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Decent first date - but need to escalate
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Author:  vibesfromsa [ Sun Jan 12, 2014 6:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Decent first date - but need to escalate
Hey Fellow Pua,

I am so not a PUA yet but learning and loving it. This will be my first post and i need some advice.

So, had a first date with a girl i met a while back. The date went well. She is shy, and has not been with many guys, however she is a HARD 9! She is gorgeous.

I like her allot, we spoke about mutual interests, life in general and the date went well. I can tell she is taking it slow but i did get a kiss at the end of the date. She initiated.

She also contacted me first today, the day after the date so im taking these as good signs for now.

I need to escalate. We speak allot over texting, however she is a med student and a national runner so her time is very minimal for socialization. I do not WANT TO BE IN THE FRIEND ZONE. Also guys, she is VERY shy, comes from a conservative, overachieving family.

Need some help.. Perhaps some tips on where how i should control our next conversations over text, and perhaps a next date. She has already hinted that we should do something again.

Julz
Author:  vibesfromsa [ Sun Jan 12, 2014 6:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Decent first date - but need to escalate
guys, im also having a HUGE problem trying to neg this girl.. She is so sweet, gorgeous... Im thinking of going for the "your nose wiggles a bit when you smile, you know that"???
Author:  grayson3 [ Sun Jan 12, 2014 6:37 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Decent first date - but need to escalate
Just saying "We're not going to be friends" has worked for me in the past. You need the right kind of chemistry though; you'll know if it'll work or not. "You blink a lot" is a funny line...
Author:  vibesfromsa [ Sun Jan 12, 2014 6:46 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Decent first date - but need to escalate
should i say this now over the phone or the next time i see her?? I like that.. Ill def say this the next time i see her.. Ill just be like, (after we have had some good rapport, maybe laughed a little ill drop the, you know what, i can see im not just gona be your friend"? something like that. She will then say, what do you mean, full well knowing what i mean. How do i then respond?

Perhaps: Well i have enough girl friends for now, and i love this energy we have???
Author:  vibesfromsa [ Sun Jan 12, 2014 6:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Decent first date - but need to escalate
im thinking of dropping this neg, over text now??

me: *****, i have something very important to ask you?
Girl: OK
me: Would you consider kissing to be cheating? (ill wait and hour to respond, make her think)
Girl: I'm sure she will say yes.. But depends.
me: Sure, girls are usually all the same, are you saying your different?

Then she may have to prove to me she qualifies???
Author:  Wall1e [ Sun Jan 19, 2014 5:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Decent first date - but need to escalate
Quote:
im thinking of dropping this neg, over text now??

me: *****, i have something very important to ask you?
Girl: OK
me: Would you consider kissing to be cheating? (ill wait and hour to respond, make her think)
Girl: I'm sure she will say yes.. But depends.
me: Sure, girls are usually all the same, are you saying your different?

Then she may have to prove to me she qualifies???
Want some advice? Stop trying to game her on the phone. There are many ways she might interpret it the wrong way. Just set up a new date, and escalate there. Grab you balls, sexual eye-contact, and kiss her like a man.

Your welcome,

Wallie
Author:  darkeyes [ Wed Jan 22, 2014 11:16 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Decent first date - but need to escalate
yo man, you DO NOT need to neg this girl. do not fucking neg her man, theres no reason to bust her down when she hasn;t placed herself above you (thats what negs are used for, when a girl has that attitude like shes better than you etc and places herself above you you neg to show her your not going to take her shit) if you do this and shes gonna think your a dickhead and never talk to you again. props to tripp dating advice for really explaining negs.

you said this girl is shy, really nice and conservative, you dont need to neg her man, if anything you just need to lead and she will follow suit.

like wall1e said, fuck phone stuff, you need to get out with her. man, your already set, she initiated the kiss, she contacted you firs the next day, you need to nothing except continue on as you already are pretty much. hell, i've straight up asked numerous girls when the vibe has felt good and right "can i/may i kiss you" and its worked everytime. this girls open to it man, grab your balls and go for it lol

i know this post is a bit late after your initial one but i feel i needed to mention the neg thing cuz your gonna come off badly if you do do that.
Author:  Digital_Spy [ Sat Jan 25, 2014 1:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Decent first date - but need to escalate
Quote:
im thinking of dropping this neg, over text now??

me: *****, i have something very important to ask you?
Girl: OK
me: Would you consider kissing to be cheating? (ill wait and hour to respond, make her think)
Girl: I'm sure she will say yes.. But depends.
me: Sure, girls are usually all the same, are you saying your different?

Then she may have to prove to me she qualifies???

