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| Running out of things to say https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=134&t=54430 |
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| Author: | Shadow-Flavour [ Sun Oct 25, 2009 12:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Running out of things to say |
Hey guys, I find myself running out of things to say if a girl says "I don't know" for example, last night I was talking to a girl at my college and she says that she's going to be gone in the winter, taking an 'off campus' term and I was like oh awesome, what's your plan? And she's like I don't know, I might just go home to arizona. And I tried to continue with, any thing special in arizona? again, she's like i dunno, just be home for the winter. If a girl keeps saying "I don't know" and I'm losing the conversation, what should I do? |
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| Author: | Reactionz [ Sun Oct 25, 2009 12:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | i don't know |
I don't know. Difficult is youview that space as something she should be filling. However if you flip it on its head and think of it as an oppotunity for you to talk, its alot easier! At the beggining, which am guessing you are? Is hard as the conversation doesn't flow as much. But why not be that interesting guy who ask amzing interesting questions that make her think! Read a little and i think you will find some... Keep in touch for your progress. Reaction |
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| Author: | Shadow-Flavour [ Sun Oct 25, 2009 5:18 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Yeah I would consider myself a beginner. I've been practicing for a little over 3 months now, and before that I never even went out and talked to girls or that many guys even so my conversation skills are still in the works. I'll keep the updates coming in the field reports section too. Thanks! |
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| Author: | Jethro [ Tue Oct 27, 2009 3:38 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
hey, I was just reading about being pasionate while talking to girls (which I completely agree) and it seems like your trying to make your conversation based on what will make her conforatable, don't talk about school, or something boring. Instead talk about how your a professional rock climber. Or about how you love to ski (just don't brag) then ask her about things she loves and you should get a better responce. Hope this helps. |
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| Author: | driftwood [ Sun Nov 01, 2009 8:32 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
This is a really significant issue that I think is addressed suprisingly little in the community. I'm still struggling with this myself but here's what I know. You have to become completely uninhibited conversationally. Inhibitions kill the ability for conversations to flow. Conversations are not what you may think. They are not about following or finding a good conversational "route". A good conversation is kinda like wandering around randomly in a forest. If you try to force of "build" the conversation, it is very easy to start going in a straight line and that just doesn't work. It will result in stilted conversations like you are experiencing. Conversations are built by following small little footholds that are found in the topic matter. The footholds are so small that when you are "trying", it doesn't seem like they are directions worth pursuing but in fact they are the only directions worth pursuing! You have to learn to be yourself. Being yourself is something that can be challenging for some people to do. The problem is, you cannot force yourself to be yourself. You cannot put "effort" into being yourself like you can put effort into other sorts of endeavors. The moment you are trying to force yourself to do something or restraining yourself from doing something, you are not being yourself. You can only learn to be yourself by observing yourself and noticing whenever you are forcing yourself to do something or not do something and slowly learn to not force yourself. You have to not care so much about what other people think of you. This is tough because you also have to be keenly aware of how other judge you (I know. I just contradicted what I said earlier. This is why pickup is tough). You gotta lower your own standards for the quality of conversation you have for yourself! Conversations also have a particular style. You have to adhere to this style or you will seem weird. There's a lot of leeway in the style though. The style consists of a lot of emotional expression. You gotta get used to being the center of attention and being under the spotlight. You have to create the frames and carry them (especially at the beginning before you've gotten the girl to invest). Also ask open ended rather than pointed questions. Expose more of yourself and your own opinions during the conversation. Don't be so invasive with the girl right away. Eventually, after you get better at the free flow of conversation, you gotta learn to guide the conversation where you want it to go but that's for later. |
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