PUA Forum :: Where did I fuck up with this girl? (My version)

were you sensitive to her situation dude?
seems like you are kind of egotistical here. she is obviously a single raising mother with lots of shit to take care of. of course shes looking for a LTR who can take care of her.
if you said to her that you see other chicks, dont expect her to invest into you. sex isnt enough here.

thats my superficial judgment of what i read out of your description.

Thanks for reading and responding. The other member who responded said the same. I didnt realize I was cominh off like that. So how do I come off correct now? I'm not good with all that mushy make you feel good talk. I don't want to come off as some needy Mr Softee either but this chick is genuine and I'd like to explore what it can become.

I'm not sure who was up there telling you to share your feelings or whatever, but yea, clearly that backfired. DON'T DO THAT!

As is always true when you do that crap, you come across as sappy, clingy, and needy. You have played right into her emotional game and her subconscious, or perhaps rather intentional, plan to get rid of you. Sounds like she lost interest after the sex and you were going to lose her anyway, but here's what you could've done different.

When the girl starts giving you the drama BS, telling you about how her ex did this, or she doesn't want to get hurt again, you can't play into that. Create some drama or narrative of your own which supersedes her problems and makes your own seem much more important. That way she'll feel obligated to dismiss her own feelings and place emphasis on yours. Yes, you will need to fabricate some lies here, but deception is part of the game.

Quote:

This is the feeling I got. That she was trying to get rid of me by letting me drift out into the sea. I wasnt sure so I was probing a bit. After sending that emotional shit it gave her some kind of go ahead to go ahead and tell me "this shit aint going to work buddy".

My question now is...I feel like I'm going out like a chump. How can I reply back to her in a way where I'm still the man but in a non bitter way. If I could at least keep her as a friend thay would be cool but if not fuck it...but I can't go out like this.

Author:	ladiesgod [ Fri Oct 03, 2014 11:55 pm ]
Post subject:	Where did I fuck up with this girl? (My version)
So here's my story bro's. Short version: 1) Been talking to this HB8 from my job. We smashed everything was cool. She's buying food/clothes. I'm 2) She changed job locations so havent been seeing her. Calls & texts became very minimum. 3) She's been blowing me off for meet setups, she apologized and said she was going through some emotional shit...not guy or ex related. We set up a meet this weekend. She says sure but may need to watch her son. 4) Well she blows me off again for a meet this weekends meet(spending night at my house). 5) I say F her and delete her number. She texts me today with this "You probably deleted my number. If you did, it's ok I understand. Best of wishes" Long version: 1) I talk to an hb8 at work. Get the number 2) We are texting back and forth a lot (I know this isn't good) 3) I keep it very very sexual. She's all with it. We're hanging out during lunch & after work like 2 days a week. 4) For about 3 weeks she's busy on weekends can't get her over 4) She spents night at my house after 3 weeks. I don't smash, just handjob and had her naked. She's been telling me on the phone she's looking for LTR and very concerned about letting anyone smash ( I do think she's emotional scarred from past relationships & finds it hard to trust, and she harps on every little word I say like I can hardly joke she'll take it serious. Did tell her I didn't want to jump into an LTR, I'm dating, and so just going with the flow) 5) 2 weeks later she spends night again, I smash. 6) Everything is still cool, but she moves job location so I don't see her anymore 7) Calls, texts from her start dwindling down. I'll text her and she'll text me hours or a day late and tell me something is wrong with her phone, all her texts come late...ok maybe so. She's busy a lot now, can't get together. I send her a funny text about not hearing from her. She tells me she's sorry she's been going through an emotional rollercoaster. 9) So about after 1 weeks of no phone calls/no texts, and not being able to get up I. I start thinking maybe this emotional roller coaster means she got me as backburner sex to some other guy. So I send her a text saying that I really dig her, but if she's stringing me along I'm going to drop her. She texts me back saying she's confused that I think she's stringing me along because I communicated I'm talking to other chicks, and she's not stringing me along and not here to waste my time. 10) I didn't respond.She texts me two days later asking if not talking to her anymore. I call her and we talk for a while. I explained how I almost deleted her number & if she's getting over some other guys it's cool, but I don't want to be part of that shit. She told me no, she's got some other shit going on. I tried to get her over but she's on her period. So I made plans with her for the following week. She says sure, if she finds a sitter which should be no problem. 11) Ok so during the week still no calls/texts. So I text and get a text the next day..sorry just saw your message. She texts me two days later saying I can't see you this weekend. 12) I never responded and deleted the chicks number....She texts me today saying "judging by your response you probably deleted my number, it's ok if you did, I understand. Best of Wishes". Here's the question: What do you guys think of this? I would love to bang some more, but I don't know how to tell if she's legitimately this busy or she's pulling my freaking leg. If she's legitimate and pussy is awaiting me I'd like to keep this open. How would you guys respond, if at ALL and approach this going forward?

