PUA Forum :: Friend of GF Trying too Hard?

Hey XXX,

I really appreciate you're trying to help me out, but I have everything planned out already. No matter which day it is, seeing all of you there will definitely be enough to show how much you care about her so I feel that the best thing you could do is be there for her on this day and let me handle the rest.

As her boyfriend, I feel it's my task to organize this myself. I really do appreciate that you care and if you have any comments or additional opinions that would spice up this event, please share. Otherwise, I will gladly do what is neccessary to make her get the best out of this night, of course, with your presence.

Take care.

Hi adonis,

Yes of course you are right! I’m really sorry if I was a bit too much enthusiastic, I’m only glad that you prepare smth for her, because we are quite good friends now.
Please excuse me if I was too much involved, I’m not going to tell you what you should do, it was quite stupid from me!

Actually I had only thought about doing smth myself for her for some time, but did not prepare anything special. And since I’ve known you were her boyfriend, I knew I should better wait and see, even if I had this idea. In fact, I would have liked to do smth by myself if I’d be at your place, so I completely understand!
So, as I told you earlier I was anyway planning to call you, to know if you had already planned smth, and was not thinking about doing smth without informing you first. I never wanted to pull the rug from under your feet! That’s even why I called directly when I saw your message, I was quite waiting for it!

So don’t worry, I’m not going to bother you more: it’s even easier for me just to come and have fun! )))
Still tell me if you need any help, to prepare smth or if you have a special plan to keep the surprise till the end. I’ll be available if necessary, and else I’ll just come and enjoy your party!
See you adonis, good job!!

The strange thing is: This guy thinks they have a very strong friendship with my girlfriend whereas my girlfriend thinks he is weird and clingy and she wants to avoid seeing him this much.

Do you guys suggest that I should talk to my gf about this after the bday party?

Updates!

This guy tells my girlfriend he has a surprise for her at the end of the party as he leaves. Then today, he gives her a pack of hand creams and lotions from her favorite body shop.

She calls me and tells me he got him this as if she doesn't care (not like "Hey, you know what! XXX got me this as a present!"). When I ask how he knows about her body shop, she says she has no idea and also finds it strange. Then she tells me that she got the present, got home without opening it and called me to hear my voice. She also told me that I am her best gift to reassure me that nothing is wrong.

Then I make a joke like "Hmm, maybe it is also his favorite body shop. That's why." and we laugh.

Is it only me that thinks this guy is trying too hard for a "friend"? Would you get a girl who has a boyfriend a present like this?

Author:	adonis_boy [ Tue May 17, 2011 5:34 pm ]
Post subject:	Friend of GF Trying too Hard?
There is this guy friend of my girlfriend. They are not best friends but they see each other every day because they have the same classes in uni. My gf once admitted that she is fed up with seeing him every day and he wants to meet her at every event like parties, festivals, and she finds him weird. Next week is my gf's bday and I am organizing a surprise party for her. I also invited this friend over Facebook. Now he calls me and tells me that he was also thinking about a surprise party for her and wants to organize it together. To be honest, I already organized every detail and all I need is the attendance of people. I would have asked him if I needed any help with it. He tells me that maybe we should do it the week after because my gf might be very busy and cannot attend because she has papers to submit for the monday after the party. He also gave me several advices on talking to her best friends, taking their advice, blah blah. He started acting like we two are organizing it. I thanked him for his advice and asked him to be patient and see how people respond to dates. Then he sends me this message on Facebook: "Actually was I was trying to tell you earlier is that I know that she is usually working much more efficiently during the nights (and not the day) just before the deadlines (just like I do...). But I've just noticed that we have an exam on 26th, and the 27th the presentation of our Design Project, and this day ends with an "aperitif" to "talk about the projects" So I'd suggest perhaps to do it on Friday evening, if it's possible, because I'm sure she will need a break just after this hard week." Come on, I appreciate his help and opinions, I already stated on event page that everyone is welcome to contribute with ideas. But don't you think he is trying too hard by telling me about my girlfriend's schedule and talk on behalf of her? Please let me know if I am thinking wrong. I invited her bestfriends, with whom she spends most of her time with, to the party but they happily accepted it and have no intention to intervene with my plans. I try to give him the benefit of the doubt but it looks like he is off the limits. What do you think?

