Hey guys,
I have the following mid-game issue with a girl:
- Age: mid-twenties; Looks: Face 7, Body 8; Career woman, well educated, sharp, but consequently rather cold, rational, over-confident character; has been playing the dating game for 2y to find the optimal partner
- 1st and only lay at the end of the 4th date. Banged her quite dominantly from behind (no hair pulling or facial though) and she came quite loud with some of the strongest contractions I've ever witnessed.
Timeline:
- Week 1: Met through T*nder, 2 dates (kiss on first date)
- then I was absent 3 weeks for work, during that time: we chatted about or 3 times a week, bantering and sending us ecard memes, both initiated in turns with her writing quite warm at times; we SPAM once
- Week 4: 3 dates; sex on 4th date in total;
- then again I was absent 3 weeks for work; this is when things started to change and she began to get colder; she didn't initiate texts anymore, it was always up to me but she replied, rather shortly; SPAM once, there she seemed ok but emotionally distant; she got rude once when i tried to initiate sexting but nevertheless agreed to a date I set up for the first day of my return;
- Week 8 (current): The date happened, we talked about the future, family plans, and we seemed to match well content-wise; however I wasn't allowed up to her apartment after date as she said she had her period; I nevertheless weaseld myself in but could nothing happened, not even a kiss (she seemed to distant for me to start)
- I've been texting her a few times the following days, asking her what she's doing and eventually also trying to set up a date; she didn't respond, then I went back on T*nder to check and found her profile there. The next day, as she hadn't responded, I confronted her about it and she got very defensive arguing we never said we're exclusive. I lost my temper and told her that girls like this were not my cup of tea a bit like I had enough of her. In retrospect this was wrong of me, but she could also have reacted nicer. The next day I suggested we meet "to talk" as arguing over chat is the worst thing to do. She told me she could perhaps see me the same evening but did not confirm that until 8 pm at which time I had made other plans and suggested to reschedule. I think she took it badly as the next date she was even shorter than usual and only offered shitty time slots to meet her again (saturday morning or only weekday evenings).
My own analysis: I was sure the deal was sealed after sex
, but it wasn't. I became more emotionally invested than her (or at least acted like it), I kept writing her first, sometimes 4 days apart, with her never initiating anymore. This may have been seen as needy, however I never flooded her with texts and hardly expressed more feelings than she did. She obviously began going colder, not initiating texts anymore after week 4 but nevertheless agreeing to see me on her terms, although quite spread out.So which strategy to use:
1) Meet her again soon on her terms (even if it's a shitty weekday), leave a positive impression without raising the topic our argument again. This is what my female friends recommend, arguing that otherwise she might lose interest because of NOT seeing me.
2) take a strategic step back myself, let her wait 1 week (or 2 or 3), to leave her space and time to miss me or lose any bad impression she might have. Perhaps she will re-initiate, or I can start a new move myself, acting like I was very busy. This seems to be the approach favored everywhere in the community.
About myself: I am a rather (above average) good looking guy, my female friends think I look more above average than her, well-educated and travelled. One issue for the girl was whether I would reduce my travelling so as to be firmly based in her city, but I hinted that this would probably be the case.
Krowax