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WHERE TOO FROM HERE?!?! STUFF MATERIAL DOESNT EXPLAIN! HELP!
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Author:  hurley509 [ Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:59 am ]
Post subject:  WHERE TOO FROM HERE?!?! STUFF MATERIAL DOESNT EXPLAIN! HELP!
Hey Guys,
Ive got a little dilemma with a girl im kinda seeing and have grown rather fond of.
I figure first off, il give you a backdrop of how we know eachother and how weve been interacting until us meeting up, and then since... and then any help you guys can give me to move it forward would be much appreciated.
I met this girl, lets call her Anna... about a month or so ago at my favourite watering hole (where else but HQ)
since then... we would send playful messages back and forth and usually she would instigate it, by sending me like, random thoughts she'd have that may relate to me in some way...
Added her to msn, and we would always have lively and annimated conversations there... and would speak generally every couple of days.
met up with her a second time, and actually wrote a feild report about it... for anyone who cares to scower through my profile and find it...
either way, we descided... on saturday to meet up again,... this time one on one
we planned to meet up in the city, then tram it to the beach to a place that I had 'sold to the hilt' to her,
Its a really chilled out spot, overlooking the bay
to start off with, conversation was kind of awkward small talk... and she drew attention to it, but in a funny way... so i knew that she understood that its because we actually LIKE eachother that the small talk was kind of hard at the time
once we got to the bar, and had a few drinks... coversation flowed far more naturally.... we were talking over a lot of things,... I read her palm,... I told her odd bits and peices that I know about the science of attraction,... which she was very interested in,.... it was a very relaxed conversation... perhaps not quite as much flirtiness as I would have liked.
By the time that were both pretty tanked, I suggest that we go and take a walk...
we go out to the jetty, and we were arm and arm... still talking some jibberish
as we got to the ledge of the jetty she got alittle quite and I said 'would u like to kiss me?!?"
and she was loike 'maybe'
and Im like... well come here then!
and we kissed, and to be honest... I have never felt that way from a kiss before...
It might have something to do with being drunk, But the only way I can describe it is a burst of tingly warmness!
akin to the feeling you get when a good pill hits.
I was hoping that it effected her in the same way
small talk once again, ensued til we got back to the tram... I remember saying at one point 'ya kno what.... I LIKE YOU!'.... and her being like "i like you too!"
lol. AFCish...
by the time we got back to both of our stops. we hugged, kissed and said goodbye
so far sounds good right?
I have been on MSN, once yesterday and once today
yesterday... i COULDNT SEEM TO GET A GOOD CONVO OUT OF HER, ALOT OF ONE WORD ANSWERS
AND TODAY MUCH THE SAME
yeh she did elaborate a little... but ya know... not the same
so,... I feel like its still "ON"
however, I think i need a new course of action now
I was thinking of just being a little bit unavailable for a week or so
or, I need to do something to AMPLIFY the attraction, because while i know it is there.... I feel it is very still at the moment
ANY IDEAS?!?!?!!?!
Author:  hurley509 [ Mon Apr 13, 2009 5:25 am ]
Post subject:  :P
any help?!?
Author:  CaptRow [ Mon Apr 13, 2009 2:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
i dont see why you just dont go out with her again. i mean, you 2 are dating and all. she's probably busy man, the more you sweat it, the more paranoid you get. she obviously really likes you dude, so dont sweat it. also, give her some space from time to time until you 2 are solid. good luck mate!
Author:  Teen [ Mon Apr 13, 2009 4:29 pm ]
Post subject: 
i'd freeze her out so she'll be wanting you more. coz i can see this as cat strinng theory...she's got you, but now what? thats what shes thinkin, so maybe ask to her actually be your girlfriend etc
Author:  TracedInAir [ Mon Apr 13, 2009 6:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
I've learned something from experience. NEVER flat-out tell a girl that you like her. You can hint at it, but if you tell her flat-out, SHE has control. You don't want that; you need to stay in control. Once she has control, she has you already, and it's no more fun. Wait until she tells you that she likes you, then don't answer her directly; instead, casually change the subject, yet communicate stronger interest. Push-pull, my friend.

Now freeze her out, "move on", and wait for her to come back to you.
Author:  tspooner90 [ Mon Apr 13, 2009 8:12 pm ]
Post subject: 
I suggest you do something alpha male, something that will stick in her mind. This may be alittle tactless but try making her jealus. Put a rose and a girl friends name(doesn't even have to be a real person) or something on your display name, make sure she knows your not hers. Your still the alpha male who enjoys her company but has plenty more from other sources..
Like the MM, when engaging a group ignore the target but continue to captivate her interest by showing social proof. your proof should be that your a prize to women.

