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"Negative" GF
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Author:  Sayha [ Fri Feb 25, 2011 11:08 pm ]
Post subject:  "Negative" GF
hello i am wondering how you guys would deal with woman that doesnt give much into relationship?

i mean like if i wont call her out she wont do it and we wont meet
if i give her 1 call she gives me 1 call if i wont she neither
if i send her like 10SMS she sends lower than 10

i have to initiate everything and it really starts to piss me off

and for example when i ask her why didnt she send a "good night" sms her answer is why didnt i do it?
she just cant answer me with normal answer and excepts me to do everything first and that i should be the one who gives more to the relationship

we are together 10 months but if it is going to continue like this i dont think i can handle this situation with a girl that doesnt give to the relationship as much as i except
Author:  Satir [ Sat Feb 26, 2011 11:37 am ]
Post subject: 
Well that girl isn't really interested in you. She is just using you until something better comes up. It's a matter of time when she will dump you.
But you can do a little trick. You should start being a challenge for her, not the other way around. Give her a taste of her own medicine. Start by deleting hers number from your cell phone, destroy every contact info you have about her. (so if you have a moment of weakness you won't be able to call her). Start completely ignoring her, DO NOT CONTACT HER! YOU WANT TO MAKE HER CHASE YOU! If she doesn't call you for two weeks or more, dump her.
She must call you, do not respond to her sms/e-mail/etc. during that period, it means no contact at all.
Author:  Snake Doctor [ Sat Feb 26, 2011 12:39 pm ]
Post subject: 
Was she like that in the beginning of the relantioship?

You sound too clingy I would brake contact from this girl, until she reinitate contact. Either way this girl doesnt seem much interested or take you for granted,. If she ask you why you dont call her. You should say you were too busy,
Author:  Sayha [ Sat Feb 26, 2011 1:05 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
Well that girl isn't really interested in you. She is just using you until something better comes up. It's a matter of time when she will dump you.
yeah thats what i am also thinking she is just waiting till i make mistake and then she can play the innocent one and wait me to chase her

Quote:
But you can do a little trick. You should start being a challenge for her, not the other way around. Give her a taste of her own medicine. Start by deleting hers number from your cell phone, destroy every contact info you have about her. (so if you have a moment of weakness you won't be able to call her). Start completely ignoring her, DO NOT CONTACT HER! YOU WANT TO MAKE HER CHASE YOU! If she doesn't call you for two weeks or more, dump her.
She must call you, do not respond to her sms/e-mail/etc. during that period, it means no contact at all.
thats not really possible since we are classmates and we are seeing eachother every day and if i wouldnt contact her i am sure she will not do it since she thinks she is girl so she is the prize no matter what
but once i break our relationship (when we had christmas holidays so we didnt even see eachother) and guess what happened?i sent her last goodbye SMS and after that no contact for 1 month so she didnt really care





Quote:
Was she like that in the beginning of the relantioship?
yeah she is type of girl who wont chase a boy

Quote:
You sound too clingy I would brake contact from this girl, until she reinitate contact. Either way this girl doesnt seem much interested or take you for granted,. If she ask you why you dont call her. You should say you were too busy,
yeah we are classmates so i am even granted she has no fear of loosing me :/





or guys do you think i should talk with her about that and tell her i dont want relationship like that?
Author:  Snake Doctor [ Sat Feb 26, 2011 1:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
I would brake contact srl. Dont go talk to her, you have given hints saying you are not happy with her atitude so she only will chase you if she likes you.
Author:  Sayha [ Sat Feb 26, 2011 1:37 pm ]
Post subject: 
well lets say i break contact and wont talk to her then after some days she comes to me and talk but jsut like with friend she wont touch me,hug or anything and her tone voice will be angry/sad how should i react hug her or just act like her?


and yeah you are right soemtimes i am not happy with her attitude i could imagine better relationship :/
Author:  Apocalyptica [ Sat Feb 26, 2011 1:50 pm ]
Post subject: 
Its very clear you aren't happy in the relationship you are now.

Its also very clear this girl is not the type of girl you like. It isn't even said she is not interested. Some girls are just like that. They expect the boy to do everything and don't get the message that a LTR should consist of mutual efforts. Mostly they are either still young, or either inexperienced in stable LTR's.

The conclusion for me is that you shouldn't continue with a girl like her, since you are obviously looking for someone that gives you the "love"-feeling way more than she does. In fact, she doesn't give it you at all.

I know it's hard to break up even with a girl you aren't really happy with. I was there too, but you have to know that whatever happens, you won't marry this girl mate. Too much shit, too much problems.

You can either waste your time more, stress yourself looking for answers you will never get, or just finish this story, recover from it and be a happy single man again, looking for a girl you really deserve.

