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I cheated.. now what
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Author:  Danzella [ Sun Jul 17, 2011 12:46 am ]
Post subject:  I cheated.. now what
I got very drunk last night and completely crossed my own bounderies. I kissed one of my girl friends for a few seconds and I feel SO guilty for it. Despite almost breaking up with my girlfriend a few days ago because I didn't know how I feel about her, I know feel incredibly guilty.

I know if I tell my girlfriend it'd end the relationship, and I know that the right thing is to tell her. But is there any other way to overcome this guilt without going down that path?

I'm very aware and prepared to get shit for asking a question like this. So, let rip I guess.
Author:  Impreza_217 [ Sun Jul 17, 2011 5:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
As long as you know it's wrong and feel that it's not something you'd ever do to her in your right mind (dont try to use the alcohol excuse too much), you should keep it to yourself and focus on making things better from this point on.
Author:  afc__atticus [ Mon Jul 18, 2011 5:03 am ]
Post subject: 
you should dump her. You've been thinking about it and your drunken mind has just confirmed you're not as interested in her anymore... Time to move on I think!

Good luck my friend
Author:  Wal [ Mon Jul 18, 2011 3:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
But is there any other way to overcome this guilt without going down that path?
Sometimes when you come to a tough decision in life, the easy choice is not always the best choice. You can either navigate through the shortcut, or you can face it head on, like a man.

My advice: tell her what happened. By choosing the hard path, you will learn so much about humility, dignity, and honor, and regardless of your girl's reaction, you will both be better off with the truth expressed.

(If you don't tell her, you'll always be the coward, at least in your own mind--but don't beat yourself up about this; you made a mistake, and your guilt demonstrates that you aren't a psychopath, which is something to be happy about :D)
Author:  P1nkstar [ Mon Jul 18, 2011 3:40 pm ]
Post subject: 
Simple...

Take responsibility of your actions. Tell her.

You fucked up, you face consequences. It's like a kid getting punished.
Author:  Riqueza [ Mon Jul 18, 2011 4:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
1. It's a kiss, so what? Things were not going well anyway, why do you care much?
2. I got a feeling that your girl probably doesn't even care since she was about to break up with you anyway. Almost all of the guys that cheat have something missing in their relationship... sex... kissing... etc. Now i assume you miss that also in your relationship... so you cheated. She is probably already bored by you and will even think less of you as a man now.
3. The beeing drunk excuse is pathetic. You wanted to kiss that girl, period. don't use the 'easy-way-out' excuse.

Forgive me if I am mistaken.

Riqueza.
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Tue Jul 19, 2011 12:52 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
But is there any other way to overcome this guilt without going down that path?
Sometimes when you come to a tough decision in life, the easy choice is not always the best choice. You can either navigate through the shortcut, or you can face it head on, like a man.

My advice: tell her what happened. By choosing the hard path, you will learn so much about humility, dignity, and honor, and regardless of your girl's reaction, you will both be better off with the truth expressed.

(If you don't tell her, you'll always be the coward, at least in your own mind--but don't beat yourself up about this; you made a mistake, and your guilt demonstrates that you aren't a psychopath, which is something to be happy about :D)
i'm with wal on this.

i prefer honestly all the time. no matter what. i always want to know. even if it destroys my world, i still want to know. and i prefer to be 100% honest with people always, even when it's not convenient.

not all people are this way...

it's always intrigued me when people say "as long as he doesn't do it again, didn't really love her, and it really sorry and loves me...then i wouldn't want to know"

to me, that is like living a lie. the thought of living a lie makes me sick to my stomach.
Author:  SomeYoungGuy [ Wed Jul 20, 2011 3:41 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
As long as you know it's wrong and feel that it's not something you'd ever do to her in your right mind (dont try to use the alcohol excuse too much), you should keep it to yourself and focus on making things better from this point on.
Definitely don't keep it to yourself. I think he should tell her. As a man, when you fuck up, you gotta deal with the consequences.
Author:  thelenzel [ Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:55 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
Quote:
But is there any other way to overcome this guilt without going down that path?
Sometimes when you come to a tough decision in life, the easy choice is not always the best choice. You can either navigate through the shortcut, or you can face it head on, like a man.

My advice: tell her what happened. By choosing the hard path, you will learn so much about humility, dignity, and honor, and regardless of your girl's reaction, you will both be better off with the truth expressed.

