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Went AFC with my "girlfriend", need advice
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Author:  Vanazzul [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 12:47 pm ]
Post subject:  Went AFC with my "girlfriend", need advice
Hey guys,

So this girl I've been seeing on and off for the past 5 months. Last time I FClosed her, she mentionned something as if she wanted us to be exclusive (not in those terms, but that's what it meant).

Last saturday, I was at her place and she was with her guy best friend. She told me that guy is in love with her (but she only likes him as a friend, guy is typical AFC, not that attractive either so no worries for me). One thing that pisses me off is that she said she doesn't want me to flirt/touch/kiss her when that guy is there because she doesn't want to lose him as a friend. When she said that, I said ok, I understand.

First question here, should I bring it up to her that I don't like that or would that be AFC? I mean if she does bring it up, I'll be honest and say exactly what I said before but should I bring it up?

Also, since we spent all evening the three of us, I couldn't kiss her goodnight or anything. I did kino when the guy wasn't looking but he was sticking there like glue (I mean he never went to pee even once). Since I couldn't kiss her, as we left, I gave her kiss on the cheeks and whispered in her ears that I wanted to see her this week.

Second question here, would you guys say that was an AFC move? And should I follow with it? I already know when and where I want to invite her.

Last question is something I got from reading out here about relationships (I mean gaming a girl is easy to me, LTR is horrible). Would I be right in saying "Just do whatever you want to do. Call her if you feel like calling her, invite her if you feel like inviting her, kiss her if you feel like kissing her, etc. All in moderation"?

Thanks for the advice.
Author:  AcesHigh [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 5:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
What I would do is simply not hang out with her when she is with her friend. Then when she calls you while she is hanging out with him make it sound like you are doing something exciting or hanging out with your other girl friends. Remember to always be honest. An Alpha Male does what he wants and if she doesn't want to give you what you want then you will get it from somewhere else, remember you have choices.
Author:  TheFreshPrince [ Mon Jul 11, 2011 9:11 pm ]
Post subject: 
One question you need to decide the answer to is this: Does she really view this as a big deal/Is this a really important thing to her?

There are some situations a woman will put you in because she wants a particular outcome. She may do this often. Sometimes these things are not just important, but vital to her, and other times, she just wants that outcome. In your case, she doesn't want to lose her friend. But how good of a friend is he to her? If she's known him since Kindergarten, then it may be that anything you do contrary to her opinion of what will bring the outcome she wants, may be interpreted as encroaching on her territory, and she may not put up with that. But if she's just mildly friends with this guy, she may not want to lose him, but she is merely presenting her idea of how to keep being friends with him.

You are the Alpha. That doesn't mean being a jerk to her. But this is obviously bothering you. Tell her straight up that you tried this once, and that this isn't going to work for you. She needs to choose between one of you. This DOESN'T mean she has to lose her friend or you, just that you won't put up with this while he's around. Just tell her you either won't be there when he's there, or you can continue to act the way you normally do when he's around. Give her the option, so that she knows she's in control of who her friends are, and that you're not trying to be that jerky controlling AFC, but that you won't put up with this.
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 12:40 am ]
Post subject: 
i would have agreed.

and then totally felt her up and starting making out with her passionately in front of him.

smacking her ass, calling her baby, kisses on the cheek, affection overload.

lol, no idea how this would turn out.
Author:  TheFreshPrince [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 12:45 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
i would have agreed.

and then totally felt her up and starting making out with her passionately in front of him.

smacking her ass, calling her baby, kisses on the cheek, affection overload.

lol, no idea how this would turn out.
Definitely! Haha. No, seriously, not an overload, but whatever you normally do.
Author:  Vanazzul [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 12:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks y'all for the advice. So you're pretty much suggesting what I thought of doing, meaning coming out clean to her. Either she lets her friend know that we're dating each other and from there on end I can touch/kiss her when he's there, or I'm just not going to be there when she's with him.

Also, I decided I would follow on my "I want to see you this week" cause that's what I want to do.

Cheers!
Author:  TheFreshPrince [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 2:24 pm ]
Post subject: 
Go for it. Best of luck! Keep us posted... ;)
Author:  Vanazzul [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 3:43 pm ]
Post subject: 
Ouche, I try to IM IM her the morning and she was so cold and literally logged off on me... Couldn't even attempt to setup a meet where I could have discussed this. No clue why she was mad at me, but I guess I'll just freeze her out for a while. Back to the field...
Author:  AcesHigh [ Tue Jul 12, 2011 6:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Good choice Vana!
Author:  Lemarc [ Wed Jul 13, 2011 9:48 am ]
Post subject: 
So any good news??
Author:  Vanazzul [ Wed Jul 13, 2011 12:32 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
So any good news??
Well, as I said, HB7 was super cold to me yesterday morning and logged off on me. So I'm freezing her out, if she wants to see me again, she'll be the one calling.

In the meantime, I got HB8 # on Facebook via PM after gaming her on Facebook (where HB7 can obviously read it).

I had planned to take out HB7 to the amusement park+fireworks this week-end, but I guess I'll still go but approach HBs out there solo instead.
Author:  driedfruit [ Wed Jul 13, 2011 5:20 pm ]
Post subject: 
You did the right thing for yourself. You're not an AFC.
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