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"You are never angry/happy/extatic/sad/..."
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Author:  mcare [ Sun Aug 07, 2011 5:56 pm ]
Post subject:  "You are never angry/happy/extatic/sad/..."
I know for a fact that there is a thread about this but I can't find it. I put this in LTR and not inner game for a reason (read).

Anyway I got "you're never angry/happy/sad" from my girlfriend. It took me only a second to realise that she's right.

I'm not even touching the "I just love how you don't stress about problems" vs. "you don't show your feelings". I show her that I love her (when she deserves it). This is more about how I react in other situations.

I find it interesting that I'm not like that outside our relationship. Yes it is in my nature to show indifference most of the time.

But:
- I get extatic talking about things I love with my friends
- I yell when I'm angry doing business
- I hate with passion, love with passion, etc. and I show it when I'm not with her.

When I talk about it to her I'm more or less just describing it.

To an outsider it would seem like I don't care what she thinks about what I'm saying. I'm just describing it. There is no real body language or tone of my voice like it is when I'm really passionate about subject I'm talking about. And I really value her opinion on most of the stuff I talk about (business aside).

When I'm annoyed with her I don't get angry. I just let it be. When she makes me really happy I just let it be. When she makes me love her with my whole heart (she can do that from time to time) I just make a mental note :)

Any thoughts? Where is the catch? What are the possible reasons?

P.s.: This started if I can recall it a few months in to LTR. While I was gaming her (and for a while after) I had my game face on. And I really thrive with girls when I show my passion.
Author:  Little Panda [ Sun Aug 07, 2011 8:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
There are several possible reasons for this . . . First off, this is a dangerous spot to be in. She went in to a relationship with you because she liked the person she got to know back then.

Today, you are not that same person.

The possible reasons I can think of why you might be doing this are:

1. You take her for granted and don't really care about how you make her feel - because you already have her and there's nothing left to take.

2. You're scared. Scared of showing emotions because you're scared of the risks those emotions are putting you through. Show anger = possible risk to get in to a fight. Show love = possible risk of her taking YOU for granted. You feel as if you don't want to give away too much value or the relationship might start going downhill and become boring. This applies to all the emotions she's implying you're not showing.

Whatever the real reason is - it's going to kill the relationship. You've changed drastically since she got to know you and this might change her entire perception of the relationship.

It's important that you quit doing this shit. Open up and start showing the emotions when they arise, may it be anger or may it be love. Quit thinking that relationships are battles of value and leading role.

Even if you start showing emotions more openly and yet your relationship fucks up again - you gotta realize that it's for the best in the long run. Because in your next relationship you'll understand much better of how it's like to truly handle it. This little experience could mean a lot.

Also, note that the 2 possible reasons ^above are both extremely ego based. If you recognize yourself in any of those reasons, you better start dealing with your ego and fight it off. The ego won't just destroy relationships, but it's going to block your path to almost any success in life and it will burn you alive.
Author:  Mr_Amazing [ Wed Aug 10, 2011 8:29 am ]
Post subject: 
I think the reason you are able to express yourself in other areas is because those relationships are more dynamic and require more of you (emotionally and otherwise) to maintain. LTRs are usually pretty consistant and routine, and therefore can be put on "auto pilot", so to speak.
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