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Need Help about a girl at college
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Author:  Skittlez [ Fri Feb 20, 2009 11:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Need Help about a girl at college

okay i started college this year, about 3 months back when college began i met this girl on a night out, we didnt get together but there were a lot of photos of us kissing on the cheek and neck etc...however we were both extremely drunk!

Few weeks later found out the girl likes at the accomodation next to me and since then we spoke occasionaly on msn and text now and again, but the past few weeks we've become a lot closer.

The thing is, we are both in what are now very long distance relationships because weve both left home for college and we discuss them quite a bit to eachother, she knows i am looking to end my relationship soon (not for any reasons to do with her), and she says that if i break up with my girfriend that makes her want to end it with her boyfriend more, but she's still scared too.

She gives me lots of IOI's such as texts me asking if she can come to my room for a chat, bodylanguage is very good, great eye contact etc, but obviously because she is in a relationship she's never made it blindingly obvious she likes me that way....but im relatively confident she does.

I need help on what to do to try really break out of the kind of friendly zone, and how to really begin creating very high levels of attracting between the 2 of us. We speak often on msn and face to face, we text every other day or so, should i increase this or decrease etc? Help me out please Thanks

Author:  zhukaching [ Sat Feb 21, 2009 12:28 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Need Help about a girl at college

Quote:
The thing is, we are both in what are now very long distance relationships because weve both left home for college and we discuss them quite a bit to eachother, she knows i am looking to end my relationship soon (not for any reasons to do with her), and she says that if i break up with my girfriend that makes her want to end it with her boyfriend more, but she's still scared too.
this is quite obvious that she wants to be with you. but she needs to have a more secure feeling because you are still with your gf. BUT.. if she is into you good enough, her bf will not be a problem.

investment theory.. i bet she probably invested alot (emotion, time, money...etc) into her current bf.. so comparing to you whos a guy she just met in a colleague for a while.. she wouldn't want to risk it unless she is totally secure to be with you.

heres what you can do. play that hot n cold stuff. dont find her THAT often and do things like not replying phone call/sms in an instant. these action make her feel like a loss and she will work herself to try to get it back (investment). the more she invest the more shes into you.

personally letting your current gf off first isn't a good thing to do, from my experience, existing girlfriend can be very useful in setting up the hot n cold stuff. and by letting your girlfriend off first, you are telling her "im fully into you" and she's gonna hold the decision and she rules the game..

Author:  Skittlez [ Sat Feb 21, 2009 7:39 pm ]
Post subject: 

thanks man, thats a great idea and ill definatly do it, when i think about i have probably been texting and speaking on msn to her too much, thanks for the advice

Author:  KooLsidez [ Sun Feb 22, 2009 10:04 am ]
Post subject: 

even if you break it off with your gf now (which you should do at some point to actually make yourself available) you can definitely still give this girl that hot n cold stuff zhuka was talking about

essentially, a good start, like you said, is to stop making yourself so available to her, but if you break it off with your gf, talk to other girls and make it known to this girl that you ARE talking to other girls and make it seem like you have options, even if you really want to pursue this girl. In fact, this might even be better, because it might give her the impression "i better start trying to get him quick before he starts goin for another girl".

So, if you play it cool and relaxed and also throw in that jealousy factor, you can definitely turn the situation in your favor.

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