Author:	BigRyana [ Tue May 17, 2011 7:48 pm ]
Post subject:
You already answered your own question, he is overstepping his bounds. I don't know how long you and your gf have been together, but I wouldn't feel comfortable with a guy like this around my girl, other then when he needs to be (such as in class). I say this because if your gf has stated she feels "weird" around him, there may be something wrong. Girls have good intuition, and if she feels uncomfortable around him, I would not trust him alone with her. If he is as pushy and awkward as you made him seem, I would find a way to discretely distance myself and my girlfriend from him. Some people don't know limits, this guy obviously doesn't. I don't think your girlfriend will mind if she feels weird about this guy, who is obviously trying to be more than friends if he shows up at every event she is at. Good luck man!

Author:	adonis_boy [ Tue May 17, 2011 8:53 pm ]
Post subject:
This is the message I sent him. I hope he gets the main idea. Quote: Hey XXX, I really appreciate you're trying to help me out, but I have everything planned out already. No matter which day it is, seeing all of you there will definitely be enough to show how much you care about her so I feel that the best thing you could do is be there for her on this day and let me handle the rest. As her boyfriend, I feel it's my task to organize this myself. I really do appreciate that you care and if you have any comments or additional opinions that would spice up this event, please share. Otherwise, I will gladly do what is neccessary to make her get the best out of this night, of course, with your presence. Take care.

Author:	Wal [ Tue May 17, 2011 11:58 pm ]
Post subject:
All you have to do is ignore him. Facts: 1. Your girlfriend does not like this person. Well... that's it, really. If I was throwing a party for my girl, and she specifically said "I don't like hanging out with this person," I would not have invited that person to the party.

Author:	Sly_Wolf [ Wed May 18, 2011 3:08 am ]
Post subject:
you're too nice OP, this guy is straight up weird. He sounds kinda gay too. Definitely beta. Maybe your gf was nice to him when no other girl was and now he really likes her, I don't know but you should get the back story on how they're such close friends. It's no wonder your gf thinks he's weird. You sound like you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but if this guy gets worst after the kind warnings, you will have to get more firm. See how it plays out so you can make an informed decision.

PUA Forum https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/

Friend of GF Trying too Hard? https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=91807	Page 1 of 2

Author:	adonis_boy [ Wed May 18, 2011 10:51 am ]
Post subject:
Here is what he said in response to my message: Quote: Hi adonis, Yes of course you are right! I’m really sorry if I was a bit too much enthusiastic, I’m only glad that you prepare smth for her, because we are quite good friends now. Please excuse me if I was too much involved, I’m not going to tell you what you should do, it was quite stupid from me! Actually I had only thought about doing smth myself for her for some time, but did not prepare anything special. And since I’ve known you were her boyfriend, I knew I should better wait and see, even if I had this idea. In fact, I would have liked to do smth by myself if I’d be at your place, so I completely understand! So, as I told you earlier I was anyway planning to call you, to know if you had already planned smth, and was not thinking about doing smth without informing you first. I never wanted to pull the rug from under your feet! That’s even why I called directly when I saw your message, I was quite waiting for it! So don’t worry, I’m not going to bother you more: it’s even easier for me just to come and have fun! ))) Still tell me if you need any help, to prepare smth or if you have a special plan to keep the surprise till the end. I’ll be available if necessary, and else I’ll just come and enjoy your party! See you adonis, good job!! The strange thing is: This guy thinks they have a very strong friendship with my girlfriend whereas my girlfriend thinks he is weird and clingy and she wants to avoid seeing him this much.

