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need help with my Ex - Urgent!!!
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Author:  sheps [ Mon Jun 06, 2011 10:59 am ]
Post subject:  need help with my Ex - Urgent!!!
heres the back story if you dont care skip to down below all the *'s

my Ex (who i want back) broke up with me about a month or two ago, i did the wrong thing and became all needy ''oh baby i love you so much'' and all that shit but about 2/3weeks ago i stopped initiating contact and she started texting me. she came over on saturday (two days ago) after work (around midnight she works silly hours) and i basically kicked her out but not in a mean way i just couldnt be bothered to deal with being her emotional tissue. She wants to meet up either tomorrow -tuesday- or wednesday this week and due to her work schedule i can only control which of those two days it is

****************************
Basically i want to try and get her back i need your guys advice on things like
-what we should do (im in London by the way)
-how to put a time constraint on the meet up but still giving us enough time for me to display how im all Alpha and attractive but that my time isnt all for her
-how to act around her
-how to make her focus on all the good things she already knew about me while ALSO displaying my new more attractive qualities (and what they are :s)


a few things
-comments that say ''you have oneitis move on'' etc are not helpful, i'd like to give this a good shot if i fail atleast it will help me move on
-i have accepted that for what ever reason we may never get back together and im ok with it
-she wants to be friends but i bloody well dont

Any advice or tips or anything would be great, this is kind of URGENT though guys. Thanks very much!!!

Sheps
Author:  Dr. Spargenator [ Mon Jun 06, 2011 3:07 pm ]
Post subject: 
i cant answer all of that because i reqlly wouldnt know all of that. but i can tell you how to act. there are 4 vibes you should have around a women. be dominant, commanding (not in a bossy way). Be a strong leader. Be fun and playful, and exciting. you want to demonstrate an understanding of her world. and lastly, you want to be open and speaking your truth. those are the 4 vibes. basically. dominancy. playfulness. understanding and. openess. She started contacting you again so thats a good sign. you probably want to dhv on her pretty good. maybe even bring a couple of little girlfriends to the hangout. not actual girlfriends just girls who you are friends with.
Author:  BigRyana [ Tue Jun 07, 2011 5:42 am ]
Post subject: 
The only shot you have (in my opinion) is to be funny, cocky, but emotionally disconnected from her. Make sure you get a phone call from another girl (you can tell her she is just a friend). If you try an go in and show her how much you care by being romantic, showing your feelings, etc, you will fail ultimately (unless she is in-between other guys at the moment, she might keep you around as a temp). If you spark some jealousy/interest, she may realize she wants you back, but it is unlikely.

I would also like to point out that if she has made it clear she wants only to be friends and you are still trying to get her back to gf status, don't bother. You will "try" at the expense of your own dignity. But, I understand if you don't take this advice because many men need to find this out on their own. Good luck.
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Tue Jun 07, 2011 9:37 am ]
Post subject: 
why try to pretend like you aren't madly in love with a girl (that you are madly in love with) just to be around her, so she will be around you, so you can hide your true feelings to be with her, only not in a genuine way.

sounds like absolutel torture to me.

if the name of the game is to be emotionally disconnected from a girl, i say go find one you truly don't give a fuck about.

my two cents.

better than trying to convince yourself, your girl, and the world that you don't have oneitis. (oops, i used the word)
Author:  sheps [ Thu Jun 09, 2011 9:26 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
why try to pretend like you aren't madly in love with a girl
simply, when we broke up i was all AFC ''but i love you'' and all that and it drove her away so im worried about pushing her away before i can get her to be attracted to me again.

its a concern

and im not trying to convince anybody that im not in love with this girl im completely head over heels but like i said i dont want to pull to hard and push her away
need advice (to help get her back)
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Thu Jun 09, 2011 9:41 am ]
Post subject: 
idk, i'm convinced that once you blow it with a girl, there is no recovering.

at least, not permanently.

