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| No HB is hot enough for me. https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=134&t=122280 |
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| Author: | Oneiros [ Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:34 am ] |
| Post subject: | No HB is hot enough for me. |
Got your attention? Great. Hello. I am Steve. I'm an honest nihilist, elitist, egotist. I am apathetic and don't believe much in morals. I believe NiN, Burroughs and Bergman are much better than mainstream movies/music/books. I enjoy Nietzsche and Freud, playing guitar, piano, write music and horror fiction. I'm fit and beefing up at the gym. Fact is, I'm a really interesting person. I just don't know how to convey it. Believe me when I say that most times I have absolutely nothing to say to other people. I spend all my time lost inside my head, silent and absent minded. And when I have something to say... Consider: I want to say something. All the different ways I can convey meaning clash with astronomical speed inside my mind. What comes out is mashed up thoughts, indecision, brain farts, occasional stuttering. I ALWAYS try to say what I think the other person will like to hear. This never worked and never will. I am aware of my situation, but can't find a way to get out. Plus, my short term memory sucks. ..Any ideas on how to come across as a normal human being? |
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| Author: | Jacob292 [ Sun Dec 04, 2011 11:27 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Oneiros, do you have a hard time speaking also with people you know relatively well? It is normal to be impressed or stressed when speaking in public or in front of people who you don't know. Two things really helped me out some years ago: 1. Speaking in front of a mirror. Might sound stupid, but it does actually work. Look at yourself in the eyes, present yourself or say whatever comes to mind. Really, whatever, barely even think about it. 2. Keep in mind that whenever you talk or do something, you have nothing to prove to anybody. Even if some people may judge you, their point of view does not mean anything to you. You have nothing to prove. And, between us, the people who may judge you by why you say in the first minutes of an interaction are very shallow, and build a very misinformed judgment of what you have just said. |
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| Author: | Oneiros [ Sun Dec 04, 2011 12:13 pm ] |
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Talking to a group, I have no trouble at all. As long as I have my words figured out, I play it smooth as Bond. I acted on a play when I was 15 in a full theater and I was freakkin comfortable. Making small talk or casual conversation, one on one? The absolutely hardest, most stressful thing you can put me through. Awkward silences, running out of thing to say... You name it. My mind doesn't think the way everyone else does. I think the most weird, random, outrageous things. If I'd tell my personal beliefs out loud, people would cast me out as crazy/demented. "Keep in mind that whenever you talk or do something, you have nothing to prove to anybody" ....Consciously, I know all this. But it's hard wired in me. Hypnosis maybe? |
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| Author: | Jacob292 [ Sun Dec 04, 2011 9:28 pm ] |
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It's strange to not having problems speaking a prepared script and also having problems "improvising" and speaking out what's on your mind (without it being too obscene). You can try hypnotizing, although I'm not sure how you could explain your situation to the practitioner. I'm not a specialist, so don't take my work for granted, but I think that practice makes perfect: so I would encourage you to talk one to one with a lot of random girls, or anyone really. People you know you won't see anytime very soon, so there's not pressure on you. As for awkward silences, that's the best moment to build sexual tension. It exist between any two people of opposite sex. You just look in the other girl's eyes, with a seductive look (I imagine myself kissing her neck, or more if I've already kissed her there, that helps a lot feeling the sexual vibe and thinking with my second brain), and make her pick up the conversation again. Make her feel awkward for not talking to you. It's her problem, not yours. You'll feel most probably very strange and awkward yourself at first. And the more you do that, the less awkward it will feel, until you become comfortable in silences. |
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| Author: | tenonine [ Mon Dec 05, 2011 5:07 pm ] |
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Do you have this brain overload problem with every person you talk to one-on-one? Or just the women you're interested in? Because a lot of what you say sounds very familiar. When I meet a woman I'm attracted to, there's an avalanche of thoughts, and it's hard to pluck out the one that's most appropriate for the occasion. One thing that's really helped me out is the realization that my body language is more important than anything I can say. Because in the first few moments of an encounter, it's impossible to say something profound. Rather, you have to communicate your attraction -- and your confidence -- with body language and voice. Go in front of a mirror and practice saying the simple word "hello" in the most seductive way possible. With the best body language you can manage. And then practice making seductive small talk. Women love it when a man can create sexual tension by talking about the most commonplace things, because they respond to body language more than to the content of your speech. If you understand and accept that the stress is physical and NOT verbal, then I think you'll begin to focus on your body during an encounter -- this will clear your head and make the conversation flow more naturally, especially if you can master your body movements. But there are more practical tips. If you know you're going to be talking to strangers, have a phone conversation with a friend or family member first, so that you're warmed up, attuned to conversational flow. As for this business of women not being hot enough for you, I think you need to commune more with feminine energy. Not to get all dalai lama on you, but there's a natural polarity between the sexes and by plugging into that frequency you find the beauty in a woman. If you're just judging them on looks, you're missing out on a rich experience. Most of all, you can't think your way into a bond with a woman; you can only think your way out of it. |
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| Author: | Slip n Slide [ Tue Dec 06, 2011 4:08 am ] |
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There are a few really great posts in this thread already. I will add simply by saying that yes, you are in your head, already judging yourself before you can do or say what you would like to. That's an unfortunate way to be and most people have that problem all the time. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle can help you repair that dysfunction in yourself and act naturally to people. But most importantly, everything comes with practice. |
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