(If you don't tell her, you'll always be the coward, at least in your own mind--but don't beat yourself up about this; you made a mistake, and your guilt demonstrates that you aren't a psychopath, which is something to be happy about :D)
i'm with wal on this.

i prefer honestly all the time. no matter what. i always want to know. even if it destroys my world, i still want to know. and i prefer to be 100% honest with people always, even when it's not convenient.

not all people are this way...

it's always intrigued me when people say "as long as he doesn't do it again, didn't really love her, and it really sorry and loves me...then i wouldn't want to know"

to me, that is like living a lie. the thought of living a lie makes me sick to my stomach.
That's you.
Yes, honesty first, but if its going to hurt her, she doesn't need to know. What she doesn't know can't hurt her.
You will forget about it in time, don't give it much attention.
Or if all else fails, you already cheated, you couldn't be loyal to her. Keep loyal to your feelings, whatever feels right, listen to it.
Though, sometimes doing the right thing will hurt people, which is this case.
Think about it, but don't think it too much. Either tell her, or just let it fade into the back of your mind, and let it stay there.
Author:  Sanz [ Sun Jul 24, 2011 4:19 am ]
Post subject: 
hey bud,

well chicks are wierd abouts stuff like this. i'd tell her if i were you BUT make it clear there was no feeling behind it. Like you don't have any feelings at all for the other girl and it only happened cause you were really drunk.

Your GF won't really mind too much about the action but more of what it means ie the meaning behind it. if you can make it clear there was no meaning you should be alright. Just be honest with her
Author:  thelenzel [ Sun Jul 24, 2011 4:38 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
hey bud,

well chicks are wierd abouts stuff like this. i'd tell her if i were you BUT make it clear there was no feeling behind it. Like you don't have any feelings at all for the other girl and it only happened cause you were really drunk.

Your GF won't really mind too much about the action but more of what it means ie the meaning behind it. if you can make it clear there was no meaning you should be alright. Just be honest with her
That's wrong in so many aspects.
First you're confessing your cheating, then you're making an excuse for it. Excuses are for the weak, either you tell her and afront the consequences, without trying to mask it, or you don't tell her.
Following a premise, if you say she cares more about the meaning:
Then thats an excuse for this guy to keep cheating and just tell her "baby its just sex, I love you"
How would you feel if she told you that?? "Baby I had sex with a friend of yours but it was just sex no feeling don't worry" ...
Making up excuses is just a path to continue doing it... if he gets drunk again and it happens again, he's going to "blame the alcohol" ...
To the op:
Tell her, or don't tell her.
And if you decide to tell her, just apologize, but don't make a silly excuse. Prepare for the worst, she may dump you, or she will be mad for a few weeks and then forgive you or she will want to forget your name. If you tell her be ready for the consequences.
Author:  Sanz [ Sun Jul 24, 2011 6:58 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
hey bud,

well chicks are wierd abouts stuff like this. i'd tell her if i were you BUT make it clear there was no feeling behind it. Like you don't have any feelings at all for the other girl and it only happened cause you were really drunk.

Your GF won't really mind too much about the action but more of what it means ie the meaning behind it. if you can make it clear there was no meaning you should be alright. Just be honest with her
That's wrong in so many aspects.
First you're confessing your cheating, then you're making an excuse for it. Excuses are for the weak, either you tell her and afront the consequences, without trying to mask it, or you don't tell her.
Following a premise, if you say she cares more about the meaning:
Then thats an excuse for this guy to keep cheating and just tell her "baby its just sex, I love you"
How would you feel if she told you that?? "Baby I had sex with a friend of yours but it was just sex no feeling don't worry" ...
Making up excuses is just a path to continue doing it... if he gets drunk again and it happens again, he's going to "blame the alcohol" ...
To the op:
Tell her, or don't tell her.
And if you decide to tell her, just apologize, but don't make a silly excuse. Prepare for the worst, she may dump you, or she will be mad for a few weeks and then forgive you or she will want to forget your name. If you tell her be ready for the consequences.
Bro i didnt say anything about making excuses.
girls are different from us so you can't compare us. If she told us she had sex with one of our mates it will affect us much differently than if you told that sort of thing to her. Girls are not as concerned about the act as us males.... they are more concerned with the feelings behind it, ie if you love her ect. girls are emotional beings
Author:  Danzella [ Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Haha some good discussions and opinions on this thread and I've just read through them.

I haven't told her yet, and things lately between us have been much better, we're getting along a lot more, making each other laugh, etc.. and I know deep down in myself that I wont cheat again and that it was just a stupid mistake.

I'm not making excuses, I did cheat, however, I've decided that I'm not going to tell her because I don't want to fuck it all up over one stupid mistake, that I know she isn't going to find out anyway.

Whether this makes me weak, or "less of a man" in your eyes, well I couldn't care less. Thanks for the advice :) I appreciate it.
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
watch out for karma :lol:
Author:  Danzella [ Sun Jul 24, 2011 12:48 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
watch out for karma :lol:
Haha Karma is my friend!
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