Author:	Little Panda [ Wed May 18, 2011 1:02 pm ]
Post subject:
You handled this maturely and neutrally. That's what I would have done as well. He's backed off now and everything is back to normal. Quote: The strange thing is: This guy thinks they have a very strong friendship with my girlfriend whereas my girlfriend thinks he is weird and clingy and she wants to avoid seeing him this much. This, however, is none of your concern. Your girlfriend is the one interacting with this guy and she is the one who will do whatever she pleases with the situation. If she doesn't want to see him anymore, she will tell him. If she doesn't want him to come to the party, she'll tell him. Whichever the case, she will either tell him herself or ask for your help if necessary. But as for now, things are cool and there's nothing to be concerned about.

Author:	Tiger6Niner [ Wed May 18, 2011 7:23 pm ]
Post subject:
He sounds like a stalker to me. Are you translating the messages into English? The way things are said sounds a bit strange.

Author:	adonis_boy [ Wed May 18, 2011 7:44 pm ]
Post subject:
He is French and you probably know how French people speak English.

Author:	adonis_boy [ Thu May 19, 2011 7:34 am ]
Post subject:
Do you guys suggest that I should talk to my gf about this after the bday party?

Author:	potato [ Thu May 19, 2011 8:16 am ]
Post subject:
If you are not friends with him, and she said she didn't like him, you should not have invited him. But if I somehow found myself in the situation you are in now, I would just reply "Okay thanks" to his message and then never contact him again/invite him to anything ever again. From my experiences in relationships, and also from sleeping with girls in relationships: A. That guy is a pussy and has no chance or B. He is already hooking up with her and she's trying to hide it. Either way, the best is to let her deal with him. If she complains about him, just listen and say "Oh that sucks" in a concerned tone, or "OOOHHH looks like someone likes YOUUU" in an obnoxious/teasing way. But always show that you are neutral towards him if the topic comes up. When you go to the party, always demonstrate alpha male tactics, especially if you get in a situation where it's just you him and your gf.

Author:	Wal [ Thu May 19, 2011 1:32 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Do you guys suggest that I should talk to my gf about this after the bday party? Nope. The less you bring this guy up, the better off you are. He is a clingy, awkward dude--let her deal with it.

Author:	Little Panda [ Thu May 19, 2011 2:26 pm ]
Post subject:
Quote: Do you guys suggest that I should talk to my gf about this after the bday party? Leave it.

Author:	adonis_boy [ Tue May 31, 2011 7:28 am ]
Post subject:
Updates! This guy tells my girlfriend he has a surprise for her at the end of the party as he leaves. Then today, he gives her a pack of hand creams and lotions from her favorite body shop. She calls me and tells me he got him this as if she doesn't care (not like "Hey, you know what! XXX got me this as a present!"). When I ask how he knows about her body shop, she says she has no idea and also finds it strange. Then she tells me that she got the present, got home without opening it and called me to hear my voice. She also told me that I am her best gift to reassure me that nothing is wrong. Then I make a joke like "Hmm, maybe it is also his favorite body shop. That's why." and we laugh. Is it only me that thinks this guy is trying too hard for a "friend"? Would you get a girl who has a boyfriend a present like this?

Page 1 of 2	All times are UTC
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Group http://www.phpbb.com/

Author:	bigdog225 [ Tue May 31, 2011 8:52 am ]
Post subject:
Quote: Updates! This guy tells my girlfriend he has a surprise for her at the end of the party as he leaves. Then today, he gives her a pack of hand creams and lotions from her favorite body shop. She calls me and tells me he got him this as if she doesn't care (not like "Hey, you know what! XXX got me this as a present!"). When I ask how he knows about her body shop, she says she has no idea and also finds it strange. Then she tells me that she got the present, got home without opening it and called me to hear my voice. She also told me that I am her best gift to reassure me that nothing is wrong. Then I make a joke like "Hmm, maybe it is also his favorite body shop. That's why." and we laugh. Is it only me that thinks this guy is trying too hard for a "friend"? Would you get a girl who has a boyfriend a present like this? Naaaaaaaah bro, you have a class B creeper on your hands, these are hard to get rid of.........