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Gf wants space...
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Author:  Impreza_217 [ Tue Jun 28, 2011 8:13 am ]
Post subject:  Gf wants space...
Okay so i've been out of a job for a while and don't do much these days, so i mostly text her if there's nothing else going on. Tonight she told me over the phone that she doesn't like me texting her so much and she doesn't like talking on the phone, at all....

Right... So do i just stop texting her and only text to reply to her texts? We've been together for over a year, so it's not like we just met and i'm all up in her space... Oh well, i'm not a needy person so i'm thinking i'll just cut back on texts...

Any thoughts on this subject?
Author:  Hakuna [ Tue Jun 28, 2011 8:19 am ]
Post subject: 
By the sound of it, your relationship is already in the gallows. I recommend getting out before she drains your soul any further, but if you insist on staying with her...

Be less available and less needy. And get another girl to like you.

If a girl overtly communicates her lowered interest level in you, that means the only reason she hasn't broken up with you yet is because she hasn't found somebody else.
Author:  vicparkguy83 [ Tue Jun 28, 2011 8:25 am ]
Post subject: 
Could be nothing, could be the start of the break-up phase, could be cheating. If she enjoys your company, you probably got nothing to worry about.
Author:  Impreza_217 [ Tue Jun 28, 2011 8:33 am ]
Post subject: 
We have been arguing a lot lately so im thinking that she just doesnt wanna argue too much and thinks that less texting and no phone calls would make things easier.... I guess that makes sense to me, too.
Author:  P1nkstar [ Tue Jun 28, 2011 9:31 am ]
Post subject: 
Stop contacting her.
Get other girls liking you.

Do this if you want her back. If she leaves you, then that was going to happen anyway.
Author:  Wal [ Tue Jun 28, 2011 2:18 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
We have been arguing a lot lately so im thinking that she just doesnt wanna argue too much and thinks that less texting and no phone calls would make things easier.... I guess that makes sense to me, too.
It is generally a very healthy thing, once a relationship is past that "honeymoon" phase, to develop separate hobbies and other activities. So make some! What is that one thing you have always wanted to do? Learn an instrument? Rebuild a motorcycle? Write a novel? Learn yoga? Whatever it is, engage yourself in your interests. It will distract you from being bored, and make you more interesting and satisfied with life. And, your girlfriend won't have to keep you occupied.

Remember, your girlfriend isn't responsible for your boredom. Take the lead and do something about it. 8)
Author:  Impreza_217 [ Tue Jun 28, 2011 4:47 pm ]
Post subject: 
That's good advice. I guess i just need to look for things to keep me busy. Kind of sucks tho because we used to be so close and couldn't stay away from each other every day for over 6 months and it never got boring.... These days it seems like even texting is becoming too much, let alone hanging out.

Oh well, i guess i have to play the game now.
Author:  JuanAntonioB [ Tue Jun 28, 2011 7:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Good advice here.

Based on your last reply, it seems the relationship is at the stage it is because of the very fact that you were spending all too much time together in the beginning.

Im no relationship guru (im about to post a question about my own) but IMO all relationships have a timeline. And if you put in all these hours together via phone, text, in person, etc, this shortens the timeline.

So its best to spread it out evenly over time, depending on how long you want the relationship to last of course...
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Tue Jun 28, 2011 10:59 pm ]
Post subject: 
Text her:

"You've got all the space you need. You know where to find me. :)"

Then freeze her out forever or until she shows up at your house.

If she really wants you, she will come find you.

Period.

Do not respond to ANY calls or texts after that.

NONE.
Author:  Thumb [ Wed Jun 29, 2011 1:40 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Text her:

"You've got all the space you need. You know where to find me. :)"

Then freeze her out forever or until she shows up at your house.

If she really wants you, she will come find you.

Period.

Do not respond to ANY calls or texts after that.

NONE.
This! (Bit extreme but effective. Could result pissing her off though.)

This way if you will find out what's really going on. Maybe she needs time to clear her head, or you were being too clingy. Whatever it was after some time she is either going to be running back to you and miss you or.... or doing nothing which it'll mean you have a problem. Also I like how your gf told you this openly rather than just ignore you.

Plus what Wal said. :)
Author:  Impreza_217 [ Wed Jun 29, 2011 7:38 am ]
Post subject: 
I like that she's straight forward with me, it really helps.

Today i held back a little bit and when i got bored i just watched some tv. She noticed the change and called me late at night and we didnt have any arguments all day. I love cases where less is more...this is definitely one of 'em and its working great.

I just gotta keep it up until i get a job or something here pretty soon. Thanks fellas!
Author:  calimoxo [ Wed Jun 29, 2011 10:44 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Text her:

"You've got all the space you need. You know where to find me. :)"

Then freeze her out forever or until she shows up at your house.

If she really wants you, she will come find you.

Period.

Do not respond to ANY calls or texts after that.

NONE.
ICE COLD, BABY.
But I gotta say I'm of a similar mindset to Mack. Any time, ANY TIME I've find myself trying to patch up, or fix, or talk through, or reason through things, it all goes awry...or you may think its fixed but what actually happened was you had slipped into becoming a total AFC bitch!

Take the action. don't be petty - the repsonse Mack provided is fine, straightforward, smiley to neutralise the tone. But the MOST important part is the zero contact that follows.
She says she wants space. Cool, she can have it. You enjoy yourself in other pursuits.
It's space on your terms though. The only way you will engage her is if she gets off her arse and comes to you physically, as the last text you sent stated. If she can't be arsed to even do that, NEXT.

Lovely.
Author:  Herne [ Wed Jun 29, 2011 5:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
what Mack said
Author:  Little Panda [ Wed Jun 29, 2011 8:35 pm ]
Post subject: 
Said what Mack
Author:  P1nkstar [ Thu Jun 30, 2011 11:17 am ]
Post subject: 
Mack said what
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