Author:	ladiesgod [ Sun Oct 05, 2014 5:44 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Where did I fuck up with this girl? (My version)
Anyone? fellow pimp needs help.

Author:	Herkules181 [ Sun Oct 05, 2014 11:11 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Where did I fuck up with this girl? (My version)
were you sensitive to her situation dude? seems like you are kind of egotistical here. she is obviously a single raising mother with lots of shit to take care of. of course shes looking for a LTR who can take care of her. if you said to her that you see other chicks, dont expect her to invest into you. sex isnt enough here. thats my superficial judgment of what i read out of your description.

Author:	ladiesgod [ Sun Oct 05, 2014 9:24 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Where did I fuck up with this girl? (My version)
Quote: were you sensitive to her situation dude? seems like you are kind of egotistical here. she is obviously a single raising mother with lots of shit to take care of. of course shes looking for a LTR who can take care of her. if you said to her that you see other chicks, dont expect her to invest into you. sex isnt enough here. thats my superficial judgment of what i read out of your description. I'm not an asshole, I presented myself as caring to her situation, and I basically told her just communicate with me so I know what's up. She doesn't text or call or anything anymore. So either what ever she got going on is some really heavy stuff that she doesn't feel comfy sharing with me. Well she told me "I don't want to dump you with all my problems" or She's dicking around with me and keeping me on a leash since she knows I'm trying to get with her. I'm asking for a way to approach this so that I know what the deal is without looking needy or desparate.

Author:	ladiesgod [ Tue Oct 07, 2014 10:02 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Where did I fuck up with this girl? (My version)
Man..over 80 views and only 1 response? Thanks! I need HelP dudes...thats why Im here. Look out for a bro! After her last text...see first post above..short version. I responded this morn with this. Me:GM. Hey, I understand you're dealing with some personal issues right now, so hit me up when you're feeling back in your groove cause you owe me BIG. Her: What do I owe you? You want me to pay you for your time wasted? What's her intent behind this and what type of response/approach would be appropriate?

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Author:	JackZero [ Tue Oct 07, 2014 10:18 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Where did I fuck up with this girl? (My version)
It doesn't sound like you're really hearing what she's telling you. She wants a LTR and you tell her that you don't want one and are seeing other women. Also she has a kid and it doesn't sound like you're sensitive to that fact and consider not seeing you as blowing you off. In both your long version and short version, it sounds like you are very much about you and not doing much to make her feel special.

Author:	ladiesgod [ Tue Oct 07, 2014 11:02 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Where did I fuck up with this girl? (My version)
Thanks for reading and responding. The other member who responded said the same. I didnt realize I was cominh off like that. So how do I come off correct now? I'm not good with all that mushy make you feel good talk. I don't want to come off as some needy Mr Softee either but this chick is genuine and I'd like to explore what it can become.

Author:	JackZero [ Tue Oct 07, 2014 11:52 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Where did I fuck up with this girl? (My version)
Quote: Thanks for reading and responding. The other member who responded said the same. I didnt realize I was cominh off like that. So how do I come off correct now? I'm not good with all that mushy make you feel good talk. I don't want to come off as some needy Mr Softee either but this chick is genuine and I'd like to explore what it can become. Does she know that you think she's genuine? If she knew you thought that, that would possibly make her feel special and stand out from the other girls.

Author:	ladiesgod [ Wed Oct 08, 2014 1:17 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Where did I fuck up with this girl? (My version)
So I tried a softer mushier approach to make her feel "special" & I'm pretty sure backfired! This is what I sent after her last text above: Me: No. I love your smile. It makes me feel happy....an addictive feeling. Not sure how you do it but, I want more of it... Her: I'm delighted I've bought some sort of little joy to you in the short period of time. You're gonna make someone very happy. I don't read this as a shit test.... I read it as a done deal. Should I even respond? Or will I seem bitter if I dont.

Author:	puaninja [ Wed Oct 08, 2014 2:58 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Where did I fuck up with this girl? (My version)
I'm not sure who was up there telling you to share your feelings or whatever, but yea, clearly that backfired. DON'T DO THAT! As is always true when you do that crap, you come across as sappy, clingy, and needy. You have played right into her emotional game and her subconscious, or perhaps rather intentional, plan to get rid of you. Sounds like she lost interest after the sex and you were going to lose her anyway, but here's what you could've done different. When the girl starts giving you the drama BS, telling you about how her ex did this, or she doesn't want to get hurt again, you can't play into that. Create some drama or narrative of your own which supersedes her problems and makes your own seem much more important. That way she'll feel obligated to dismiss her own feelings and place emphasis on yours. Yes, you will need to fabricate some lies here, but deception is part of the game.