in the back of their minds, they always remember the afc'ness...

women all want a "flawless" man, that means no slipping...ever
Author:  Lodewijkp [ Thu Jun 09, 2011 11:23 am ]
Post subject: 
from experience .. don't get her back ... i don't know why you even would bother.

lets put it this way .. the difference between gettin g back you ex or picking up a new hot girl :

getting a new girl :

Difficulty : low - mediocre
Time needed : 30 minutes ranging to 4 hours
Game required : no game .. approaching could be enough - otherwise basic game
Win - lose output : win 90% lose 10 % ( you only lose some time )
Fun factor / Adventure : Very high ... unpredictable situations
Torment level : Low... it's like visiting the zoo while smoking a spliff.

Getting your ex back
Difficulty : Comparable to NASA first moonlanding, il recommend extreme accurate mathematics and astrology.
Time needed : Time in which you could easily fuck 10 new girls
Game required : High , Most of your game isn't effective because she already knows you - it could feel like gaming your mom .... sounds retarded...
Win - lose output : 10 % win.. getting back to the same boring relationship , 90 % lose - the time you need to invest.
Fun factor , Adventure : same boring shit ...it's like watching the whole series of lost for the 10th time... jack isn't fucking kate and sawyer is the shit .. 10th time to conclude this - period.
Torment level : Imagine this ... sitting in front of hitler and trying to convince him that rainbows , unicorns and purple bunnies do exist and we need to holy temples and shrines to honour those enitites in a ancient greek and roman fashion , then we all spin around drunk and have massive orgies with unicorns and fat german girls.

Conclusion ; well i believe unicorns did exist but they are extinct , i've seen purple paint bunnies at eastern and tomorrow there was a rainbow over my house so that's all congruent .. the only thing we are missing is a nazi ...but we could replace that with the EX-GF word.
Alot of people claim that NASAs first moon landing was fake
Jack sucks - i don't even want him to f*ck kate ... sawyer is the shit and it seems we all like pessimism and humor.

it's better to get a new girl .. and walk around with her on your arm so your exgf can see.
Author:  sheps [ Thu Jun 09, 2011 12:36 pm ]
Post subject: 
Lodewijkp did you know that on an internet forum topic, the longer it goes on there is a mathematical certainty that someone will bring up Hitler or the Nazis. well done you managed it after 7 posts :P

but you did cheer me up and i cant fault your logic, Jack is a douche and Sawyer is the shit. its undeniable.
Unfortunately i cant logic away my feelings, im definitely going to start gaming other chicks (and hopefully i'll find a better one) but i cant think away my feelings... i thought it was supposed to be girls that were the emotional ones not us ...
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Thu Jun 09, 2011 11:04 pm ]
Post subject: 
all humans are emotional, men and women

women are just completely controlled by their emotions,

whereas men occasionally interject some logic.

lodewijkp, that was some seriously funny shit
Author:  Hakuna [ Sat Jun 11, 2011 2:09 am ]
Post subject: 
I think there are a couple of cardinal rules that will help you. Most of them have already been stated via the input these other guys have given you, but I will condense it for you:

(a) Whoever is LESS invested in a relationship, has MORE power.

(b) It is always better to start a NEW relationship, than try and revive an old one. NOT ONLY because it is more difficult in a practical sense (because it very well may not be), but because your old relationship was most likely INHIBITED BY AFC TENDENCIES and by going back, you phase-shift back into an AFC mentality.

(c) To keep a girl, you must not be afraid to lose her.

