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She asked to bring a girlfriend on our date
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=134&t=196785		 Page 1 of 2
Author:  msamc [ Tue Apr 19, 2016 11:41 pm ]
Post subject:  She asked to bring a girlfriend on our date
Hey guys, first time I post, so please let me know if I'm posting in the wrong section.

My friend Jenny (a girl I hooked up with a while back and remained friends with) brought over Maria for a drink with me. Two weeks later, the 3 of us met again for dinner - after what Jenny told me she had introduced Maria to me because she thought we might get along...

I asked Jenny for Maria's cell so that I would ask her on a date; we texted for a few days. I asked her out for dinner and got this:

ME: Hey Maria, wsup?
ME: I'll be in Paris early next week..
ME: Would you like to have dinner on Monday!
MARIA: All good, how r you? Would be nice, my girlfriend is in town that day. Would you mind she will come with me?
ME: No problem, I'm not jealous ;-)
MARIA: That's great

Was not sure what to respond when she asked if she could bring a friend...

1 hour later, Jenny posted a picture on FB of her, Maria and a random guy in a restaurant... Wondering if they're trying to make me jealous in anticipation of the monday dinner...

Any opinions?
Author:  Chief [ Wed Apr 20, 2016 1:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She asked to bring a girlfriend on our date
Sounds like she asked to bring her friend along purely because of logistical constraints. I don't think it means anything. I also doubt that she's trying to make you jealous. Never assume that things are about you when they very well might not be. You're not the center of the universe.

After Monday, be sure to set up a time to meet her 1 on 1 if you can.
Author:  R.C [ Wed Apr 20, 2016 8:40 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She asked to bring a girlfriend on our date
Why are you trying to let him down gently Chief?
Quote:
Hey guys, first time I post, so please let me know if I'm posting in the wrong section.

My friend Jenny (a girl I hooked up with a while back and remained friends with) brought over Maria for a drink with me. Two weeks later, the 3 of us met again for dinner - after what Jenny told me she had introduced Maria to me because she thought we might get along...

I asked Jenny for Maria's cell so that I would ask her on a date; we texted for a few days. I asked her out for dinner and got this:

ME: Hey Maria, wsup?
ME: I'll be in Paris early next week..
ME: Would you like to have dinner on Monday!
MARIA: All good, how r you? Would be nice, my girlfriend is in town that day. Would you mind she will come with me?
ME: No problem, I'm not jealous ;-)
MARIA: That's great

Was not sure what to respond when she asked if she could bring a friend...

1 hour later, Jenny posted a picture on FB of her, Maria and a random guy in a restaurant... Wondering if they're trying to make me jealous in anticipation of the monday dinner...

Any opinions?
You'd go out with her because she's cute. That why you got her number. But why would she go out with you?

In other words, you're jumping steps. Agreeing to go out with you is a commitment. Commitment requires investment. Investment is a byproduct of interest. Just because she's attracted doesn't mean she's interested.

Being interested implies she got a pretty good sense of who you are - and she likes it - meaning she would be comfortable enough to meet you one on one. Right now, she isn't. That's why she wants to bring the friend.

So two tips for you. One, don't jump steps. Two, the only time her bringing a girlfriend on a date is cool is if you're having a threesome later.
Author:  msamc [ Wed Apr 20, 2016 10:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She asked to bring a girlfriend on our date
Hey Chief, it might very well be purely logistical and I might be overthinking it... But I guess if she really wanted, she would have asked her friend to make other plans...

RC, I appreciate that the world does not revolve around me, hahaha... But I find that lots of girls actually put a lot of thought behind their Facebook posts and Instagram pics. Since Jenny has not typically posted pics of her and Maria in the past, and that she posted right after I texted Maria, while they were having dinner together, I figured there might be smthng there... But will probably never know...

Anyway, do any of you have any insight on what I SHOULD have responded when she asked to bring her friend? I figured afterward something along the lines of "Don't worry, if you're friend is in town and you want to see, we can do dinner another time" to show I'm easy going but still mean business...

