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Did i mess this up (confort zone)
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Author:  rom9 [ Fri Jan 01, 2016 4:58 pm ]
Post subject:  Did i mess this up (confort zone)
Hi Guys
I have usually struggled a bit with building comfort after the initial attraction and banter part. Thanks to feedback from this forum I am getting better. I have a recent case here that is a definite learning curve for me. Any inputs are appreciated.

I know a girl from my dance lessons. She is slightly taller to me but I make light of it and I can make her laugh all the time we have spent together yet (3- 4 meetings in the last 2 months). I recently started to chat to her on Facebook (just a message a day or one in two days or so). Role playing (me as Alladin and she as jasmine). Chats going well. I invite her for a drink last Monday but she had a meeting with her friends and she asked me to join in. I did not go as I hung around with friends and told her I will join in as soon as I am done with my friends. She took it well and asked me the next day how my night went and all. All good till here.

I asked her two days ago what she would ask the Genie to grant her as a wish. She said "I want to see a light in her life in 2016 to show me what to do with my life...hahahha and I want a ticket around the world :P " her words. I took the hahahah as a light comment and said " if u close your eyes u will see the answer. I know u will see me and in that case let me bring the Genie lamp and light ur way through 2016 :P" (I had to make the conversation a bit more flirty since I did not want to end up in the friend zone before I ask her out again)

She usually replies immediately. But it has now been 24 hours and she has seen the comment but not replied. I haven't even wished her happy new year waiting for a response

What do u think my next move is. I feel like she might have been offended that I was not sensitive to her opening up about a light in her life and so on (that i misjudged but only because I thought she was joking too)

Thanks guy !
Sharp learning curve here.
Author:  rom9 [ Sun Jan 03, 2016 1:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did i mess this up (confort zone)
Can anyone respond to this one please. Thanks
Author:  Dragula [ Sun Jan 03, 2016 1:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did i mess this up (confort zone)
You're in the friend zone

She sees you as a dance partner, hence she only invites you to the group hang outs and not on one one. It's because you're using dancing as a way to indirectly hack and meet girls.

I am all for social circle game, but your intentions haven't been conveyed to this girl at all.

Do yourself a favour, tell her you find her attractive (word it differently if you want) and that you would like to get to know her and invite her for a private drink. ONE ON ONE ONLY.

If she doesn't accept your invitation, stop wasting your time and chase other girls. In fact, I would chase other girls right now.

You need to practise some cold approach, that way you will know how to seduce in your social circle effectively because you've been in the trenches.

From what you've told me, you have come to this conclusion that she attracted to you, but her evidence suggests otherwise.

Get direct and put your mother fucking balls on the line. Read my sig thread.
Author:  rom9 [ Fri Jan 08, 2016 4:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did i mess this up (confort zone)
Dude thanks a lot for that.

Yes indeed I use dancing as a hack. BUT, I am a passionate dancer and although I did start dancing to meet women, dancing is my first preference when I am out.
Its an easy way for me to DHV and be myself and still impress women.

In bars and clubs (given that I am a bit short and average looking guy) its very hard to make cold approaches. Now I know its not really dependent on looks or race or height but evidence suggests otherwise !
It does not stop me (on of my exes was a 6ft tall model) but it makes the dating pool much smaller and much tougher for me !

I am not wasting time on one girl. At any giving time I have at least 2-3 in the pot. But I am new to handling more than one girl after years of not even having one at times.

U r right I need to be a bit more ballsy and I am trying that all the time. Just that I feel environments like bars and clubs are not for people like me. What say u ?
Author:  MrNorth [ Mon Jan 11, 2016 10:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did i mess this up (confort zone)
Quote:
She usually replies immediately. But it has now been 24 hours and she has seen the comment but not replied. I haven't even wished her happy new year waiting for a response
Any updates? Its been some days now. U heard something from her?
Author:  Cross De Lena [ Sun Jan 17, 2016 6:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did i mess this up (confort zone)
I'm interested also in updates :)
Author:  rom9 [ Thu Jan 28, 2016 5:08 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Did i mess this up (confort zone)
Quote:
I'm interested also in updates :)

Sorry about not updating.
So what I did was not to contact her again but we do keep running into the dance club
I met her a week ago and I completely ignored her while dancing and making other (possible targets) laugh.

To my surprise she came up to me and asked me for a dance. Not it could be a strong IOI but i think I am gonna let it cool down.

I tend to loose interest in a girl if she does not show interest back. So gonna move on I think but keep flirting whenever I can (so I do not end up in the friend zone)
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