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Need help with ex who is back with HER ex!
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Author:  cadmium [ Sat Jun 25, 2011 11:12 pm ]
Post subject:  Need help with ex who is back with HER ex!
Girlfriend:

HB9--always in high demand. Nice personality, but SUPER cute and fun to be around. Your girl-next-door type of girl.

Situation:

We dated for about 2.5 months before I went into AFC mode, gave her all the power, and she dumped me. Soon after, she got back with her ex (with whom she had dated for over a year)--he was apparently a dick, but still, acted like more of a man than I did, I guess. I've blocked her from my FB, we have few mutual friends, and the only OPEN line of communication we have is text/phone call. I haven't contacted her since the break-up (about a week).

Problem:

I've dated 9 girls in the 24 years I've been on this Earth and this girl is the first one I've actually had serious feelings for. Everything I knew girls found attractive got thrown out the window. I want her back.

My Efforts::

I'm going to try Matt Huston's EX2 system. Unfortunately, that doesn't address anything about an ex getting back with HER ex.

Also, it doesn't even address that your ex might be getting along great with her new man.

So I'm going to continue no-contact for 3 more weeks and if she contacts me, I'll reply, "Sorry, I'm heading out/I'm out doing ____ right now but I'll get back to you tomorrow", wait a few days, contact her to set up the meet-up.

Any help with my situation would be appreciated, thanks.
Author:  LVATTEMPTS [ Sun Jun 26, 2011 12:51 am ]
Post subject: 
dude, get the fuck away.

simple as that, I actually think that for the time you dated her she was thinking about her ex. This ex she has, that she is with now, will ALWAYS have some kind of pull on her, it's tough to swallow.... but she doesn't want you. Espiecally since you went afc and the relationship ended in 3 months. If a girl really,really likes you than it isn't going to end so soon. This is a battle you can not win, get the hell out of there before you get more depressed.
Author:  djdante [ Sun Jun 26, 2011 1:05 am ]
Post subject: 
Hey man,

I agree with poster above.

There are so many amazing women out there, and as you work on yourself as a man more and more, you will realise that life is too short to worry about a girl who has baggage like that. Don't make decisions that can put you in pain for many more months. Focus your attention on working on yourself and avoiding women who come with baggage you shouldn't have to deal with.
Author:  cadmium [ Sun Jun 26, 2011 1:12 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
dude, get the fuck away.

simple as that, I actually think that for the time you dated her she was thinking about her ex. This ex she has, that she is with now, will ALWAYS have some kind of pull on her, it's tough to swallow.... but she doesn't want you. Espiecally since you went afc and the relationship ended in 3 months. If a girl really,really likes you than it isn't going to end so soon. This is a battle you can not win, get the hell out of there before you get more depressed.
I realize I may have been burned in a rebound relationship. Still, I think I'd never forgive myself if I just gave up outright.

You think there's any value in having the meet-up to show her I'm completely fine and attractive (again)? Then, somewhere along the line when she finds out her ex is the same dickwad he was, I'll at least have the option of letting her back into my life or not.

Thanks for the reply.
Author:  Breex18 [ Sun Jun 26, 2011 1:41 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Quote:
dude, get the fuck away.

simple as that, I actually think that for the time you dated her she was thinking about her ex. This ex she has, that she is with now, will ALWAYS have some kind of pull on her, it's tough to swallow.... but she doesn't want you. Espiecally since you went afc and the relationship ended in 3 months. If a girl really,really likes you than it isn't going to end so soon. This is a battle you can not win, get the hell out of there before you get more depressed.
I realize I may have been burned in a rebound relationship. Still, I think I'd never forgive myself if I just gave up outright.

You think there's any value in having the meet-up to show her I'm completely fine and attractive (again)? Then, somewhere along the line when she finds out her ex is the same dickwad he was, I'll at least have the option of letting her back into my life or not.

Thanks for the reply.
hey, im a girl so maybe i can give you a little perspective on this.

This EXACT situation has happened to me. I was with the guy for a little while then he got back with an ex. As other people have said, i think we were both victims of a rebound. anyways, i know you think that you will never get over this girl but there are so many other girls out there waiting for you! i too, tried to get the guy back and it just blew up in my face. Your girl dated her bf for over a year. thats a pretty long time for a girl. she has hardwired into her brain that her ex was a huge part of her life since they were together for so long. I think she just saw you as a means of getting over her ex but she realized it wasnt working.
Author:  tenonine [ Sun Jun 26, 2011 4:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
Here's the good news: The best way to get this girl back is also the best, most healthy and constructive thing for you in the long run. Which is to move on.

That's right. If you move on and start seeing other women and put her out of your mind, then there's a *chance* that she'll come back to you after she remembers what went wrong with this ex.

More likely, you'll meet someone else you like more than her. And that really is the most happy ending to this predicament.

To wait around hatching schemes that you think will lure her back to you, that's just going to lead to failure, leaving you more demoralized and more damaged. And then it's going to be that much harder starting fresh.

Rack this up as a valuable learning experience. Cut your losses. And move on.
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