As for my next moves, obviously will organize a cool place for dinner and invite them both... Will probably put an emphasis on talking to Maria's friend (maybe to get Maria to seek some attention). Any ideas?
Author:  R.C [ Wed Apr 20, 2016 12:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She asked to bring a girlfriend on our date
Quote:
Anyway, do any of you have any insight on what I SHOULD have responded when she asked to bring her friend? I figured afterward something along the lines of "Don't worry, if you're friend is in town and you want to see, we can do dinner another time" to show I'm easy going but still mean business...
I would've said "no". Also your idea would've been fine.

Point is you shouldn't have asked her out like a loose canon. Letting girls string you along is just as bad as going all in before you even see your hand. Way too soon, as obviously she wasn't comfortable enough with the idea.
Author:  neo87 [ Wed Apr 20, 2016 12:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She asked to bring a girlfriend on our date
I'm seeing it as friendzone tbh. Not really seeing anything that would imply she has romantic interest or sees it as a date.
Author:  Chief [ Thu Apr 21, 2016 2:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She asked to bring a girlfriend on our date
Quote:
MARIA: All good, how r you? Would be nice, my girlfriend is in town that day. Would you mind she will come with me?
Everyone,

This is the line that made me suspect that this was primarily a logistical matter. There may have been something lost in translation (I guess this was originally in French because Paris), but when someone says that their friend is "in town that day," it usually means that the friend is coming from far away and they already had those plans way ahead of time. The friend is likely sleeping over and it would be very strange to expect the friend to "make other plans" when it's entirely possible that the friend doesn't even know anyone else in the city.
Author:  JackZero [ Thu Apr 21, 2016 2:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She asked to bring a girlfriend on our date
Quote:
Quote:
MARIA: All good, how r you? Would be nice, my girlfriend is in town that day. Would you mind she will come with me?
Everyone,

This is the line that made me suspect that this was primarily a logistical matter. There may have been something lost in translation (I guess this was originally in French because Paris), but when someone says that their friend is "in town that day," it usually means that the friend is coming from far away and they already had those plans way ahead of time. The friend is likely sleeping over and it would be very strange to expect the friend to "make other plans" when it's entirely possible that the friend doesn't even know anyone else in the city.
I don't know if it was a logistical problem or in the friendzone. I do know that the OP must have found this girl attractive or else he wouldn't have asked her out to dinner. Instead he waited for the friend to say that she thought the two would have gotten along well. So no moves made the first time and then no moves made the second time, so if she found him initially attractive the feeling may have worn off by the time he decided to ask her out to dinner.
Author:  neo87 [ Thu Apr 21, 2016 3:03 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She asked to bring a girlfriend on our date
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
MARIA: All good, how r you? Would be nice, my girlfriend is in town that day. Would you mind she will come with me?
Everyone,

This is the line that made me suspect that this was primarily a logistical matter. There may have been something lost in translation (I guess this was originally in French because Paris), but when someone says that their friend is "in town that day," it usually means that the friend is coming from far away and they already had those plans way ahead of time. The friend is likely sleeping over and it would be very strange to expect the friend to "make other plans" when it's entirely possible that the friend doesn't even know anyone else in the city.
I don't know if it was a logistical problem or in the friendzone. I do know that the OP must have found this girl attractive or else he wouldn't have asked her out to dinner. Instead he waited for the friend to say that she thought the two would have gotten along well. So no moves made the first time and then no moves made the second time, so if she found him initially attractive the feeling may have worn off by the time he decided to ask her out to dinner.
Yeah I can see the argument for logistics, but from her messages, I'm just not seeing interest. She's introduced to him by a friend. Then 2 weeks later the 3 go to dinner again. Then AFTER dinner, he asks the friend for the number and some shit about "you 2 would get on well." THEN its a few days of texting. So it's a soft number close...then I see he's sending 3 unanswered messages and her responses are pretty laid back. The whole thing just sounds pretty friendly to me. Sure, the friend being there could be logistics, I'd say even if the friend werent coming, OP is communicating more as a friend.
Author:  Chief [ Thu Apr 21, 2016 4:18 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She asked to bring a girlfriend on our date
Quote:
if she found him initially attractive the feeling may have worn off by the time he decided to ask her out to dinner.
Quote:
but from her messages, I'm just not seeing interest.
Maybe you guys are right, but for my personal style it's kinda irrelevant anyway. I don't necessarily need a girl attracted over texts in order to attract and seduce her when we finally get a chance to meet face to face. Most of the time I don't even try to attract or keep girls attracted via text. I mostly just use it for logistics purposes, planning the meet.

