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Where's this going?
https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=90953		 Page 1 of 1
Author:  Ay-Jay [ Tue May 03, 2011 9:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Where's this going?
So I'm seeing this girl from my work and she's only 17, we've had sex a few times and we text each other a lot every day. There are a few problems though:

1. We're keeping it quiet from everyone else in work so our interactions with each other around other people are just weird.

2. She worrys about what other people think, particularly her parents because of the age difference (I'm 10 years older than her).

3. We only really see each other maybe once a week outside work, it seems like she prioritises her friends over me.

I really like this girl so I want to push things forward a bit into the whole bf/gf thing rather than just 'seeing' each other thing if you know what I mean?

Any constructive advice would be welcome :)
Author:  Kobe Bryant [ Tue May 03, 2011 10:00 pm ]
Post subject: 
Read the rules. This should've been posted in General forum, not Relationships.

Mods, close this.
Author:  Snarg [ Tue May 03, 2011 10:02 pm ]
Post subject: 
How close to 18 is she? Since what you're doing is technically illegal in the States (not judging you at all), it would be way easier to nullify points 1 and 2 if you waited until she turned 18.

As for 3, get used to it. Until you guys are really deep into the relationship or she happens to be a clingy little thing (some are, some aren't), expect to share her with her friends regularly.
Author:  Ay-Jay [ Tue May 03, 2011 10:23 pm ]
Post subject: 
Kobe: Since I've been seeing this girl for about a month now I'm pretty certain it's defined as a relationship so I think this topic is in the right place.

Snarg: thanks for the reply - I live in the UK, legal age here is 16 , she's still about 6 months away from her 18th birthday though.

Most the girls I've been out with were kinda clingy so I guess that's why I find it weird that she sees her friends more than me. Hey if it's normal then that's cool - just wasn't sure lol :)
Author:  Wal [ Tue May 03, 2011 10:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Where's this going?
EDIT--took out unnecessary sentence
Quote:
1. We're keeping it quiet from everyone else in work so our interactions with each other around other people are just weird.
It can be very difficult to maintain a relationship with someone you work with. I don't know what the culture is like in the UK, but in the US you can be putting yourself at risk if the relationship is not disclosed to HR or management. I would seriously consider disclosing the relationship ASAP, on a confidential basis.

That said, as long as you're trying to hide a relationship from people, your interactions will always be strange. You're expected to be one thing here and another there, which isn't natural. You'd be more comfortable if other people at work knew about it, probably. The first step is disclosing it to HR or management and determining what the policy is on workplace relationships.
Quote:
3. We only really see each other maybe once a week outside work, it seems like she prioritises her friends over me.
Totally normal for being one month into things, like Snarg mentioned.

Get the workplace thing taken care of, unless there is some reason not to.
Author:  Chris2k10 [ Tue May 03, 2011 11:03 pm ]
Post subject: 
You have to start introducing romance to her, you gotta focus on the snuggle/fun time now with her.
Author:  SiNfUl [ Tue May 10, 2011 6:27 pm ]
Post subject: 
I agree with Wal's post, it makes sense. Now, that aside...

STOP texting everyday, it's going to get old quick. This may be one of the reasons she is spending more time with her friends than you.

You are 10 years older, nobody knows about your situation, she has to see you everyday and act normal. Bro, the sexual tension between the 2 of you can be mind blowing if you play your cards right.

I would totally ignore her at work for a few days and watch her squirm. She will want to know why you're not contacting her or if something is wrong. Maybe you found someone else, maybe you're not interested. Get these questions bouncing around in her head, use her insecurities against her. If this girl KNOWS she's got you, it's over....her attraction WILL start to fade.

Have you tried getting her to do naughty things at work? Ask her to take a naughty picture of herself somewhere at work and send it to you. Play little sexual games like this, she will love it. That's what I would do.

The more you play these fun games, and keep her interested, the higher her attraction will raise. When her attraction and interest level is high enough, the boyfriend/girlfriend thing will fall right into place.
Author:  Ay-Jay [ Wed May 25, 2011 9:56 pm ]
Post subject: 
Thanks man I'll give those things a go, everyone at work knows now anyway and now my boss is also trying it on with her (wtf?) :(
Author:  Mack 2.0 [ Thu May 26, 2011 1:45 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Thanks man I'll give those things a go, everyone at work knows now anyway and now my boss is also trying it on with her (wtf?) :(
yes, once all the males in a workplace realize that a female coworkers vagina is open for business, they all whip their wankers out and chase her around. problem is, the boss usually wins. why? because he owns a maserati and has endless supplies of coke and free time. epic fail.
Author:  cedius [ Thu May 26, 2011 8:31 am ]
Post subject: 
Good stuff on the forum here, dont' text so often and as long as she doesn't say anything, then it's just that, a "behind everyone's back" type relationship.

How did this come about, was it just a fling that suddenly turned into wanting more...either way...work place relationship are NOT GOOD. All it takes is for one person to say...hey, it's over and guess what, once you try to play the stalker card...HR will be escorting you out...but then again, that's here in the US...not sure how things play out there but still...I hope this place of employment isn't some place you were thinking of making a career out of...

@MACK Not true...What if the boss is the manager at Wal-Mart...then he'd be rolling a 1998 Hyundai...BUT, there would be copious amounts of Coke...problem is, it'll be diet! Never the less, I can't hate on Wal-Mart managers...they get theirs too! :P
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