PUA Forum :: Went on 2 awesome dates. EX BF SHOWS UP, now what?

So I went on 2 dates with this girl and had the best time of my life with. She felt the same way about me, was showing me a lot of IOI's and even kissed me. I knew this is the girl I wanted to pursue a relationship with. Then she sends me this email...

Today is not the day you'd want to pick to be jealous of me.

I did not get to sleep in. Instead, I was up at 9 AM due to a knock at my front door. Which is weird because I wasn't expecting company.

Since then I have been on the worst emotional rollercoaster. Long story short, my ex flew all the way back here from NY. We broke up in April because he took a job in NY and I couldn't move because of school. That was the only reason.... Well, he convinced his boss to let him do his work from FL. He wants to move back. My head is reeling. Of all times he picks now?! Sigh.

I'm at a loss, and I'm frustrated. I have never been in this situation before. I told him that I went out with you last night, and that I've been talking with you and that hasn't changed his mind.

This isn't exactly how I saw my day play out. Not in the sligh test. This isn't the email I had wished to write today either. It doesn't change the fact that I had a wonderful time with you. I don't think I could even begin to convey where I'm at emotionally either.

I don't even know what to say. I'm still trying to process this myself.

So this is what I thought of sending back...

Spending these last couple nights with you were amazing. Eventhough we barely know each other, I felt a strong connection with you, and I really could see it developing into a relationship. I know that you are in a tough spot, and I cannot even imagine the feelings that you are forced to deal with right now. You definitely need some time to clear your head to make sense of all that is happening. Please let me know what you decide

Author:	richecker [ Wed Dec 16, 2009 4:15 am ]
Post subject:	Went on 2 awesome dates. EX BF SHOWS UP, now what?
So I went on 2 dates with this girl and had the best time of my life with. She felt the same way about me, was showing me a lot of IOI's and even kissed me. I knew this is the girl I wanted to pursue a relationship with. Then she sends me this email... Today is not the day you'd want to pick to be jealous of me. I did not get to sleep in. Instead, I was up at 9 AM due to a knock at my front door. Which is weird because I wasn't expecting company. Since then I have been on the worst emotional rollercoaster. Long story short, my ex flew all the way back here from NY. We broke up in April because he took a job in NY and I couldn't move because of school. That was the only reason.... Well, he convinced his boss to let him do his work from FL. He wants to move back. My head is reeling. Of all times he picks now?! Sigh. I'm at a loss, and I'm frustrated. I have never been in this situation before. I told him that I went out with you last night, and that I've been talking with you and that hasn't changed his mind. This isn't exactly how I saw my day play out. Not in the sligh test. This isn't the email I had wished to write today either. It doesn't change the fact that I had a wonderful time with you. I don't think I could even begin to convey where I'm at emotionally either. I don't even know what to say. I'm still trying to process this myself. So this is what I thought of sending back... Spending these last couple nights with you were amazing. Eventhough we barely know each other, I felt a strong connection with you, and I really could see it developing into a relationship. I know that you are in a tough spot, and I cannot even imagine the feelings that you are forced to deal with right now. You definitely need some time to clear your head to make sense of all that is happening. Please let me know what you decide

Author:	R-m [ Wed Dec 16, 2009 4:51 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Went on 2 awesome dates. EX BF SHOWS UP, now what?
Quote: So I went on 2 dates with this girl and had the best time of my life with. She felt the same way about me, was showing me a lot of IOI's and even kissed me. I knew this is the girl I wanted to pursue a relationship with. Then she sends me this email... Today is not the day you'd want to pick to be jealous of me. I did not get to sleep in. Instead, I was up at 9 AM due to a knock at my front door. Which is weird because I wasn't expecting company. Since then I have been on the worst emotional rollercoaster. Long story short, my ex flew all the way back here from NY. We broke up in April because he took a job in NY and I couldn't move because of school. That was the only reason.... Well, he convinced his boss to let him do his work from FL. He wants to move back. My head is reeling. Of all times he picks now?! Sigh. I'm at a loss, and I'm frustrated. I have never been in this situation before. I told him that I went out with you last night, and that I've been talking with you and that hasn't changed his mind. This isn't exactly how I saw my day play out. Not in the sligh test. This isn't the email I had wished to write today either. It doesn't change the fact that I had a wonderful time with you. I don't think I could even begin to convey where I'm at emotionally either. I don't even know what to say. I'm still trying to process this myself. So this is what I thought of sending back... Spending these last couple nights with you were amazing. Eventhough we barely know each other, I felt a strong connection with you, and I really could see it developing into a relationship. I know that you are in a tough spot, and I cannot even imagine the feelings that you are forced to deal with right now. You definitely need some time to clear your head to make sense of all that is happening. Please let me know what you decide Sounds cool, that last bit was a bit much though, "Please let me know what you decide." In this situation, a girl only needs time, so if you're telling her to tell you her decision, that means she has to decide quickly because there's a sense of urgency. Try "I know you'll decide what's best for you," or something, then just wait it out. You can try and see if you can cheer her up, if you can get close this is ultimate trust building stuff, but if she doesn't want you close, this is a spot where you bugging her might be stupid, and would have the most destructive effect on her... But that's just me.

Author:	richecker [ Wed Dec 16, 2009 5:50 am ]
Post subject:
Thanks Rm.. I definitely agree on changing the last line to what you suggested. I am sending the email out with that addition and we'll see what happens... As for the cheering up bit, I think I am going to let this email fly first and back off a bit.

Author:	BrianTampa [ Thu Dec 17, 2009 9:03 pm ]
Post subject:	reality check
this girl is either still hung up on her ex, or else her entire story is completely made up.

Author:	thebigtone [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 1:02 pm ]
Post subject:
Hey mate I would definitly put in, "if you want to talk, im only at the end of the phone" but dont force her to decide. That just keeps the door open no matter what the result and there is more than just 2 results, they could get back together and then split again very soon!

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Author:	samex [ Mon Dec 21, 2009 11:14 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Went on 2 awesome dates. EX BF SHOWS UP, now what?
Quote: Spending these last couple nights with you were amazing. Even though we barely know each other, I felt a strong connection with you, and I really could see it developing into a relationship. I know that you are in a tough spot, and I cannot even imagine the feelings that you are forced to deal with right now. You definitely need some time to clear your head to make sense of all that is happening. Please let me know what you decide When she doesn't respond back, you can blame that line right there....

Author:	Lucius [ Wed Dec 23, 2009 2:25 am ]
Post subject:
lol you guys are great. She is still "emotionally confused" and other shit? Like the guy above said she is still hung up on her boyfriend. Also last sentence was AFC. Tell her if she is still hung up on her boyfriend and not emotionally available then you cant be either, cuz you dont want to end up getting hurt also. Quote: We broke up in April because he took a job in NY and I couldn't move because of school. That was the only reason.... Well, he convinced his boss to let him do his work from FL. He wants to move back. My head is reeling. Of all times he picks now?! Sigh. Yeah bro, pretty much she is still in love with him, and probably he is already fucking her since they living together, thats a given. Sux, but what can you do.

Author:	TheGamer [ Sat Dec 26, 2009 4:09 pm ]
Post subject:
Definitely a hangup because they didn't split due to the love not being there or whatever, it's the fact that he moved. Therefore, there most likely is something going on and I wouldn't be surprised if you receive a 'We can't hang out' in the near future. She'll do what's best for her, even if it's not you. It sucks, but what can you do?

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