So my main concern for texts would be logistics. Regardless of whether she's interested, she just has to be interested enough to meet me, which really doesn't take much if the logistics make it convenient to do so. Even if she saw me as just a friend at that point, I'm at least charming enough of a friend to warrant a meet if both of our schedules allow. Then I can turn her on like crazy irl

Weirdly enough, in a lot of the cases where I did establish a great level of attraction and flirting via text, they were more hesitant to meet me in person.
Author:  JackZero [ Thu Apr 21, 2016 4:25 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She asked to bring a girlfriend on our date
Quote:
Quote:
if she found him initially attractive the feeling may have worn off by the time he decided to ask her out to dinner.
Quote:
but from her messages, I'm just not seeing interest.
Maybe you guys are right, but for my personal style it's kinda irrelevant anyway. I don't necessarily need a girl attracted over texts in order to attract and seduce her when we finally get a chance to meet face to face. Most of the time I don't even try to attract or keep girls attracted via text. I mostly just use it for logistics purposes, planning the meet.

So my main concern for texts would be logistics. Regardless of whether she's interested, she just has to be interested enough to meet me, which really doesn't take much if the logistics make it convenient to do so. Even if she saw me as just a friend at that point, I'm at least charming enough of a friend to warrant a meet if both of our schedules allow. Then I can turn her on like crazy irl

Weirdly enough, in a lot of the cases where I did establish a great level of attraction and flirting via text, they were more hesitant to meet me in person.
I agree with you on the text thing. My point is that there were two in person opportunities that weren't made. No flirtation initiated on two occasions and then trying to take her out on a date.
Author:  Chief [ Thu Apr 21, 2016 7:29 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She asked to bring a girlfriend on our date
Quote:
there were two in person opportunities that weren't made. No flirtation initiated on two occasions and then trying to take her out on a date.
Personally I wouldn't have made any moves on those 2 occasions, either. They weren't alone.

But anything that happens now or whatever this girl is feeling is entirely dependent on him actually having made a decent impression by being a cool dude and being fun over text. I'm just assuming the best possible scenario.
Author:  paxis [ Thu Apr 21, 2016 8:41 am ]
Post subject:  Re: She asked to bring a girlfriend on our date
Quote:
Quote:
there were two in person opportunities that weren't made. No flirtation initiated on two occasions and then trying to take her out on a date.
Personally I wouldn't have made any moves on those 2 occasions, either. They weren't alone.

But anything that happens now or whatever this girl is feeling is entirely dependent on him actually having made a decent impression by being a cool dude and being fun over text. I'm just assuming the best possible scenario.

I disagree. I'd flirt with both. Or if they were close friends, I'd flirt with the one I wanted, but I'd "befriend" the other one. That way their conversation past our meet would be "that guy's sexy, I'd do the sweet love with him if I were you". Comfort would have been obviously built when we were alone, but flirting/teasing that's not really a big deal.
Author:  Chief [ Thu Apr 21, 2016 3:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She asked to bring a girlfriend on our date
Quote:
I disagree. I'd flirt with both. Or if they were close friends, I'd flirt with the one I wanted, but I'd "befriend" the other one. That way their conversation past our meet would be "that guy's sexy, I'd do the sweet love with him if I were you". Comfort would have been obviously built when we were alone, but flirting/teasing that's not really a big deal.
Hello let me introduce you to my friend ASD (Anti-Slut Defense).

Actually not my friend. Actually my worst enemy.

Being super discreet with your flirting is not only sexy but also lowers ASD.

Also what you're advising doesn't exactly fit in the context of the entire situation OP has described.
Author:  paxis [ Thu Apr 21, 2016 3:23 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: She asked to bring a girlfriend on our date
By being flirty I meant not showing sexual interest, but only teasing. If your behavior isn't that much different with them, and without showing sexual interest, I doubt it would be counter-productive. Plus, her friend would validate your persona to the other girl, which would raise the probabilities of having another date without her friend.
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