PUA Forum :: She said she doesn't want a relationship

This sounds pretty much exactly the same as mine. We dated for about 6 months after a wonderful month of courtship, and once we started getting serious, and commitments were expected, she said she got super anxious and broke up with me because she was too stressed. I asked her how I could help or modify my behavior to help and she said "you are great, the relationship is great, I just feel like there are too many expectations and too much pressure."

After a month apart, she hooked up with another guy, while i was swamped with my life and didn't get to make it out. Recently she said that messing around with the other guy only made her miss me more. She doesn't want to see other people, doesn't want me to see other people, and doesn't want to be in a relationship, because she doesn't want to let me down, or be in a relationship where apparently I have high expectations.

So I'm confused beyond anything I can comprehend, I don't have any answers for you, because mine hasn't played out all the way, but I know this girl is a keeper, if I can keep her.... Just know you aren't alone in your confusion, I'm trying to get back out there and work on some plan B girls while I see how this relationship pans out. Keep us updated

Author:	username290 [ Sat May 25, 2013 2:35 pm ]
Post subject:	She said she doesn't want a relationship
I met this HB9 at college and we instantly hit it off, becoming way more than best friends. We went on dates and hung out a ton everyday, and then things started to get more sexual with kissing, HJs, BJs, playing with her boobs, etc. I'm not putting this girl on a pedestal, but she is definitely the best girl I've been with and I'd like to be exclusive with her. She says that I'm the best guy she's ever met, I'm almost perfect, and she doesn't want me to get with any other girls, and she could even see us getting married, and I feel the same way about her. However, when we talked about a relationship (a few times) she said deep down she wants one, but she's scared and doesn't want to be hurt and wants to do her own thing and fears the relationship will get in the way of that with some possessiveness or whatever. She was tied down to a guy that ended up hurting her for over a year, her parents are divorced, and her stepdad has molested her- so relationships in her life haven't gone so well. I was talking to her the other day and she said that she didn't want to get with any other guy (only making this whole thing even more confusing). I called her out for this "I don't want a relationship thing" asking her if it was the relationship or the relationship with me and she said "I think its the relationship you're great." She said she was afraid of the label, expectations, and the pressure. But then she said that she doesn't want me to get with other girls but she doesn't want to hold me down and was encouraging me to get with others. I guess I don't know what to think. Its really confusing to me. Anyway, do y'all have any advice on this situation? I really like her and she says she really likes me but is just afraid of the commitment and how it might get in the way of her doing her.

Author:	Ninja32 [ Sat May 25, 2013 7:33 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: She said she doesn't want a relationship
I am not an expert but the story sounds convincing. I tell you what I would do, I will do what shes asking me to do for some time to see how she acts ANd understand where shes going with all this.if you dont get her in a relationship which apparenty u both want what she is scare of ,you should run! Dnt fall before her or u will be in a very bad situation. What dotes the rest think? Im tired of reading posts with no answers... Good luck!

Author:	username290 [ Sun May 26, 2013 10:48 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: She said she doesn't want a relationship
Thanks! I've done this for some time (she's not wanted one for a few months). She says she's gotten more attracted to me as we went along she sees herself dating me now and she didn't before. But at one point she got with another guy and didn't tell me about it even though she said she would. We've definitely had our ups and downs and she knows shes messed up a little based on everything that happened. She thinks I just like her for the way she makes me feel, which I've tried to tell her is not the case. Also, she said she wants to live through me and said I could go after girls (but a bit before she said she'd be jealous). Just seems messed up

Author:	LeBlanc [ Mon May 27, 2013 2:16 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: She said she doesn't want a relationship
Holy shit this sounds kinda similar to my situation. I would advice that you see other girls as well. Don't just spend your time concentrating on her. I know you might be scared of losing her deep down but if that does happen then you just know that she isn't the right one. Keep a backup plan just in case. I'm not a pro in this since im going through the same confusing shit..

Author:	pappabear [ Thu May 30, 2013 8:54 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: She said she doesn't want a relationship
This sounds pretty much exactly the same as mine. We dated for about 6 months after a wonderful month of courtship, and once we started getting serious, and commitments were expected, she said she got super anxious and broke up with me because she was too stressed. I asked her how I could help or modify my behavior to help and she said "you are great, the relationship is great, I just feel like there are too many expectations and too much pressure." After a month apart, she hooked up with another guy, while i was swamped with my life and didn't get to make it out. Recently she said that messing around with the other guy only made her miss me more. She doesn't want to see other people, doesn't want me to see other people, and doesn't want to be in a relationship, because she doesn't want to let me down, or be in a relationship where apparently I have high expectations. So I'm confused beyond anything I can comprehend, I don't have any answers for you, because mine hasn't played out all the way, but I know this girl is a keeper, if I can keep her.... Just know you aren't alone in your confusion, I'm trying to get back out there and work on some plan B girls while I see how this relationship pans out. Keep us updated

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Author:	diehard87 [ Thu May 19, 2016 2:18 pm ]
Post subject:	Re: She said she doesn't want a relationship
Quote: This sounds pretty much exactly the same as mine. We dated for about 6 months after a wonderful month of courtship, and once we started getting serious, and commitments were expected, she said she got super anxious and broke up with me because she was too stressed. I asked her how I could help or modify my behavior to help and she said "you are great, the relationship is great, I just feel like there are too many expectations and too much pressure." After a month apart, she hooked up with another guy, while i was swamped with my life and didn't get to make it out. Recently she said that messing around with the other guy only made her miss me more. She doesn't want to see other people, doesn't want me to see other people, and doesn't want to be in a relationship, because she doesn't want to let me down, or be in a relationship where apparently I have high expectations. So I'm confused beyond anything I can comprehend, I don't have any answers for you, because mine hasn't played out all the way, but I know this girl is a keeper, if I can keep her.... Just know you aren't alone in your confusion, I'm trying to get back out there and work on some plan B girls while I see how this relationship pans out. Keep us updated what happened? same situ,

Author:	LA.OC.Skater [ Fri May 20, 2016 5:27 am ]
Post subject:	Re: She said she doesn't want a relationship
Ease up on the oneitis. Clear your head. Not a lot of kids your age go the distance. Be social. Open other chicks. Whether you go further or not is up to you. But work on game. All good things do come to an end. Not to mention, being a little bit more aloof and less clingy will likely turn you hb9 on all the more.

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