Author:	ladiesgod [ Wed Oct 08, 2014 3:08 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Where did I fuck up with this girl? (My version)
Quote: I'm not sure who was up there telling you to share your feelings or whatever, but yea, clearly that backfired. DON'T DO THAT! As is always true when you do that crap, you come across as sappy, clingy, and needy. You have played right into her emotional game and her subconscious, or perhaps rather intentional, plan to get rid of you. Sounds like she lost interest after the sex and you were going to lose her anyway, but here's what you could've done different. When the girl starts giving you the drama BS, telling you about how her ex did this, or she doesn't want to get hurt again, you can't play into that. Create some drama or narrative of your own which supersedes her problems and makes your own seem much more important. That way she'll feel obligated to dismiss her own feelings and place emphasis on yours. Yes, you will need to fabricate some lies here, but deception is part of the game. This is the feeling I got. That she was trying to get rid of me by letting me drift out into the sea. I wasnt sure so I was probing a bit. After sending that emotional shit it gave her some kind of go ahead to go ahead and tell me "this shit aint going to work buddy". My question now is...I feel like I'm going out like a chump. How can I reply back to her in a way where I'm still the man but in a non bitter way. If I could at least keep her as a friend thay would be cool but if not fuck it...but I can't go out like this.

Author:	puaninja [ Wed Oct 08, 2014 3:29 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Where did I fuck up with this girl? (My version)
Quote: Quote: I'm not sure who was up there telling you to share your feelings or whatever, but yea, clearly that backfired. DON'T DO THAT! As is always true when you do that crap, you come across as sappy, clingy, and needy. You have played right into her emotional game and her subconscious, or perhaps rather intentional, plan to get rid of you. Sounds like she lost interest after the sex and you were going to lose her anyway, but here's what you could've done different. When the girl starts giving you the drama BS, telling you about how her ex did this, or she doesn't want to get hurt again, you can't play into that. Create some drama or narrative of your own which supersedes her problems and makes your own seem much more important. That way she'll feel obligated to dismiss her own feelings and place emphasis on yours. Yes, you will need to fabricate some lies here, but deception is part of the game. This is the feeling I got. That she was trying to get rid of me by letting me drift out into the sea. I wasnt sure so I was probing a bit. After sending that emotional shit it gave her some kind of go ahead to go ahead and tell me "this shit aint going to work buddy". My question now is...I feel like I'm going out like a chump. How can I reply back to her in a way where I'm still the man but in a non bitter way. If I could at least keep her as a friend thay would be cool but if not fuck it...but I can't go out like this. I don't like the way that whole situation headed or where it ended up, so you're in a bad spot right now. I was actually going to write something else here, but I think it would be more of a distraction. You are now trying to back peddle and cling to one girl which is big no-no. This one is lost, just come to terms with it. At least you smashed, right? If you insist on continuing communication with her, keep it light and humorous and act like you are just shooting the breeze and not trying to "re-kindle" anything. If something were to happen between you two again, let it happen on its own in its own time. Don't force it or try to look cool and save face.

Author:	translation [ Wed Oct 08, 2014 3:44 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Where did I fuck up with this girl? (My version)
You told her your not looking for a LTR, she said she was. What do u want from her. Just sex ? You said she's been scarred, she's got a kid, and unless there's some change that u didn't mention along the way, I take it you just want to "smash" her ? I don't think it's a question of games, or whether u seem needy or if she does. I think this is just wrong. Translation.

Author:	ladiesgod [ Wed Oct 08, 2014 4:40 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: Where did I fuck up with this girl? (My version)
Yea dude I was looking to smash and I did. She's a great person and I'd like to keep her around to fuck then at least on a cool vibe where there's no sourness. She got the last word in and I don't like how it ended. There at least should have been some resolution as to us being on a cool tip.

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Author:	ladiesgod [ Thu Oct 09, 2014 3:45 am ]
Post subject:	Re: Where did I fuck up with this girl? (My version)
Yea so finally text her again just to make sure we cool & no hard feelings she sends this back. Her: You and I want 2 different things and that's ok. We spoke about it. Absolutely no hard feelings, you are a kind sweet gentleman. I do appreciate the moments we spent together. So there it is folks. What boggles me is that they come to this realization after you smash when they already knew before hand. wish I could've kept this one tho. Oh well! Any comments???