If she doesn't notice that perhaps something more intense, i think she enjoys attention, make her earn yours.or else you will never be equal.

much love
Author:  Hypnotix [ Fri Apr 17, 2009 7:58 am ]
Post subject: 
Or how bout this....I run into this prob alot and its been a very big sticking point for me...

It sounds like she genuinely likes you....Prob is that she feels just as awkward or even more awkward than you do trying to re-spark that attraction and good vibing yall have shared previously.

You just have to to take charge and make her feel comfortable like she felt before with you....

And she's not gonna help you much (even though she likes you) b/c its not her role nor has she ever had to learn it being the female. So you need to find a way, things to do, to reinitialize that comfort.

She's def into, you just gotta make sure things stay comfortable before she feels too uncomfortable to progress in the relationship....Its all about comfort....

Things Ive had work in the past is take her on some kind of eventfyl date where yall are doing something fun so all the pressure isnt on you are her to keep the comfort at a managable level....After you hang out a bit it should be easier to get back to progressing things
Author:  Teen [ Fri Apr 17, 2009 6:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
what i do every time i think a girl likes me and i don't want to tell them i like them coz it shows inferiority and can be embarrassing is say to her (best done by text)

"don't you hate it when someone doesn't tell you they like you. it really annoys, especially coz alot of the time i would of done something too x"

that line has worked on every girl i used it on except 1 out of around 20! i recommend it to any rising PUA, and i made it myself. i call it the "pressure technique" as it puts alot of pressure on them if they like you, which results in them telling you! :)

(if you use this technique and don't get the result you were after, PM me and i'll help you out as i've had girls that didnt admit to it at first, but after some more they eventually caved in)

-teen
Author:  kranked [ Sun Apr 19, 2009 5:34 pm ]
Post subject: 
You shot yourself in the foot with the AFC comment about liking her. Girls enjoy the chase just as much as we do, they just play the opposing role. After that comment the chase lost some of its excitement. You may be able to withdraw that comment with a little push/pull/freezeout magic but beyond that I'm not sure. Aggresively pursuing is also going to make you look AFC because she already knows whats up and can quite clearly see through your mask. Be willing to let this one go if she has clearly lost interest, this is how oneitis develops. Hope some of that helps. Good luck.
Author:  hurley509 [ Wed Apr 22, 2009 11:26 pm ]
Post subject:  :(
In the end, my intuition was right. the one word answers WERE leading down a bad road,... i gave her a few sms's that weekend and she finally descided to tell em that she was seeing someone else, and also told me that she hoped we could be freinds. I oprobably ruined any chance of getting back with her by telling her how i felt at that moment (which was genuinely hurt because i was really starting to like her). telling her i liked her early probably played a part in fucking this up for me, so did being alittle bit stilted when i last saw her maybe>? this sucks tho..
Author:  Teen [ Thu Apr 23, 2009 7:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
unlucky man, i've had that pain from an ex-oneitis.

its very AFC to tell a girl you like her before she has told you because it usually creeps them out if there not into you which ruins your chances.

and DEFO make sure you don't come on too strong, that'll creep them out even if they do like you!

-teen
Author:  hurley509 [ Sat Apr 25, 2009 1:01 am ]
Post subject:  .
Through my msging back during the week il throw ya an exerpt and see what you think i should do and see if u think its completely over

i sent her a fake msg to show preselection, hought maybe it would arouse her jealousy i wrote.

"lol no not tonight ellie. i gotta play my basketball... maybe saturday if your a good girl"

then she replies "how you got georgia and ellie mixed up il never know"

and im like "half asleep quickly scrolling thru numbers on my new phone i can"

and shes like "OK, Jarrad"

an hour or so later im like " you got an emo body double getting around the city, lol, freaky!"

shes like "It was me"

and i write later on "you wish you ratbag. she is way cooler"

she writes back "im offended"

(then for some reason i went a bit AFC)

im like "why it weas obvious i was joking?"

she was like "so am i, I feel like death give me a break!"

then im like "you dont like talking to me anymore do you>?"

and shes like "your really drammatic. if i didnt wanna talk to you i wouldnt reply. would you rather me not?"

and i was like "yeh good point. I can be a little overanalytical at times. have a good weekend"

is there anything alive in this do you think?!?!?!?!