Think on the long term and consider ending this. Don't wait her to do it, cause probably she won't. You are just there for her ego you know..
Author:  poet1234 [ Sat Feb 26, 2011 4:30 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
thats not really possible since we are classmates and we are seeing eachother every day and if i wouldnt contact her i am sure she will not do it since she thinks she is girl so she is the prize no matter what
Surprise :
Girls don't usually think they are the prize !
Most of people behavior is automatic, so guess what...You think she is the prize
Chances are you are not the cause of her initial behavior, however I will blame you. Because you not only accept but encourage this sort of behavior, on long term.
Quote:
but once i break our relationship (when we had christmas holidays so we didnt even see eachother) and guess what happened?i sent her last goodbye SMS and after that no contact for 1 month so she didnt really care
Sane people don't get in this sort of relationships. Sane people either are alone or in a relationship, not in the middle of this mind fuck battlefield.
Quote:
yeah she is type of girl who wont chase a boy
In this case, she doesn't want a relationship.
Quote:
yeah we are classmates so i am even granted she has no fear of loosing me :/
If she has no fear of losing you, why stay in the relationship in the first place ? She doesn't give a shit about you anyway.
Author:  Sayha [ Sat Feb 26, 2011 5:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
Apocalyptica but dont you think first i should discuss it with her and see if she is willing to change something?
or i should change my behavior against her and see how she reacts?


Quote:
Surprise :
Girls don't usually think they are the prize !
Most of people behavior is automatic, so guess what...You think she is the prize
Chances are you are not the cause of her initial behavior, however I will blame you. Because you not only accept but encourage this sort of behavior, on long term.
she does she is even visiting chatting sites just to raise her ego she loves when guys are writing her how cute she looks or if she doesnt want to hang out
when she was single she hanged out with anyone even with guys that didnt even speak with her language lol

Quote:
In this case, she doesn't want a relationship.
she does but she knows even if we break up she can get fast someone else

Quote:
If she has no fear of losing you, why stay in the relationship in the first place ? She doesn't give a shit about you anyway.
well she knows if we break up she will be seeing me and hopes i come back to her again :/
Author:  Apocalyptica [ Sat Feb 26, 2011 6:46 pm ]
Post subject: 
Discussing what?

You don't have to listen to HER, you have to listen to YOURSELF.

Do you feel happy ? No you don't, you said it more or less here.


The only thing you can do for now is try to turn the tables. Basically: stop giving a shit about her. Go out with your buds, get drunk and flirt with other girls. Just forget her. If she comes back SHE will have to put effort and SHE will do the talk.

If nothing happens, you never really got her - so nothing to worry about at all.
Author:  Snake Doctor [ Sat Feb 26, 2011 7:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Man ive been in your situation ,where I would admit crazy shits that my ex would pull and by time things got worse where I would discuss things with her I simply didnt want to lose her because I loved her ,it was problem she knew I would be upset so she would escalate to a point so I would lost my patiente , She was the prize that she could find guys in blink of an eye and i know she got major afcs boosting her ego as we speak. The really truth when we broke off, I start sarging and know she probably sees much hotter girls on facebook asking to hang out. So after one week and half of no contact she remembers I exist on friday night with a lame excuse of having stolen her phone. So now who is the prize

Dont be stupid she knows for sure that those things she does hurt you, but she doesnt care she doesnt like you, when a guy she consideres better she will toss you like you didnt exist. Brake contact if she reiniates saying she misses you its your best bet. Do you really wanna be with a girl that doenst misses you?? or have the need to talk with you? The next thing you are going to say is that your sex life exist almost to nothing.
Author:  Sayha [ Sat Feb 26, 2011 8:13 pm ]
Post subject: 
heh you guys are right i must do something with this and show her that she is not the only girl and flirt with other girls in class and see if she gets jealous if not i think i got my answer :)

and about that sex life you are also right that bitch wants sex only with condoms
Author:  Apocalyptica [ Sat Feb 26, 2011 10:10 pm ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
I skimmed the above advice because it seemed like bad advice. Who on earth thinks its a bad idea to discuss an issue in a relationship? Of course the correct solution is to act like a spiteful little kid and play mind games. That totally leads to less games in a relationship.
and you really think this girl will change all the way for him? Its plain clear this girl is either not into him at all, or either totally not fair when dealing with a ltr.

Discussing will maybe "resolve" for couple of days, after which (i) she knows even more he is more into her than vice verca and hence (ii) the situation will come back, and will even be worse.

So, no, personally i don't see the point of doing it, also cause this doesn't even look like a relationship..... why would you devote effort into this..
Author:  poet1234 [ Sun Feb 27, 2011 9:13 am ]
Post subject: 
Quote:
she does she is even visiting chatting sites just to raise her ego she loves when guys are writing her how cute she looks or if she doesnt want to hang out
when she was single she hanged out with anyone even with guys that didnt even speak with her language lol
Yes and these guys reinforce her behavior too.
Please understand... if some guy acts as if he is the prize, she will play by his way.
Quote:
she does but she knows even if we break up she can get fast someone else
What are you trying to argue with me ? If she does, but it's indifferent to her whether it's you or somebody else, then how the fuck are you gonna feel special ? How the fuck are you gonna feel you have a girlfriend ?
Quote:
well she knows if we break up she will be seeing me and hopes i come back to her again :/
I suggest you have find another girl first, and then break up. Then there won't be any risk of going back.
Author:  Sayha [ Sun Feb 27, 2011 12:53 pm ]
Post subject: 
thanks for reply and help guys i ll see what i can do :)
and now i am sure that i have to change my behaviour against her :)
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