What you need is a high dose of attraction, that means she needs to be aware that you are WANTED by other women (get other girls to like you, preferably her friends), hit the gym, and game her properly. Disappear on some days, do NOT text her concurrently or more than she texts you, and make sure that SHE IS THE ONE CHASING YOU. Your job is to initiate the pursuit by cultivating attraction, but you must back off to have it grow virally.
Author:  learnandgrow [ Sat Jun 11, 2011 10:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
:lol: Brilliant. This post resulted in the most well earned rep I've sent so far.
Quote:
from experience .. don't get her back ... i don't know why you even would bother.

lets put it this way .. the difference between gettin g back you ex or picking up a new hot girl :

getting a new girl :

Difficulty : low - mediocre
Time needed : 30 minutes ranging to 4 hours
Game required : no game .. approaching could be enough - otherwise basic game
Win - lose output : win 90% lose 10 % ( you only lose some time )
Fun factor / Adventure : Very high ... unpredictable situations
Torment level : Low... it's like visiting the zoo while smoking a spliff.

Getting your ex back
Difficulty : Comparable to NASA first moonlanding, il recommend extreme accurate mathematics and astrology.
Time needed : Time in which you could easily fuck 10 new girls
Game required : High , Most of your game isn't effective because she already knows you - it could feel like gaming your mom .... sounds retarded...
Win - lose output : 10 % win.. getting back to the same boring relationship , 90 % lose - the time you need to invest.
Fun factor , Adventure : same boring shit ...it's like watching the whole series of lost for the 10th time... jack isn't fucking kate and sawyer is the shit .. 10th time to conclude this - period.
Torment level : Imagine this ... sitting in front of hitler and trying to convince him that rainbows , unicorns and purple bunnies do exist and we need to holy temples and shrines to honour those enitites in a ancient greek and roman fashion , then we all spin around drunk and have massive orgies with unicorns and fat german girls.

Conclusion ; well i believe unicorns did exist but they are extinct , i've seen purple paint bunnies at eastern and tomorrow there was a rainbow over my house so that's all congruent .. the only thing we are missing is a nazi ...but we could replace that with the EX-GF word.
Alot of people claim that NASAs first moon landing was fake
Jack sucks - i don't even want him to f*ck kate ... sawyer is the shit and it seems we all like pessimism and humor.

it's better to get a new girl .. and walk around with her on your arm so your exgf can see.
Author:  Jer585 [ Sat Jun 11, 2011 10:44 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
from experience .. don't get her back ... i don't know why you even would bother.
This ^ just forgetting about her is the best thing you can do I went through what your going through for 2 years and it was constant hell I think the odds of you establishing a stable relationship with this girl are slim.. but if you REALLY want to try then go for it.. but if you fail forget her

my 2 pennies
Author:  sheps [ Sun Jun 12, 2011 9:11 am ]
Post subject: 
as it happens guys i was out last night with some mates and spotted a hottie (HB9) that was a few years below me at school, we got talking her and her friend came over and although my mate (whos a ''natural'') nearly out gamed me i walked away with her bbm...which at my level of game im pleased with :)
just thought i'd let you guys know im taking the advice from both sides of the argument

Going bowling with my Ex tomorrow... we will see
Author:  sheps [ Fri Jun 17, 2011 2:45 pm ]
Post subject: 
She stood be up for some stupid reason so i told her i thought it would be best if she didnt contact me anymore. I dont know if that was a good way to handle it but i cant handle being her emotional tissue; she'd text me and call me to tell me how stressed out she was but i couldnt do the same and i had to act like a bf in that sense but not get any of the company/affection etc that comes with being a bf...

anyway i'm going to go a week or two with no contact and then maybe text her if i dont find something better...

your input has been great so far guys if you have any more to add please feel free

Sheps
Author:  Wal [ Sat Jun 18, 2011 9:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
sheps,
Please consider the following two statements, which are the actionable elements of your last post, and tell me you don't think that, somehow, you are missing something:
Quote:
She stood be [sic] up for some stupid reason...
Quote:
anyway i'm going to go a week or two with no contact and then maybe text her...
Come on, man. This is called cognitive dissonance. It is just a classy way of defining self-inflicted mental torture.

Call that HB9 hottie, grab a bottle of Alize and have some fun! :lol:
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