when i think about it,m when she said she is seeing someone she never said that she was stopping seeing me? is it still worth trying?

the way i see it is, yeh i got other girls that i can get. but i still dont think the goose is fully cooked on this one IF I CAN GET HER BACK IN THE STATE SHE WAS IN BEFORE... where we would just message random to eachother, and where we would carry on like that. i feel i could do it if i could bring that vibe back but i fear i may have already come across too needy? i know that you can go back in time with chics,... but how should i do it?
Author:  hurley509 [ Sat Apr 25, 2009 1:06 am ]
Post subject: 
to quote brad P
Quote:
Women like men to pursue them. If she says "no", stop, but *don't beat yourself up about it*. Continue hanging out, keep having fun, then try again later. Women don't really mean "no" most of the time; it's just that they have an internal clock as to how you are supposed to advance, and often it lags behind reality. But women respect men to take the initiative. So if she ignores you, ask her out. Women enjoy the pursuit, the chase, the drama, the romance, the sexual tension.

Women don't find it disrespectful if you make a move. They find it exciting to have a chance to tell you no, or to slow down etc. Example: guy who kept getting back at it after she said "no". She told him: "You know what I like about you? That when I tell you "no", you're not bothered by it. Other guys act just like big babies. I like that you're not a big baby".

Women know that they need to put their foot down. It's very natural for men to pull forward, and for women to stall them. It's the dance of dating. You try to move forward, she tries to move you back.
Author:  Conker [ Sat Apr 25, 2009 10:12 am ]
Post subject: 
Wow, good advice from Brad P.

Hurley you spotted that you slipped up by saying "Hey I was joking" and then made it worse by going "You don't like talking to me anymore do you" which was really out of the blue, from her perspective.

Force yourself to remember to keep a positive, happy facade, no matter WHAT you're feeling, and when in doubt, or when posessed by feelings to say something negative - do nothing. Wait it out.

It's never too late to be positive. You MIGHT have a chance - but your only chance is to be cool and have fun, that's all you can do. Make it seem like that was a rare slip up, not by telling her directly, but by what you're saying and doing, being fun and positive. Not overly so, though :) don't try too hard, keep imagining what she would want to see. If you read your conversation again (the one you just posted) with a clear, and positive mind, you can see what you did wrong and it should help for next interaction.
Author:  RuleBreaker [ Sat Apr 25, 2009 10:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Adventure
Quote:
Wow, good advice from Brad P.

Hurley you spotted that you slipped up by saying "Hey I was joking" and then made it worse by going "You don't like talking to me anymore do you" which was really out of the blue, from her perspective.

Force yourself to remember to keep a positive, happy facade, no matter WHAT you're feeling, and when in doubt, or when posessed by feelings to say something negative - do nothing. Wait it out.

It's never too late to be positive. You MIGHT have a chance - but your only chance is to be cool and have fun, that's all you can do. Make it seem like that was a rare slip up, not by telling her directly, but by what you're saying and doing, being fun and positive. Not overly so, though Smile don't try too hard, keep imagining what she would want to see. If you read your conversation again (the one you just posted) with a clear, and positive mind, you can see what you did wrong and it should help for next interaction.
This is solid advice, very alpha without the gimmicks.

"You don't like talking to me anymore do you" is classic AFC. It's also something I probably said to at least two girls I had long term crushes on in highschool.

It sounds like you had her. You guys went on an adventure and you were very direct and alpha with the Mystery K close. I think the "I like you!" comment can even be a positive thing if delivered at the right time (I envision with kino, arm around her) and with a FUN attitude. The serious "I like you" is going to play your committment card too early, the FUN "I like you! :D" is just another one of those goofy things you go to push girls' buttons, it doesn't intimidate them. That's just my own opinion tho.

The texting was a little rough, it sounded needy. I don't know where in the world you are, but in America "ratbag" is both a little odd and a little harsh in my opinion. I'd use dork or nerd.

I think what happened man is that once you got in (after the K close) I think your brain went through the traditional fucking up process and jacked your game. You were saying what you felt instead of screening it first through the PUA filter. Once you get that rapport you can back off a little from the early cocky/funny stuff and the hardcore push/pull techniques and go more legit connection and gambits. You may have to use some of the early game techniques to get back in. Maybe suggest another adventure and re-woo her?

"Keep imagining what she would like to see"

That's a really good performance practice tip Conker.

Breaker
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