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Low sex drive, me, or some other guy?
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Author:  astartes2 [ Fri Aug 12, 2011 2:20 pm ]
Post subject:  Low sex drive, me, or some other guy?
Short background on my girl. Shes been in a lot more relationships than I have been in. Her last relationship prior to ours where she actually used the words " boyfriend" " I love u" was 3 years ago. Her x killed himself. And I think she partially blames herself.

Now we are together have been for about 10 months now. We've had our up and downs. One of the biggest issues is her sex drive.

After first we waited for a month before we had sex. Then we had a lot of it. It slowed down as I started to make the moves for it. We had a break up for a month and got back together and had great sex for the weeks proceeding the reunion. Now it is gone again.

I know if I make moves for it she gets a lot of anxiety and pushes me away. It is very rare that I can make a move for it and she will be in the mood. ( most of the time I am trying to get sex is at night before bed or in the morning before work ).

I am well hung, and when we have sex I make her scream. I mean our sex is fucking great, best I have ever had. And she says its the best she has ever had.

Am I doing something wrong here? Am I asking for it too much? Am I not being dominate enough? Do i not know when my girl is in the mood and I am making moves at the wrong time? Shouldn't she feel obliged to be in the mood to satisfy her man?

When I do start making moves and she stops me because she is not in the mood she gets very angry. Its not a soft sweet " hunny I am not in the mood" its " Rich! Stop"

I use to get upset and would get defensive. now I say " I'm sorry darling I didn't know you weren't in the mood, but now I know I will stop. "

I don't know what to do... I feel like I am missing something that arouses her sexually.

Although she claims that she has never been very sexual with any of her boyfriends, and can go with out it for long periods of time.

Any thoughts? Thank you gentlemen
Author:  pumpington [ Sat Aug 13, 2011 9:16 am ]
Post subject: 
have you tried foreplay through out the day? as opposed to making ''moves'', just set a seed in her mind that sex is going to happen, and the anticipation in her head should do the rest, if you have tried that and it didn't work then who knows could be a whole load of shit
Author:  stuckupcurlyguy [ Sat Aug 13, 2011 1:15 pm ]
Post subject: 
Maybe less emphasis on the sex itself and more on just being comfortable physically together ... let it happen naturally. But it seems like with her history she's got some mental problems that she needs to work out if you guys are going to be successful together.
Author:  intrigued101 [ Tue Sep 13, 2011 11:13 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I don't know what to do... I feel like I am missing something that arouses her sexually.
It sounds like all of this comes down to communication problems. Have you had an open and honest conversation?

- Find out how often you both like to have sex per week. If you are a 7 and she is a 2 then how can you work out a compromise.

- Talk about sexual positions and fantasies. Perhaps she is not totally into your style but is too shy to talk about it. Perhaps she finds that sex with you becomes routine very quickly. Ask her about her best sexual experiences and what made them great.

- Find out what time of day you each like it. For example I am a morning person and often just don't feel it last thing at night. Without communicating this we would of had problems.

Finally as stuckupcurlyguy says how about focusing on physical bonding and not just sex. Massages, sharing a bath, cuddling. These are satisfying in their own right (look up oxytocin) but also bring you closer and enhance sex.
Quote:
Shouldn't she feel obliged to be in the mood to satisfy her man?
This question feels very naive. Flip the situation. Imagine you were with a girl who had a higher sex drive than you (yes it is possible). Imagine her demanding sex and you not being in the mood. Would you really feel you should do something you didn't want to satisfy her?

Sex is not something a woman gives to a man. That's very AFC thinking. It makes me cringe when I am with a couple and the girl is threatening to withhold sex 'Well it looks like someone isn't having sex tonight'. It is enjoyable for both of you. It's shared fun. In fact it is more enjoyable / important for the woman (when was the last time you screamed and had multiple orgasms during sex?) so if anything it should be the man that is giving the girl the gift.
Author:  Jamine [ Wed Sep 14, 2011 1:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
WOW this is interesting. :P

foreplay......hmmm.. yeah well, this seems to be a solution though
Author:  sushilsilicon [ Fri Sep 16, 2011 5:02 am ]
Post subject:  Relationships
How to make good relationship with Friend's and Family also.
Author:  Solteris [ Sat Sep 17, 2011 10:03 am ]
Post subject: 
Wait...aren't you the same guy that made the thread about dudes blowing up your GF's phone? lol
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Sat Sep 17, 2011 11:46 am ]
Post subject: 
you've said two things...

and i just need clarity, so i understand.

you've said "make the moves" and "ask for it".

do you consider asking for sex to be making the move?

if so, that is wrong.

do not ask for sex.

INITIATE sex.

* small clarification: do not use this to justify being some crazy rapist * LOLOL
Author:  Kalel [ Tue Sep 27, 2011 9:24 am ]
Post subject: 
I think the problem is that you are going from being completely non-sexual to trying to initiate, without any warmup. I'm not talking about foreplay. I'm talking about before foreplay.

You cannot simply "initiate" out of the blue, of course she's not in the mood, it's completely random. It's on your mind, but not on hers. You don't understand this because, as a man, there is almost no scenario in which you are not open to sex.

Women on the other hand, must be put in the mood, before even foreplay can start. If you guys are doing non-sexual stuff, and there are no sexual thoughts in her head, then she's probably not in the mood. So get her in the mood.

Be flirtatious, tell her how sexy she is, make eye contact, romance her, make her laugh, make her smile. kiss her, tease her, talk dirty to her, give her little kisses on her shoulder or other non-sexual areas throughout the day. Make her feel sexy, and loved, and appreciated, and special. This will get her in the mood, and make her open to foreplay and then sex. Not just right before sex either, but rather throughout the day build her up for the sex to come.

The problem with pua, is that a lot of guys stop gaming women after they start dating them. They think their job is finished and sex should be a given. But that's not true, your job is never done. You must always game your woman, and keep it interesting and exciting. True you don't have to work nearly as hard. But you should never stop completely. You should always game a little, just to keep the fire burning.
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