to it. I can't ever get decent time with her in public because there's always someone else trying to break in, and I'm hesitant to try getting one-on-one time with her because of how she blew me off a few weeks ago, plus a mutual friend of ours who's extra protective and watches her like a hawk because she's easily manipulated. If I try any moves or casually ask her out alone, the objective friend will immediately tell her "He's trying to pick you up" or "You realize you just said you'd go on a date with him," and my game is blown. After a bad fight with HB last week I kind of decided I was done trying to figure it out. Last night I ran into her while I was out, and she alone for once but again, every guy in the place was on her, and I didn't bother saying hello. She eventually spotted me and came over trying to hug me, and I purposely stood by a wall turned away from her, freezing her out with my body language, and told her the other night left a bad taste in my mouth, it never ends well when we interact, and I think we shouldn't talk. She became very emotional and her eyes watered up and she kept trying to talk me out of it and finally blurted, "I don't know, I think I fight with you because you're the only guy who pushes me back. You challenge me." Now, I don't know if she realized when she said it, but that's of course one of the highest compliments a girl can give a guy. ...I don't know where the fuck this girl's head is, my game is really rusty, and I'm not sure how to proceed because of the past incident, or if it's even worth it. Thoughts? |
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| Author: | _Lothario_ [ Sun Feb 14, 2010 7:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Sounds like her head is in a weird spot. She wants YOU to want her. Be direct. Give her a choice. Let her make a decision. Tell her she needs to be up front and stop playing games. |
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| Author: | CroPua [ Sun Feb 14, 2010 8:30 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Or you can tell her directly something like. "Go out with me or dont, kuz i have other offers and i dont wanna play games with those girls who are interested" or you can play it... Surround yourself with other girls, and give those other girls more attention then to her. She will try to get back your attention, and than play it hard how those girls are cute (tell that in front of her)... Like give compliments to those girls in front of her, but dont compliment her. She'll be like WTF. |
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| Author: | Fathom [ Mon Feb 15, 2010 7:55 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
you need to grab the reins here. Sounds like she's in control - you put yourself out there and gave her the choice. it should be you doing the choosing, not her. throw negs. make yourself unavailable. or my personal favorite: when you talk to other girls around her, give them your full, square shouldered attention, but when you talk to her keep it slightly not straight at her, as if you can leave at any moment. Make jokes with her less hot friends, and don't try to catch her eye when you deliver the punch line. She'll want your attention back pretty fast.- then when you're ready to pounce you can unleash the sexiness of your full attention, but don't do it until you know you're about to close. |
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| Author: | Goldeneye [ Tue Feb 16, 2010 8:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Thanks, guys. Fathom's advice makes by far the most sense to me, but I'm intrigued (and confused?) that two guys before gave directly conflicting advice and basically said to walk the plank a second time and directly state my interest and intent, which seems to fly in the face of everything that's already happened since that's part of reason I'm stuck right now. Why do you guys think it would be a good idea to relinquish control and throw the ball into her court for a second time? In the meantime, by the way, we haven't talked or seen each other in several days. I basically broke contact with her after our last encounter. Should I be calling or texting her? Last time, when we left off she said she really wanted to talk things out, but I lightly closed her out and said I wasn't interested in having that conversation during last call at a bar. God, it's embarrassing how rusty I've gotten in a fairly short time. |
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| Author: | SzahnDhore [ Tue Feb 16, 2010 1:52 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
You've got to get your own priorities straight first. Are you just looking to score or do you want a long term relationship with her? Fathoms advice is a solid PUA-approach, but I can see trouble coming if you just want some fun and she wants commitment. That's why the other approach makes sense too. You've already spoken some of your mind to her, that's a good key to actually go on and sort out your and her agendas. I'd say this has gone beyond the tricks of the Art already and that you need to take that talk to her. She said she wanted it, so give her the opportunity and tell her the same stuff you've told us. A sledge of honesty can do wonders, but YOU must know what YOU want before the talk. It's worth it, definitely. There are so many IOI:s in your first post it's ridiculous, but it's not certain she realizes this herself. A good talk would sort stuff out and clean the slate. It might get you guys together and it will certainly end the confusion. Remember, being responsible and honest is a DHV as long as you remain firm and in charge. |
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| Author: | Goldeneye [ Tue Feb 16, 2010 7:27 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
This girl's definitely relationship material, and that's rare around here. I guess I'll talk to her soon. |
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