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GF Lies
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Author:  JuanAntonioB [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 4:02 pm ]
Post subject:  GF Lies
my gf has been working extremely hard to turn me AFC.

Its been tough but I can see how easy guys fall into this shit.

I feel like im in personal fight or struggle with myself. I made all the right moves to get this girl, and now that I have her and shes fully invested, I feel like I dont know where to go from here.

Anyways thats aside from the point of this post.

Ive been noticing my gf will lie sometimes, white lies... ex. she texts me an hour after i texted her, saying "hi baby i just woke up, bnalblabla"

but i know that she was up earlier because i can see on SPAM what time she was last online. (and she doesnt know that the iPhone can see this, cuz her BB cant, i dont think)

anwyays, im not acting like a policeman on her or anyting; it was just somethign I noticed.

but should this shit bother me? shoudl i get mad about it? bring it up? it kinda does bother me a slight little bit but then i just remind myself to go hit on other girls and I instantly feel better.

thoughts?
Author:  Apocalyptica [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 4:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
it's your GF, who is lying, and you hit on other girls to feel better?

Something is completely wrong here.
Author:  Dalinkin [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 4:26 pm ]
Post subject: 
If that is all it is, I really wouldn't make it a big deal. I have done that with a ton of friends and gf. I'll wake up, do my own thing for a bit and not worry about what everyone else is up to. It is a nice feeling to just have your own time. And then once I've actually woken up, had breakfast and done my own thing, I'll start texting/calling people to see whats up.

I don't consider this a lie at all, but that is just me. I think it would just make things worse if you just started to accuse her of lying. If it gets worse, like she starts lying about where she has been then I would call her out. But for now, give her a little space ya know. She doesn't need to roll over and text you right away, and you shouldn't do that either.
Author:  JuanAntonioB [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 4:33 pm ]
Post subject: 
@apocalypta - what Im saying is that, because I used to EASILY become AFC, ( i was in essence a major major chode from ages 15-24) the way I deal with it today is that I reference myself with my success. over the past two years I have made a huge transformation, gone thru many women, and now settled with one.

BUT , when I get these feelings of chode, I will just reference myself with success and the feelings go away. Its just a mindset really, because if I know I can get any other chick, and my GF knows the same, then my current relationship will stay the way I want it to.

@Dalinkin- agree 100% with you. the only thing is that she has never done this before. she wuold always text me within minutes of me texting her. perhaps shes getting more comfortable in the relationship..
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:45 am ]
Post subject: 
i was in a relationship with a woman who did this stuff regularly, and here is my take on it.

two points.

1. don't call her out on it. why? because if you do, you are reactionary, insecure, and overly-attached (basically...afc)

2. don't reward it. wait, what? exactly, it's confusing. if you call her out on it, you are afc. but if you let her "get away with it", you are also an idiot (basically...afc...just in another way.

it is a negative behavior. lying is lying. i know a couple of people above me in this thread said "it's no big deal, i wouldn't even acknowledge it", well that's fine, if they are perfectly content being in an actual relationship with a liar, then whatever. but i am here to tell you, i lived with a pathelogical liar for eleven years, and it was a living hell.

here is the danger of "little white lies".

1. they are fucking pointless.
2. they are completely unnecessary.
3. if you can't trust your woman to say "was just doing my own thing" instead of "oh, hey baby, just woke up"...then you think you can trust her when it comes to things that actually matter of any substance? no. you can't.
4. any woman who lies about stupid and pointless shit, is either a: character deficient, or b: immature, or c: both (and that's like 96% of them, but still you gotta ask yourself is that what you want)

so, anyway, back to my original point, you can't call her out on it, cuz you're an afc if you do. and you also can't let her get away with it, cuz you're an afc if you do.

you basically need to punish her (like the child she is behaving as), you can do this in many ways, and all of them are completely called for. dishonesty is completely unacceptable in my opinion. ways to punish her? freezeout, emotional distance, doing other things, being less available, being around other girls, etc.

if she wants to fuck with you, fuck back.

if she keeps on fucking with you, move on.

trust me, BY GOD when i say this, you don't need a professional liar in your life. and i will never again trust a woman who can't say "meh, didn't feel like talking earlier" over one who says "omg, baby, i love you, i JUST woke up" when i know it's a lie.

maybe it's the narcissist in me, but being lied to really fucking insults my intelligence.
Author:  Psych3r [ Thu Jul 14, 2011 4:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: GF Lies
Quote:
my gf has been working extremely hard to turn me AFC.

Its been tough but I can see how easy guys fall into this shit.

I feel like im in personal fight or struggle with myself. I made all the right moves to get this girl, and now that I have her and shes fully invested, I feel like I dont know where to go from here.

Anyways thats aside from the point of this post.

Ive been noticing my gf will lie sometimes, white lies... ex. she texts me an hour after i texted her, saying "hi baby i just woke up, bnalblabla"

but i know that she was up earlier because i can see on SPAM what time she was last online. (and she doesnt know that the iPhone can see this, cuz her BB cant, i dont think)

anwyays, im not acting like a policeman on her or anyting; it was just somethign I noticed.

but should this shit bother me? shoudl i get mad about it? bring it up? it kinda does bother me a slight little bit but then i just remind myself to go hit on other girls and I instantly feel better.

thoughts?
completely dysfunctional.

I can't tell who is less capable of a healthy relationship here. You both seem like knuckleheads.
Author:  JuanAntonioB [ Thu Jul 14, 2011 5:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
lol yes reading it again makes me seem a little retarded.

but i realised i dont raelly give a shit if she lies, until it starts becoming a problem.

for now i will just continue enjoying this relationship while its good.

im sure it will go to shit sooner or later
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Fri Jul 15, 2011 12:19 am ]
Post subject: 
juan, i don't think your post was dysfunctional.

in fact, i think it was a perfectly normal response to being lied to.

most humans don't like being lied to, especially FOR NO GOOD REASON.
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Fri Jul 15, 2011 1:01 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
juan, i don't think your post was dysfunctional.

in fact, i think it was a perfectly normal response to being lied to.

most humans don't like being lied to, especially FOR NO GOOD REASON.
I never agree with Mack, but I agree with the above.
lol :lol:
Author:  snillaheart [ Fri Jul 15, 2011 3:25 am ]
Post subject: 
my best friend was a compulsive manipulating liar and this sounds so much like the shit he used to feed me. if your gf is anything like my ol buddy shell tend to lie to make an impression like she doesnt care, shell act like shes clueless sometimes and play stupid, shell often say things to get under your skin. dont react and maintain your inner self validation, meaning you dont give a fuck what people are saying or thinking of you and you think, feel, and act only cause you think its what you should do. sometimes when my buddy played stupid, i played even more of a dumbass than him, i call this dumb and dumber ha it sorta twisted his shit on him and all in all it was fun for me. just my input good luck
Author:  driedfruit [ Fri Jul 15, 2011 7:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
You can't win a girl unless you're ready to lose her.

Now, I know this changes when you're in a LTR and truly love her or share financial obligations together, but this little shit that is bothering you will only become a big problem later.
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