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| Interpersonal Attraction https://pick-up-artist-forum.com/viewtopic.php?f=128&t=86928 |
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| Author: | ManlySpirit [ Sun Mar 06, 2011 7:54 pm ] |
| Post subject: | Interpersonal Attraction |
I felt like this was the best place to post this... Now while game theory is great for creating attraction and that initial spark that may last a few weeks, it is absolute shit, when it come to answering the questions and solving the problems that come up during an intimate interaction between two people, and in creating said relationship. Yes, a relationship you build with a girl, through game theory, quickly escalating, and moving for the fuck, has a high probability of falling apart somewhere along the line. Now don't get me wrong... in no way am I endorsing the idea of dropping all of the stuff you have learned through PUA, and the foundational ideas of PUA. On the contrary, they are vital in establishing yourself as a desirable male. However, thats it. Thats all it does. Game theories purpose is to establish someone as a desirable male, for sex, for a relationship, for marriage... w/e. Somewhere along the line you are gonna have to drop most of the game. All of the push-pull cat string theory, all of the NLP sexual patterns, etc... Well, perhaps not drop, but definitely push it aside in favor of something more powerful. Now in order to understand what this thing is, you first need to comprehend WHAT makes people fall in love with one an other. And HOW this happens. Now this is an elusive question as it is, however there is plenty of research done on this subject. It's Interpersonal Attraction. This is the driving force between all human interactions and bonds. This is what causes friendships, political treaties, and romantic relationships. Interpersonal Attraction can be viewed as a force that tends to draw people together and resist their separation. When measuring attraction you have to keep in mind the personalities of the individuals and and situation behind the relationship. Causes: Now what exactly causes this attraction? The first is Physical Attraction: Now, in men this is undoubtedly true, if a woman is ugly, we simply wont be attracted to her. In women however, this is status and alpha-male qualities, although, physique does have a small impact as well. This is where game theory shines. Next is Propinquity. This refers to the physical and psychological proximity between people. It can mean physical proximity, a kinship between people, or a similarity in the nature between things (like-attracts-like). Example two people living under the same roof will have higher propinquity than those living in different floors. As goes with people who share similar or opposing political views. So in other words people with higher propinquity will have a higher chance of forming some sort of relationship, whether its a friendship or a romantic relationship or w/e. Propinquity is more than physical proximity, it is more like, exposure, the more exposure as stimulus gets, the more likable it becomes. Now there are other factors like Similarity, and Reinforcement, both of which are easy to figure out. Similarity is a given, and Reinforcement basically says that people like people who like them. The security of knowing that someone is returning your affection. This is the main reason why Cat String Theory falls apart in a more intimate relationship. However the most important cause that I wanna cover is Familiarity. Familiarity is intimacy, it refers to the feeling of being in a close personal association and belonging together. It is a familiar and very close affective connection with another as a result of a bond that is forged through knowledge and experience of the other. Genuine intimacy in human relationships requires: dialogue, transparancy, vulnerability and reciprocity. In human relationships, the meaning and level of intimacy varies between relationships, in anthropology it is considered the result of a successful seduction. Rapport building to the point that it enables both parties to to confidentially disclose previously hidden thoughts and feelings. Intimate conversations become the basis for "confidences" (secret knowledge) that bind people. Developing an intimate relationship typically takes a considerable amount of time (months and years) and rapport. To sustain intimacy for any length of time it takes well-developed emotional and interpersonal awareness. It requires an ability to be both seperate and together participants in a relationship, self-differentiation. This is the behavior that joins family, friends, and lovers. It evolves through reciprocal self-disclosure. Poor skills in developing intimacy can lead to getting too close too quickly, struggling to find the boundary and to sustain connection. This is why sometimes relationships can fall apart, if they started as a fast-seduction, because there was no foundational intimacy. No base for the relationship to grow from. On the other hand, growing to attached to someone without any physical intimacy (sex), as well all know, is equally bad. Well theres more to say on this subject, but I have to go, so I'll leave it there for now... Anyways, I'll be back with more in the future Cheers |
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| Author: | BrianFL2 [ Sun Mar 06, 2011 9:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
"Yes, a relationship you build with a girl, through game theory, quickly escalating, and moving for the fuck, has a high probability of falling apart somewhere along the line." The way you ended your post it sounded like you were just making a speech. However , I will answer your main statement. ALL relationships have a high probability of falling apart in the early stages and the risk of breakup absolutely NEVER goes away. In the long run, the way a couple gets together is not usually a big deal. Massive deception or infidelity are possible exceptions. People used to be afraid to tell their friends they met their husband/wife on the internet because of that kind of irrational bias. Both women and men put their best foot forward, and then time and change take their course. |
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