I hope to God you never did this as she'll think you are a complete head fuck loser. Just be yourself instead of thinking up all this stupid crap to impress her. Anyway how did it go. Are you still going out with her?? Did you get another date or what? Don't leave us hanging dude lol.
Author:  Snarg [ Sat Jan 25, 2014 3:33 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Decent first date - but need to escalate
Those are some truly cringe-worthy lines. Please don't say any of that and please stop trying to neg her for no reason. In fact, I think negging is a horrible idea in 99% of all cases. Most guys will never even need to do it, and those that do will likely fuck it up anyway.

I think you're looking at pickup all wrong. Stop trying to focus on stupid little gambits and head games, and focus more on self-improvement and boosting your confidence. After being away from this community for about a year, I can say that those qualities are the only ones that have truly stuck with me and improved my lifestyle in the long run.
Author:  ben dover [ Sat Jan 25, 2014 11:01 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Decent first date - but need to escalate
I hope it all went well, but anyhow let me offer a bit of advice.

Forget texting, ask her out on a date, but be like: It would be cool if we could hang out... then name times it suits you, and see where you fit together. Chose a nice place where you can talk, but not too formal (walk in the park or some activity).

Keep your routine going, but this time start teasing at times, look for IOI's. Include a touch here and there just to look for her reaction. If there are more than 3 IOI's from her side, its time to make the move. Start with: your smell gorgeous, than lean to smell her and see how it goes. Repeat this sequence of flirting several times more, and if it all goes well go for the kill.

I use an array of things, depending on the situation from: I bet you are lurking for my kiss... to... I don't even want to know how you kiss...

I hope you can close it...
Author:  vibesfromsa [ Sun Jan 26, 2014 9:05 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Decent first date - but need to escalate
Hey guy

Thanks for all the responses, I had to end up just doing my own thing because they came back to late. The negging thing is not for me. It doesn't feel natural unless I do it in a really playful way. I ended up going on another date with her, and just acted like myself. We had a wonderful time and the conversation was natural and flowed. She ended up telling me that she feels really comfortable with me and that I make her laugh. We enjoyed ourselves. I made a conserved effort to kino, so I can escalate the romantic part of the relationship, and the response I got was positive.

I walked her to her car and kissed her good night. She texted me thanking me for an amazing evening and wants to see me more. I responded, with a " I enjoyed myself, and I really feel we connect"

She asked if I could come to her place the following Thursday and I did. I came after work. We ended up having some wine, pizza, and ice cream. I told her that I don't want to be just friends, I have enough of those and I wanted more than that. One thing led to another, and ended up leaving her place in the morning.

So, we seeing each other now. I can tell she likes me quite allot. From the wants happened, I've realized that not all girls need to be negged. I really just took control of what I wanted and she actually told me that she really found that attractive because most guys are intimidated by her. I don't act needy because I really don't want to be like everyone else.

I post a proper report as I go.
Author:  Wall1e [ Sun Jan 26, 2014 2:00 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Decent first date - but need to escalate
Quote:
Hey guy

Thanks for all the responses, I had to end up just doing my own thing because they came back to late. The negging thing is not for me. It doesn't feel natural unless I do it in a really playful way. I ended up going on another date with her, and just acted like myself. We had a wonderful time and the conversation was natural and flowed. She ended up telling me that she feels really comfortable with me and that I make her laugh. We enjoyed ourselves. I made a conserved effort to kino, so I can escalate the romantic part of the relationship, and the response I got was positive.

I walked her to her car and kissed her good night. She texted me thanking me for an amazing evening and wants to see me more. I responded, with a " I enjoyed myself, and I really feel we connect"

She asked if I could come to her place the following Thursday and I did. I came after work. We ended up having some wine, pizza, and ice cream. I told her that I don't want to be just friends, I have enough of those and I wanted more than that. One thing led to another, and ended up leaving her place in the morning.

So, we seeing each other now. I can tell she likes me quite allot. From the wants happened, I've realized that not all girls need to be negged. I really just took control of what I wanted and she actually told me that she really found that attractive because most guys are intimidated by her. I don't act needy because I really don't want to be like everyone else.

I post a proper report as I go.
See? There you go. Just meet up through text and do your thing right then and there. No need for ridiculous negging through the phone, face-to-face teasing works way better. Good job man.

Wallie
Author:  GamesSN [ Sun Jan 26, 2014 4:07 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Decent first date - but need to escalate
As Snarg said(And WB): Don't neg for no reason.

She's interested in you, you've already kissed her and she wants to see you again. All you need to do is keep up what you've been doing leading up to the kiss. If you want to escalate then escalate but don't neg her. You generally only neg a girl if she's too full of energy and is actually annoying or taking away attention from you.
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